Do Not Return To Sender Read online

  "I better go." Razer moved away, his heart racing. Jameson Caruthers. The art critic.

  Blake gripped his arm, yanking him back. "Wait a minute. Allow me to finish. You have to follow your heart, Razer. I've known you long enough to know you found something with Trenton. You're a smart guy but get your head out of your ass. Go to his house after the show and talk to him. Okay? I'll go to your house and wait for you and if you don't come home, it'll thrill me. I want you happy. I want you to be happy. I want you to fall in love. Do you understand me? Do you believe me?"

  As the streetlight cascaded across them in a warm hue, Razer really heard Blake for the first time. "You're a damn good friend. I adore you."

  "But you're not in love with me and you know what, that's perfectly acceptable. I'll always be your friend. Go find your heart and bring back the life you lost. Do it for me." Blake smiled and pressed his fingers across Razer's mouth before turning and walking into the street.

  Razer held his arms and sighed. He knew at that moment he wanted nothing more than to talk with Trenton and to enter into the contract. If only the man would have him. Hissing, he gathered his nerves and walked back into the gallery. For once he was going to follow his heart.

  Chapter Six

  "You're not starting with that bullshit again, are you?" Dyson hissed.

  Trenton said nothing as he tossed ice into a glass and poured a copious amount of bourbon, sloshing over the side of the glass.

  "Un-fucking believable. You knew about this guy Razer was seeing before you had him out to the house."

  "Yeah. I did. But you didn't see the way they were basically fucking in the middle of the damn gallery," Trenton snarled.

  "Let's see where we are with this. Okay?" Dyson sauntered to the cabinet, grabbed a glass and poured a drink for himself. Taking a huge gulp, he set the glass down with a thud. "Oh yeah.

  You haven't returned any of Razer's emails or phone calls in say three days now and it's because you say you don't want to hurt him yet you're hurting him. He's got a huge gallery opening and instead of being there to support him, you remember, the guy that's broke. The one you said you wanted to enter into a life with. But you treat him like trash when he embraces his past lover. The guy he's ready to give up for a life with you! Am I missing anything here or are you just a stupid, cruel asshole?"

  "Fuck you!"

  "Truth hurts, eh?"

  Trenton clenched his fist. Never had he anticipated falling this hard for a man he barely knew and to see him kissing another man shocked him to the point Trenton ran like a rat. "I told you I'm afraid of hurting him."

  "Then why did you go to the gallery showing?"

  "Because…"

  "Shit. You're pathetic. You have everything you've even wanted waiting for you and you're too arrogant to reach out and grab it. You're not the only guy in the world and Razer has a life too. So get your head unstuck from your ass and talk to him!"

  "You don't understand what I've had to deal with!"

  Dyson snorted. "I understand enough and care about you enough that I went to talk to Razer…" As soon as he said the words, Dyson sucked in his breath, his eyes opening wide.

  Swallowing, he grabbed the glass off the counter, his hand shaking visibly.

  "What did you just say?" Trenton glared at him.

  Dyson looked away, saying nothing.

  Trenton closed the distance between then and huffed. "I asked you a question. What did you just say? You went to see him behind my back?" Anger rattled through his chest. He'd never felt this level of rage with Dyson and not since...since… Flashes of light spun around the periphery of his vision and his heart thumped raggedly, sending echoes of electric pulses into his ears.

  Unable to breathe, he grabbed his chest and panted.

  "Whoa! Are you okay? Shit! Trenton, let's get you into a chair. You're white as a ghost."

  "No!" Trenton gripped the counter and blinked, concentrating on calming his heart rate.

  Dyson backed away and sighed. "What's going on with you?"

  "Why did you do that?" Barely able to get the words out, Trenton took a long sip of his drink before pushing the glass onto the counter. He had to get a grip. "Why?"

  "Because you care about Razer and you weren't going to tell him."

  "You had no fucking right! None" Anger flashing through him again and Trenton gasped, panic filling his body.

  "Look at what you're doing to yourself. This is nuts. It's not like you."

  "It's my life, damn it! I don't need you or anyone else to interfere."

  Dyson clucked his jaw and shook his head. Slamming the glass down on the counter, he stalked toward the kitchen door.

  "We are you going?" Trenton knew he'd hurt Dyson and it wasn't his intension at all. He cared desperately about him but the past was too horrible for him to deal with.

  "I'm going to my house for a damn change to give you space," Dyson huffed.

  "I'm sorry."

  Dyson shook his head and stood still. "I know you are. You need to figure this out, Trenton before it kills you." Hesitating, he turned back briefly. "And while you won't tell me the real truth about what happened during those years of torture, you need to tell Razer. You both need to heal."

  Hearing the words stunned him. Caught in a blazing vision of the past, several seconds passed before he turned around. "Wait." As the sound of the front door slamming reverberated into the kitchen, Trenton fell against the counter, tears sliding from the corners of his eyes.

  Sighing, he sucked in his breath and for the first time in years, he wept.

  Every action, every deed and every moment of horror flashed in front of his eyes like a slideshow straight from hell. Trenton had never forgiven himself for that period of time. How could he? How could he have succumb to such insanity? Struggling to reach his drink, he managed to get it to his mouth but his hand was shaking so badly the expensive liquid dribbled to the floor instead.

  Trenton dropped his head and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Tipping his head back, he laughed through the tears and had no idea what the hell he was going to do. As the sounds of the doorbell floated into the room, he jerked his head up. Maybe Dyson forgot his keys. Maybe. No, that wouldn't happen. With no announcement from the guardhouse meant it was a neighbor. Wiping his eyes, he brushed his hands through his hair and glided toward the front door.

  Throwing open the door, his mouth dropped open. "Razer."

  Razer stood in the glowing moonlight, his eyes searing holes in Trenton. "Came I come in?"

  "How…" Trenton gazed around him into the night.

  Razer shrugged. "I was driving in as Dyson was coming out."

  "Come in." His heart aching, Trenton licked his dry lips and for some reason he couldn't look Razer in the eye. Saying nothing, he walked toward the back of the house. "Can I offer you a drink?"

  "Water."

  Without giving Razer an option, Trenton poured them both a glass of whisky and pushed one in his direction. "What's on your mind?"

  "Can we skip the formalities?"

  Trenton smiled. "Always the upfront one."

  "Somebody has to be."

  Trenton looked way. "Touché. You're absolutely right and before you say it, I was at the gallery. I saw you with that man."

  "That man is Blake and I told you about him."

  "It's obvious you care about him."

  "He's been my best friend for years. I didn't lie to you about him. Blake's moving to LA for a huge promotion," Razer toyed with his drink, twirling the glass in aimless circles.

  "I think it's more than that."

  "Damn it! You're as stubborn as I am!" Hissing, Razer moved away from the counter. "When you didn't return my calls, I didn't know what to think."

  "So Dyson came to talk to you."

  Obviously surprised, Razer's eyes opened wide. "Yeah. He wanted me to know that you're concerned about something that happened in my past and worried about my nightmares."

  "I am." Trenton'
s heart hurt. He longed to reach out to him, to take Razer into his arms but everything about this relationship was wrong. For him. For Razer.

  "Don't be. Meeting you and knowing your needs match my own has been a Godsend." Razer closed the distance until they were barely a foot apart. "When Dyson told me that you'd had a similar, horrible experience like I did, then I knew Karma was finally telling me it was time to live again. Then you disappeared."

  Trenton bristled. "He had no right to tell you."

  "Maybe, but Dyson cares about you like Blake cares about me. He didn't tell me any details, Trenton. What it helped me realize is that you might be the only one that can understand me and respect my needs. It's not that Blake doesn't but he knows I'm not in love with him. Like I suspect you aren't in love with Dyson. Right?"

  Trenton rubbed his eyes. "You're right. And Dyson knows that as well which is why he gave me this gift."

  "Then we're in the same boat."

  "Apparently," Trenton breathed. As Razer moved closer, every part of his body screamed with longing. This was no longer about fucking but about sharing his life and his heart with a man he adored. Dare he allow himself to feel this way? Closing his eyes, he tried to figure out the best thing for both of them.

  Tick. Tock.

  "What are we going to do about it," Razer purred as he slid a finger down the side of Trenton's cheek.

  "Um…I don't know." His body shaking, Trenton opened his eyes slowly. Seeing the shimmer of love in Razer's eyes startled him but it was exactly what he hoped for. "Do you have any suggestions?"

  "Let me think" Razer grazed his finger across the seam of Trenton's mouth as he inhaled deeply. "I have a few ideas."

  Capturing his finger, Trenton sucked the long digit as he pressed the flat of his hand down Razer's muscular chest, caressing every ripple. Inching slowly, it was all he could do to keep from ripping Razer's clothes off.

  "I think you get my drift." Removing his finger, he moved the slickened tip past the thin material of his shirt. As he flicked his finger across Trenton's nipple, he sighed. "I want you more than I ever thought I could."

  Chuckling, Trenton pushed the ugly thoughts about their wretched pasts aside and leaned forward, brushing his lips across Razer's. "I want you." His voice a husky whisper, he wrapped his arm around Razer's waist and pulled him into his chest, crushing his lips and forcing his tongue inside Razer's hot, wet mouth. Savoring the essence of the man, he fell into the kiss, their tongues entwining and exploring.

  Razer brushed his hands down Trenton's back, caressing and kneading. Lowering them to Trenton's ass, he cupped both cheeks and squeezed, grinding his hips back and forth.

  Trenton moaned into the kiss, stars floating around his eyes causing him to lose his focus.

  Intense sensations rushed through his body and for several seconds he couldn't breathe.

  Breaking the kiss, Razer palmed and kneaded his chest. "I'd love to make love with you." His voice barely a whisper, he lifted his head slowly and locked eyes with Trenton, a slight smile curling on his face.

  Nodding, Trenton moved back and grabbed his hand, pulling Razer down the hall to his bedroom. For once he wasn't going to think or worry, simply feel and enjoy the power of being in love. Saying the simple word in his mind, joy crashed through his heart sending a shower of tingles to his brain. Could he really be in love?

  Razer chuckled as he broke the hold and yanked off his shirt.

  "Hungry?" Trenton purred, kicking off his shoes and unbuttoning his shirt.

  "Famished. You?" He pulled off his shoes and began unfastening his pants, keeping his eyes pinned on Trenton.

  "Dying." Trenton waited as Razer removed his pants and underwear, blazing a long trail down his naked body and sucking in his breath. He wanted nothing more than to taste the stunning man, tasting every single inch of his body. His blood sizzling and he shook his head as he admired. "You are one hot man."

  Razer sauntered toward him. When they were barely inches away from each other, he unfastened Trenton's pants and pushed the dense material past his hips, allowing gravity to take them to the floor. "So are you."

  As Razer gripped his cock, holding his aching shaft in his hands and Trenton sighed, kicking out of his pants. "Sweet Lord I want you."

  Cupping and squeezing Trenton's balls, Razer leaned forward and licked the side of Trenton's neck, slicing a long trail up to his chin. Nibbling on the underside, he breathed a swath of hot air across his heated skin as he wrapped his hand around the base of Trenton's cock, stroking in deliberate moves.

  Closing his eyes, Trenton fell into the moment of blissful rapture, allowing his lover full access to his body. He let out a strangled breath as Razor licked his mouth.

  "What do you want?"Razer breathed as he slid his tongue down the other side of Trenton's neck until he reached his collarbone. Easing back, he grinned and pursed his lips. "Would you like me to suck you?"

  Trenton chuckled, his voice dangerously dark. "That'll do for starters."

  Dropping to his knees, Razer held Trenton's dick in both hands, caressing and stroking as he gazed up into Trenton's eyes. Lifting Trenton's shaft, he licked the sensitive underside, taking his time as he squeezed and pumped the base. "Feel good?"

  "Dear God yes!" Tipping his head back, Trenton moaned. The man knew how to give good head. Resisting grabbing Razer's head and forcing his mouth over his cock, Trenton placed his hands on his hips and allowed the man to play, to enjoy and to take control.

  "Good." Using his teeth, Razer grazed back up his shaft and darted a series of licks across the slit before sliding his tongue all the way down to the base. Taking a swollen sac into his mouth, he sucked with just enough pressure that Trenton bucked forward, grabbing Razer's head.

  "Shit! That feels good."

  Razer repeated the sensuous move with Trenton's other ball, rolling the flesh around his in mouth, sucking as he stroked Trenton's cock in lazy motions. Lifting his head, he slid his tongue across the tip before taking the blood engorged head into his mouth.

  "Yes." Trenton panted and entwined his fingers in Razer's hair as he slowly pulsed his hips forward. "Take all of me."

  Engulfing Trenton's cock, Razer took his shaft all the way down until the tip of Trenton's dick his the back of his throat. Holding his stance and the base of Trenton's cock with his hand, he began torturing his cock with even strokes.

  "Fuck yyyyyeessss! " Trenton tried to hold in the raging beast but as the first drops of pre-cum floated from his sensitive slit, he began fucking Razer's mouth, bucking forward and backward wildly, his heart racing. As white-hot shards of electric heat sizzled his blood, he growled and tipped his head back, roaring.

  Razer held him tightly, relaxing his throat as Trenton swelled inside. He used his strong jaw muscles to squeeze as he used his hand to clench around the base of Trenton's shaft.

  The effect was too much. Trenton knew he was going to explode too soon. Longing to be inside his lover, he pushed Razer's shoulders. "Stop, please."

  But Razer refused to stop. Moving in a manic fashion, he sucked harder with each pass.

  Trenton tossed his head back, hunger ravaging his body. "No!" Pushing heard, Razer lost his grip and tumbled backward. "I want to be inside you." Holding out his hand, Trenton grinned and gripped Razer, pulling him to his feet. Brushing his lips across his lover's, he turned him around and eased him onto the bed as he climbed on. Hovering over Razer, his arms locked, he lowered his head and kissed Razer's forehead before licking down the bridge of his nose to his lips. Circling them with the tip of his tongue, Trenton sighed.

  Razer smiled and ran his hand around Trenton's shoulders, digging his nails into Trenton's flesh. "Make love to me."

  Trenton growled and eased back onto his haunches as he pushed three of his fingers in to his mouth, slathering them with saliva. "You sure?"

  "More than sure." Razer breathed as he lifted his legs, pulling them back to his chest.

  Trenton nodded and lowered his
head, kissing Razer softly as he slid his wet fingers over Razer's ass. Finding his dark hole, Trenton pushed his fingers inside, pulsing in and out in slow, even strokes. Rising up, he kept his gaze locked onto Razer as he sighed and licked his lips.

  "Being with you is wonderful."

  Razer let out a long breath and closed his eyes. "Yes."

  Trenton pushed his fingers past the tight ring of muscle. Instantly Razer clenched around the invasion, drawing him deeper inside. Trenton thrust in and out, flexing his fingers open and closed as he watched the beautiful expressions crossing Razer's face. Contentment and lust mixed together in a wonderful moment of pure need. "More?"

  "Yes," Razer whispered.

  "How much more?"

  Razer's eyes opened. Unblinking, a slight smile curled his lips. "Everything."

  Trenton swallowed and removed his fingers, instantly placing the tip of his cock to the entrance of Razer's tight bud. Palming the bed beside his lover, he slowly pushed his shaft into Razer's ass, until he was all the way inside. "God you're tight." His body shaking, he held the stance as Razer's muscles wrapped around his cock, pulling at him. "Feel good?"

  "Yes. Ohoh." Arching his back, Razer gripped Trenton's arms, clawing into his flesh. "Please."

  Grunting, Trenton slid his shaft out until just the tip was inside. Every part of him on fire, he smiled and teased Razer, holding still. "What do you want?"

  Razer growled and dug his nails into Trenton's arms. "Fuck me!"

  Trenton gave him a sullen look before impaling him in one long thrust, driving Razer up from the bed.

  "Yes!" Moaning, Razer closed his eyes and hissed, his breath coming in scattered gulps.

  As Trenton plunged into Razer's ass, his actions became more manic, his savage beast fighting to bridge the surface. Never had making love with a man felt this intense. Panting, every part of his body shook from the moments of nearing ecstasy. "I'm not gonna be able to hold it!" He longed for the beautiful moment to continue.

  As if to answer, Razer changed the angle, enabling him to grab his own cock. Pumping up and down on the length of his shaft, Razer grunted as Trenton continued thrusting into his ass.