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  Shane ignored the jab. “What's going on, Susan? Where's Mom?”

  Susan was growing angrier by the moment. Tears sprang to her eyes. “Had you stuck around, you would know, wouldn't you? Do you have any idea how much pain you caused her before she died?”

  Shane nearly collapsed. His breath came in shallow rasps as he processed the information. “Died? Mom's dead?”

  “Right after you left, she started pissing blood and having severe pain in her kidneys. She refused to go to the doctor, choosing instead to put all her time and energy into finding your sorry ass. By the time the doctors found the cancer, it was too late. It had spread too far.”

  Shane leaned up against the wall, fighting back the tears. “I...that's why I'm here, Sis. I'm clean now and have been for a few months. I...I wanted to apologize to Mom – to make things okay between us again. But she's...”

  “Yes, Shane. She's dead and has been for almost a month. She never stopped trying to find you. She never stopped wondering if you were dead. She never stopped regretting not giving you money so you wouldn't leave. You were her only son, and you abandoned her when she needed you most.”

  Shane couldn't hold back the tears any longer. He openly sobbed, but his sister didn't seem to care.

  “You get nothing from the sale of the house and as far as I know, Mom didn't have a will. We'll have to sell everything she owned just to pay her hospital bills anyway, so if you came here looking for money, you're shit out of luck. I think it's time for you to go. I have a lot of work to do.”

  Shane stood rooted to his spot, letting his grief and regret wash over him.

  Susan stared at him. “Get out, Shane. You don't belong here anymore.”

  Shane looked at his sister with tears in his eyes, but didn't say anything as he turned and walked out of the house he grew up in for the last time.

  ***

  Three days ago, Shane was driving down a busy city street, high on cocaine, and going way too fast, weaving in and out of traffic while blaring Alice Cooper over his crappy car stereo speakers. He didn't have a care in the world, and he never saw the vehicle that ran the red light. He didn't realize that if he would have been going the speed limit, the accident never would have happened. The black Chevy truck t-boned him, slamming into the driver's side door, flipping Shane's car onto its roof. He wasn't wearing his seatbelt. Despite an ambulance arriving less than ten minutes later, they couldn't do enough to stabilize him, and now, Shane was dying.

  Coming back to the present, he lay in his hospital bed with his eyes closed. He was having a hard time forming coherent thoughts, and he felt confused trying to remember other details of his life. He couldn't get over how cold he was, and he never realized the act of dying was so cold and lonely. Sure, others were with him, but this was something he had to do all by himself.

  Shane, it's time.

  He didn't recognize the voice, and to him, it barely sounded human. It was deep, guttural, and loud, not like any sound he'd ever heard before. He wondered if this was Jesus coming to take him home. He'd always thought Jesus would have a friendlier voice.

  Get up! Follow the light. You're going to where you belong.

  There was a dull red light shining directly in front of him and he felt himself being drawn toward it. Wasn't the light supposed to be white? He didn't remember anyone mentioning a red light when they claimed to have died and come back to tell their tale, so the red light confused him. His spirit wandered toward the light as his body died. At exactly seven in the evening, Shane was pronounced dead, but he didn't feel dead. In fact, he felt more alive than he ever had, and although it was a great feeling, he also felt a bit of dread and apprehension, feelings he couldn't explain. He looked back over his shoulder and could see the doctors and nurses trying to revive him. His sister was holding his hand and sobbing before a nurse escorted her quickly from the room. He didn't care about that, though. He just wanted to head toward the light. He had an undeniable need to find out what was on the other side.

  Shane made it to the center of the light and stopped moving when he got there. As his eyes adjusted, he looked over to his left and screamed. He tried retreating from the sight, but found himself rooted to one spot. There, in what appeared to be a corner, stood a huge clown, a clown larger and scarier than any he'd ever seen before. The figure stood at least seven-feet-tall and had bright orange hair and a large black, bulbous nose. Its mouth was filled with razor-sharp fangs and its white, red, and blue clown outfit was soaked with blood. Shane couldn't be sure, but he thought the clown's eyes and smile were outlined in blood. Where he expected to see large clown shoes on the creature's feet, he gasped as he saw two hollowed out human heads in their place – the mouths, noses and eyes on the heads cut out to form large circles. The clown figure spoke without moving his lips, and it was then that Shane realized that this was the voice he heard calling him toward the light.

  It's about time you showed up. We expected you days ago. The clown smiled, exposing hundreds of pointy teeth, and the hideous sight made Shane's skin crawl. After hearing the clown speak, Shane couldn't formulate words. He just stood staring at the abomination and knew then that if he'd still been an actual person rather than a spirit, his bladder would have released on the spot.

  What's the matter? Cat got your tongue? The sound of the clown's voice reverberated in Shane's head.

  The clown pulled a small, orange kitten from his pants pocket and sniffed it before placing it against his lips, and it looked to Shane as if the clown wanted to kiss the tiny animal.

  Shane tried to look away but found it impossible. The kitten meowed and struggled against the clown's firm grip and before it bit the kitten's head off, the clown laughed. The sound was enough to make Shane cringe.

  As blood came pouring out of what was left of the cat, the clown crunched down on the head, its teeth making easy work of the small bones, and then it looked at Shane with blood dripping from its chin. The clown ran his long, dark red tongue around his mouth, savoring the flavor of the blood.

  That was fun. Why do you look so shocked?

  Shane finally found his words and when he spoke, he was surprised at the strength of his voice. “Who are you, and where the hell am I?”

  The clown laughed but didn't answer the question. He turned his back to Shane and began walking away, the heads he was using for shoes making disgusting squelching noises with every step he took. Shane could imagine the brains in the heads squishing between the clowns toes as they moved away, and he was powerless to keep himself from following, seemingly gliding along behind the hideous creature. They walked a few feet until the clown stopped and stared straight ahead. Shane heard the screams of children, but couldn't see what was happening until the monster moved out of his way.

  The clown laughed and moved to the right, and the dark space engulfing Shane became brighter, like the lights coming up at the start of a play. He stared open-mouthed at the scene before him, and it reminded him of something out of a horror movie, but somehow he knew they were real. In this...room, or whatever it was, were zombies. Lots and lots of zombies.

  Hundreds of the undead roamed around chasing small children, all of the kids appearing under the age of twelve. No adults could be seen. Babies sat wailing for their mothers, and small children ran around crying and screaming. Shane watched in horror as one woman who was dragging her entrails behind her snatched up a little boy of three or four and took a bite out of his throat. He tried to move forward to help the kid, but found he couldn't. Once again, he couldn't even look away.

  The woman threw the child down on the ground and dropped to her knees beside him. She drove her face into his stomach and began feasting on his insides as he tried to beat her off with his tiny fists. Shaun started to cry.

  “Please. Make it stop.”

  The clown laughed. Again, it spoke without moving its mouth.

  Make it stop? We're only just getting started. This is where child molesters come to spend eternity as children.
Pleasant, isn't it? As soon as they turn into zombies, or whatever the hell you humans call them, they're reborn to live the experience over and over again. It's actually one of my favorite rooms in Hell.

  “Hell?” Shane was shocked. He didn't belong in here. Sure he'd made some mistakes in his life, but who hadn't? Not everyone who fucked up ended up spending eternity in Hell.

  I'm really surprised you weren't smart enough to figure that out on your own. This is Hell. Welcome home. Satan is waiting to greet you, but he wanted you to see all the sights first.

  “Hell? What did I do to deserve ending up in Hell? I'm not a bad person. Why me?” Shane felt like crying.

  Look, maggot. You came into the light. You could have fought it, but no. You were too curious for your own good. You didn't really believe that shit about a bright white light you follow to Heaven, did you? Fucking humans and their stupid religions. God couldn't care less about what happens to you when you die. Satan on the other hand. The clown laughed. He's interested in everyone who leaves Earth. All you puny humans can serve Him in one way or another.

  The clown didn't give Shane a chance to respond.

  Follow me, he muttered, Not like you have a choice.

  Shane opened his mouth to say something but before he knew it, the zombie scene was moving past him and he found himself standing next to the clown somewhere in a room depicting an underdeveloped country. The habitants of the country were skinning live dogs, and each dog's screams broke Shane's heart. He remembered the dog he had as a small child, a boxer named Oliver. He loved that dog. In fact, he loved all animals, and he couldn't stand to see dogs of all ages being skinned alive. Once the dogs were skinned, they were dropped into large vats of boiling water and left there for several minutes. The people performing these heinous acts laughed as the dogs died. Shane couldn't look away, no matter how hard he tried.

  “Can we go, please?”

  Your world is really a shitty place, isn't it? The dogs here can think and reason, just like you. They're former animal abusers, sentenced to live this abuse for all of eternity. A fitting punishment, don't you think?

  Shane finally spoke. “This has nothing to do with me. I'm not a child molester or an animal abuser, so why are you showing me this?”

  The clown ignored Shane's question and this time, the background seemed to fly by the monster and Shane. Before he knew it, he was standing in his living room watching his mom cry. She was talking to someone on the phone.

  This is why I'm showing you this. To show you that you belong here.

  Shane ignored the clown and listened to his mother's conversation. Suddenly, all he wanted was a drink as he watched the scene unfold before him. He missed the feeling of being drunk.

  “He's all I have left. He can't be dead. He just can't be. I can't go through this alone.”

  Silence as his mom listened to the other person.

  “I don't care if he stole from me. He's my son! I love him, and I have to know where he is. He can't be dead. Please, God. Don't let him be dead. What if I die? What if he never knows how much he meant to me?” His mother sobbed into the phone, and Shane imagined the person at the other end of the line trying to say something to console her.

  “I have to go.”

  Pause

  “No, I won't do anything stupid and I'll try to rest, but I know I won't be able to.”

  His mom hung up the phone, put her face into her hands, and cried.

  You really put her through hell. Not only did you steal and sell the only thing she had left of your dad, you made her worry about where you were for years. You're a fucking asshole, aren't you?

  Shane cried. “I...I didn't mean to. It was the drugs and the booze...”

  Bullshit. You can't blame the drugs for what you did to your mother. You intentionally stole from her and made her worry about where you were for years. Don't try to blame the drugs for that.

  “I needed the drugs. They controlled me, but I stopped doing them all on my own. I'm sorry.” Shane cried.

  Shut up. Your excuses don't interest me. We're heading down toward the deeper parts of Hell, so hang on.

  The world sped up around Shane and when it stopped, he was confused. He recognized the apartment he was standing in, but not the woman who stood before him. The woman was young, in her late-20s, but the lines on her face made her look much older. Shane stared at her, trying to place where he had seen her before.

  “Who is she?” he asked the clown.

  You're trying to make me believe you don't remember her? Take a good look, fucker. This is the mother of your child. The woman you left after you raped her.

  Shane was taken aback by the comment. He stared at the woman as recognition slowly crossed his face.

  “Oh my God,” he said, slack-jawed.

  God has nothing to do with this. Do you remember her now?

  Shane couldn't speak. He definitely recognized her now. Her name was Tina and she was his best friend, John's, girlfriend. His mind wandered back to a time when he was nineteen and drank way too much. He was hanging out with some of his friends, and a few of them brought their girlfriends. They spent the night drinking, and after almost everyone had gone to bed, Tina and Shane stayed up talking.

  Their conversation quickly took on a flirty tone, and one thing led to another. Before Shane knew what hit him, Tina was lying on top of him, roughly kissing him and grinding herself against his throbbing cock. She suddenly realized how wrong her actions were, jumped off of him and stood up, straightening her clothes.

  “I'm sorry. If John knew what I was doing, he'd kill me.” Tina looked embarrassed at her actions.

  But it was too late. Shane was past the point of no return, very drunk, and needed to cum right then and there. He stood, walked over to Tina and grabbing her roughly by the shoulders, forced her down to the ground and raped her. Little did he know that the encounter would cause Tina to get pregnant, and she would keep the baby, thanks to her parents forbidding an abortion. Today, Tina was a struggling single mother who often had to leave her five-year-old child home alone because she couldn't afford child care.

  So, stud. Pretty proud of yourself, aren't you? The clown stared down at Shane with a stupid grin on its face.

  Shane was speechless. He simply stared at the woman before him.

  All right, Tiger. Let's go see what the master has planned for you.

  Again, Shane's world went by in a blur, but he didn't seem to notice. He had raped a girl, got her pregnant, and forgot all about her. That kept his mind so busy he never noticed that when he came to a stop, Satan was standing right in front of him. He pushed the thoughts of Tina and her child down deep and looked up.

  Satan wasn't at all what Shane imagined. He was tall, at least as tall as the clown, and pencil-thin. He didn't have horns on his head, but he had large, black wings folded on his back and combined with his glowing red eyes, he was nothing short of terrifying. His clothes and skin were red, and even from ten feet away, Shane could feel the heat radiating from the fallen angel's body. Unlike the clown, when Satan spoke, his mouth moved. He spoke in a booming voice which was so deep and loud, Shane almost had to cover his ears.

  “Well, well. If it isn't Shane Roberts. We've been expecting you since Tuesday. It's about time you finally decided to die. I trust Chuckles here has treated you well?”

  If the situation wasn't so horrifying, Shane would have laughed. “Chuckles?”

  The clown growled and moved toward Shane before Satan put out a hand to stop him. Satan shook his head, and the clown took a step backwards.

  Shane continued. “Satan, look. This is a mistake. I don't belong here!”

  “If you knew how many times I've heard that, you'd come up with something more original. You belong here as much as the rest of the scum here does. More so, in fact.”

  Shane stared before saying, “More so? Surely there are those who....”

  Satan interrupted. “Yes, there are those more deserving of spending eternity in
Hell than you, but you're special.”

  “I'm special?”

  Satan stared at Shane, making the smaller man very uncomfortable. “People who make others worry unnecessarily deserve a special place in Hell. Have you ever heard that expression?”

  Shane cried out, unable to stop himself. “I don't belong here,” he sobbed as he fell to his knees. “I'm not a bad person.”

  Satan raised his voice to be heard over Shane's cries.

  “Get up, you pathetic human! You didn't have any problems raping women or leaving your mother alone to suffer and die, so stand up and take your punishment like a man.”

  Shane slowly got to his feet and wiped his eyes. Satan waited until Shane gained his composure, then handed down his sentence. Satan stopped and stared at Shane before looking back at the clown.

  “I think that in this case, it would be better to show Shane where he'll be living for all eternity, don't you?”

  Chuckles grinned, but remained silent.

  Satan stared at Chuckles for a moment, as if communicating telepathically, before saying, “Get him out of my sight.”

  Chuckles walked away with Shane right on his heels. Shane couldn't help but notice how the shoes, or the human heads worn as shoes, were worn flat on the bottom. His stomach lurched.

  Eventually, the pair stopped. Shane was faced with a pitch black space and wondered what was inside. He felt sick to his stomach and just wanted to get this over with.

  With the wave of a hand, the clown made the room light up. Inside was what looked like a ten-by-ten piece of land, complete with green grass. In the middle of the plot was a deep hole. At the top of the hole, a headstone.

  Go on. Take a look.

  Shane moved over to the hole and peered down. He instantly recoiled and his tears fell once again. He read the headstone:

  Here lies Shane Roberts

  Beloved son and brother

  Go with God

  1995 – 2016

  “No, no, no. Please. God, no. I don't deserve this.”

  Shane stared at the coffin in the hole. His greatest fear was about to come to life, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.