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  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  I ACKNOWLEDGE GOD AS THE HEAD OF MY LIFE AND WITHOUT HIM; I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO DO WHAT I ENJOY. SECOND, I LIKE TO ACKNOWLEDGE MY FAMILY FOR GIVING ME STRENGTH AND SUPPORT TO KEEP ME GOING WHEN I WANT TO QUIT AT TIMES. NO DREAM IS WORTH HAVING IF YOU AREN’T WILLING TO PUT IN THE EFFORT. MY FAMILY ENFORCES MY EFFORTS. I MUST NOT FORGET MY TEAM OF BETA READERS. THEY ARE FANTASTIC AND I WOULD BE LOST WITHOUT THEM. KIZZY SANDS HARTSFIELD, TAHARRA KALLIANN ROBERTS AND LOUISE BROWN WENT ABOVE AND BEYOND JUST READING. I THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.

  DISCLAMER

  THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. NAMES, CHARACTERS, PLACES AND INCIDENTS EITHER ARE THE PRODUCT OF THE AUTHOR’S IMAGINATION OR ARE USED FICTITIOUSLY, AND ANY RESEMBLANCE TO ACTUAL PERSONS, LIVING OR DEAD, BUSINESS ESTABLISHMENTS, EVENTS OR LOCALES IS ENTIRELY COINCIDENTAL.

  THIS EBOOK IS LICENSED FOR THE BUYER’S PERSONAL ENJOYMENT ONLY. THIS EBOOK MAY NOT BE RE-SOLD, UPLOADED VIA THE INTERNET, COPIED, PRINTED, OR REDISTRIBUTED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE PUBLISHER OR AUTHOR. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE THIS BOOK WITH ANOTHER PERSON, PLEASE PURCHASE AN ADDITIONAL COPY FOR EACH RECIPIENT. IF YOU ARE READING THIS BOOK AND DID NOT PURCHASE IT, OR IF IT WAS NOT PURCHASED FOR YOUR USE ONLY, THEN PLEASE RETURN IT TO THE RETAILER AND PURCHASE YOUR OWN COPY. THANK YOU FOR RESPECTING THE HARD WORK OF THIS AUTHOR.

  FIRST PUBLISHED BY BOOKSBYTOYE 2014

  COVER DESIGN COPYRIGHT LENNY C. MIDDLEBROOK AND TOYE LAWSON BROWN.

  COPYRIGHT © 2014 TOYE LAWSON BROWN

  PUBLISHED BY: BOOKSBYTOYE

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

  MY PERSONAL QUOTE: “SOMETIMES I WISH I COULD CRAWL INTO ONE OF MY FICTIONAL WORLDS AND LIVE THERE”---TOYE LAWSON BROWN

  Prologue

  Orlando walked into the locker room after getting out the shower. “So what have you decided to do, Anthony?” Orlando removed the towel from around his waist to pull on a pair of boxer briefs.

  “I don’t know, man.” Anthony buttoned his shirt and tucked it inside the waist of his jeans. “Melanie has been a part of my life forever.”

  “I understand, but what about Lincoln? You told me it was over for good with Melanie and all of a sudden she is back and you are spending time with her.”

  “It was, until she dropped this in my lap.” Anthony sat on the wooden bench and scrubbed his hands down his face. The vigorous workout he, Jonathon, and Orlando had done didn’t ease the stress as he had hoped. “I can’t let her go through this alone, Orlando. Her husband abandoned her and she has no one else but me to depend on. I can’t let her down.”

  Orlando sat down beside him. “You need to tell Lincoln what is going on. You’re putting me the middle because eventually Regan is going to ask me what’s going on. I’m getting married soon. I don’t want to start off my marriage by lying to my wife.”

  Anthony shot him a pleading look. “Don’t say anything, Orlando. Give me time to think of something, please.”

  “I can’t make any promises. If Regan doesn’t ask me anything, I won’t say anything. However, if she asks me, I’m obligated to be truthful. That’s her sister and they’re a close-knit family. With her mother and sister coming in from Chicago for the wedding, they’re going to notice Lincoln is acting strange.”

  “I’ll make up my mind before the wedding.”

  “You gotta do it sooner.”

  “I want to tell Lincoln what is going on but she won’t understand.”

  Orlando shook his head looking at his long-time friend. “I’m not going to lecture you because you’re a grown man. You’re playing with fire, Ant. And now I’m in it because I know about Melanie.”

  Anthony rolled his eyes upward. “It’s not like I planned this! Gwen called me to the bar to have a drink with her. I didn’t know Melanie was going to be there celebrating the birthday of another friend.”

  “But you didn’t leave once you saw her there. Now Melanie is leaning on you for support while she goes through a divorce. Ant, why can’t you see your sister is screwing up your relationship with Lincoln?”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “Gwen has always been the supportive one in the family. She has never butted into my personal life before and she is not plotting to break up me and Lincoln.”

  “Then what is she doing? If Melanie is her best friend, shouldn’t she be trying to get Melanie back with her husband?”

  Anthony balled his sweaty workout clothes together shoving them in his gym bag. The vast locker room seemed small and the walls were closing in around him. He couldn’t breathe. The air was thin as he sucked what little of it filled the room into his lungs. Neither of his best friends knew the entire story concerning Melanie’s return to Cleveland, and he wasn’t ready to tell them yet.

  He knew their question would be how he could have let Melanie back into his life again. The woman was toxic to him and he knew it. After they’d finally broken up, they decided it would be best not to ever see each other again. But, the promise was broken soon after he learned her secret.

  Anthony felt a jolt hit him on the shoulder and shook free from his daydream. “Gwen never told me Melanie wanted to move back to Cleveland. She made a point to tell me everything going on in Melanie’s life but that.” And the bombshell that she dropped in my lap he said to himself. He so wanted to unload the truth on Orlando but couldn’t bring himself to do it.

  Orlando perched his hands on his hips. “Gwen didn’t tell you that for a reason. She wants you with Melanie and knew the keg of info she was sitting on would do it.”

  Frustrated Anthony stood up and slammed his fist into the door of the locker. “You don’t know that! Gwen and Melanie are best friends. Gwen thought it was time I knew what was going on with Melanie.”

  “Wise up, man! Your sister knows you’re in love with Lincoln. She’s trying to break you, Anthony. She wants those old feelings you had for Melanie years ago to come back.”

  Anthony frowned. “Ease up, Orlando; that’s my sister you’re talking about!”

  “I know. And you know I don’t mince words. Gwen doesn’t care for Lincoln plain and simple. We’ve all seen it and that’s why you don’t bring Lincoln around her that much.”

  “Gwen doesn’t dislike Lincoln; she feels she is too young for me. Maybe she’s right,” he mumbled under his breath.

  Orlando pulled his t-shirt over his head. “Good grief. Get a freaking backbone and take a stance! You’re letting your sister choose which woman is best for you.”

  Anthony’s dark eyes deepened as he glared at his best friend. “I don’t want to be like you! When I get married, I’m only doing it once! As of now, I don’t know which of them I want to be with because I have feelings for them both.”

  Orlando shot back at him. “You’re fucking pathetic! I’m not going to let you hurt Lincoln because your sister wants to mend her best friend’s broken heart. You need to open your eyes and see for yourself what she is doing! Melanie wasn’t even on your radar until Gwen started pushing her on you.”

  Anthony drew his hands into a fist. “You need to walk away.”

  Orlando raised his hands in the air. “You want to hit me? I’m not going to fight you, Ant. We’re boys and despite you hate what I’m saying; you know it’s the truth. Keep your damn sister from meddling in your life before you lose Lincoln!”

  Jonathon DiMinico entered the locker room and sensed the wall of tension between the two men. “What the hell is going on? I could hear you two screaming at each other in the shower.”

  Orlando slung his gym bag over his shoulder. “You need to talk some sense into him before he loses everything,” he said leaving the locker room.

  Jon sat on the bench taking the towel from around his neck to dry his hair. “What’s going on with you two, Ant?”

  Anthony allowed his rage to get th
e best of him. He would never fight any of his friends. They were firefighters and considered themselves brothers. “Orlando should learn to keep his opinions to himself. Now that he is marrying Regan, he thinks his life is perfect and wants to pawn his advice off on everyone. He knows how married life is. Hell, this isn’t his first trip down the aisle,” he said loudly.

  Jon chuckled. “So his advice made you mad enough to want to hit him?”

  “It pissed me off.” Anthony paced a path between the dull rust-colored lockers.

  “Considering how angry you are, is he wrong? I have to admit you have been stressed lately and that’s not like you. Out of all of us, you’re the happy-go-lucky guy and the glue that keeps the team together. What is going on with you?”

  “I can’t be happy all the damn time, Jon. I have issues just like the rest of you.”

  Jon zipped his jeans and put on a t-shirt. “Nobody expects you to be happy all the time. We’re just concerned about you.”

  He unintentionally yelled at Jon. “Don’t be! Orlando is being an asshole about my sister. Gwen is not trying to push Melanie on me again. You agree with me don’t you?”

  Jon bit his bottom lip. “I love Gwen like a sister, but I have to agree with Orlando; Gwen is pushing Melanie on you. Even Gabby asked me if she was trying to axe Lincoln out the picture.”

  “Why can’t you all see Gwen is looking out for me?” He sat with his legs on either side of the bench to explain. “I’m ten years older than Lincoln. She’s a beautiful woman that could have any man she wants. What if one day she regrets she lost the best years of her life to me?”

  Jon ran a brush through his wavy blondish-brown hair. “Are you speaking for Lincoln or yourself?”

  Anthony’s head lowered. “I don’t know anymore, Jon. I love Lincoln but I have a history with Melanie and now an obligation to her. How do I walk away from one without hurting the other?”

  Jon put his brush in the locker and closed it. “What obligation do you have to Melanie? She left you and married some asshole on a whim.”

  “I don’t want to get into that right now.”

  “Well, you’ll have to go with your heart. I agree Melanie has been a part of your life since our academy days, but that doesn’t mean she’s your future. You guys have a problem staying together. There is nothing saying it’ll work if you decide to give it another chance this time. Then, on the other hand, Lincoln is young, vibrant, and ambitious. She brings out the best in you. She is by your side at every firefighter event and laughs off the jokes about your age difference. You have been with her for two years without any problems until now. Anthony, if you let her go, I can guarantee she won’t be around if you and Melanie fall out again.”

  “Lincoln is a one-of-a-kind person. I see guys checking her out and probably wonder why she is with me. Hell, I’ve even caught Nick checking her out and he doesn’t do interracial dating.”

  “Nick has changed since his accident. But, don’t beat yourself up because other men are checking her out. You’re in good shape, reasonably good-looking and your job has a certain effect on women. They love firefighters.”

  Anthony rubbed his head. He no longer wore the bald look after deciding to let his hair grow. “We do have a way with the ladies. And me being a Black firefighter makes me even more appealing,” he said with a grin.

  “Nah, bro, you’re becoming common now. Orlando Torres is the rarity in the fire department these days plus he’s an officer.”

  Anthony nodded. “When are you going to tell Gabby you made Lieutenant?”

  “I told her. My issue is I don’t want to leave Station 30. That’s my house and leaving it is not an option for me. I’ll wait until Murad moves to B-Chief and hopefully, I’ll move into his spot on the engine.”

  Anthony’s cell phone rang. He picked it up and checked the caller ID. “It’s Lincoln.”

  “I’ll catch up with you later, Ant,” Jon said.

  Anthony nodded to his friend and answered the call before Lincoln hung up. “Hey, baby, I was just thinking about you.”

  “Oh, really? I find that strange since I haven’t heard from you all day.”

  “Lincoln, I’m at the gym. I’m done with my workout with Orlando and Jon and I’m on my way out the door. Do you want to grab something to eat or are you still busy with Regan?”

  “We’re done with wedding details for today and she is gone to meet Orlando. My sister is going to be a beautiful bride. Orlando is going to fall in love with her all over again when he watches her walk down the aisle. They have great chemistry together.”

  “But, you will steal the show, baby,” Anthony said.

  “I’m not trying to ruin her day by upstaging her. I will be happy and paste a smile on my face no matter how I am feeling at the time.”

  He heard the lack of enthusiasm in her voice and knew he was the cause of it. “Lincoln, what’s the matter with you?”

  “Nothing, Anthony. We should sit down and talk. I mean if you can find time to fit me in your schedule.”

  Nervous, he scratched at his neck. “I don’t like how you’re making it seem so serious, Lincoln. We’ll talk over lunch. Why don’t you meet me at Lola’s in thirty-minutes?”

  “Alright, I’ll be there in thirty-minutes. Don’t keep me waiting, Anthony.”

  “Nothing is going to keep me from you; I swear. I love you, Lincoln.”

  “Yeah, me too. Bye.”

  Chapter One

  “Please hold still or I won’t be able to lace your dress correctly.”

  “I can’t breathe. Loosen it a bit - especially around my middle,” Regan complained to the seamstress.

  Lincoln pushed her sister's chest into the dress while the woman worked the laces from behind. “Why would you binge-eat with your wedding around the corner? Now the dress is too small, and there is no room to let it out.”

  Regan pushed her sister away. “I’m a size four. I’ve always worn a size four, and my stress eating has not caused me to gain any weight.”

  “Regan, you’ve put on at least ten pounds! Have you not noticed the dress doesn’t fit anymore?” Lincoln fussed at her sister.

  Regan stepped out of the dress handing it to the seamstress. Today was the final fitting for Regan’s upcoming nuptials to Orlando Torres. “Is there any room to let it out on each side?”

  The woman scrunched her face. “Not really. However, we do have the same exact dress in the showroom. The bride never wore the dress, but it’s a size eight. Why don’t I get it for you to try on?”

  “A size eight!” Regan shouted. “No way will I fit a dress that big. If I have to stop eating altogether, I will fit this dress. I will lose the five extra pounds by the end of the week.”

  Lincoln flopped in the plush chair, amused by her sister’s denial of the extra weight. She released a sad sigh. Regan was getting married for a second time, and she had yet to do it once. Anthony had hinted at the possibility of being engaged, but it didn’t happen on her birthday or during the holidays. It seemed likely he would never propose and that she was wasting her time with him.

  She looked at her bare ring finger. Her biological clock was ticking, and he wasn’t getting any younger. There was a ten-year age difference between them, not to mention his job as a firefighter was dangerous.

  Her attention went back to Regan as she stomped off the platform. “I don’t need a bigger size! I have always worn a size four, and I will go to my grave wearing a size four.”

  “Get over it, Regan. You know wedding gowns run small, and wearing a size eight would be humongous on you. Although your butt could take up the extra space,” Lincoln said, looking at Regan as she bent over to put on her pants. “You have put on a bit of a spread back there.”

  Regan stood upright, buttoning her snug-fitting jeans. “You’re not helping.”

  “I’m sorry. I think you’re making too much out of nothing. You’re beautiful, and Orlando loves you the way you are. He won’t care if the dress is four sizes bi
gger.”

  Regan tossed a wad of tissue paper at her sister. “Shut up before I change my mind about your dress and make you wear something tacky and ugly.”

  “Our dresses are back already, and mine is a perfect fit,” she smirked.

  “Yeah, well not all women are built like 10-year-old girls. Some of us have curves.”

  Lincoln frowned. “That isn’t funny. I was playing with you about your weight.”

  “Girl, you know I’m kidding. You have a great body.”

  Lincoln stood up to view her profile in the mirror. The wall of mirrors reflected the image Regan joked about. She was tall, small-breasted, and super slender. “I wonder if the way I look is why Anthony isn’t interested in me anymore.”

  “You’ve always been slender, and Anthony is crazy about you.”

  She shook her head. “Not lately. So, are we ready to go?”

  Regan took her by the elbow. “Lincoln, what is going on between you and Anthony?”

  Lincoln blinked to stop the tears from forming in her eyes. “I think he is seeing his ex-girlfriend again.”

  “Do you have proof he’s seeing her?”

  “No, I don’t have proof, other than I never see him anymore. You know how he used to stay with me on his days off; now he goes home.” She fiddled with the neon orange paint covering her fingernails. “Has Orlando mentioned anything about Anthony?”

  “Not a word. And I don’t believe he would since I’m your sister. Lincoln, you should talk to Anthony instead of accusing him of cheating. What if you’re wrong?”

  Lincoln folded her arms across her chest. “What if I’m right?”

  Regan took her sister into her arms to comfort her. “If my first marriage taught me anything, it is to talk about what is bothering you. Accusing Anthony of infidelity could damage your relationship for good.”

  “I want to talk to him, but I don’t want to hear he’s dumping me. I’ve invested two years in this relationship, Regan.”

  Regan stroked her sister’s black silky hair. “I’ll ask Orlando if he knows anything. It might be something else going on with Anthony. I can’t believe he would cheat on you. Stop worrying about nothing.”