Stephanie Thomas - Lucidity Read online

  Gabe thankfully doesn’t say anything spiteful, and instead, I whisper quietly to Echo, “We should get you back to your room. Gabe will go with me. You can trust him to bring me back.” Slipping my hand into Echo’s non-bloodied one, I calmly face the others and say, “I am going to walk Echo back to his room, and when I return, we will figure out a plan on how to find the leaf.” My eyes meet with Gabriel’s but briefly, a silent plea for him to behave and be patient.

  “Fine. But hurry up,” Gabe huffs and plops back down in his chair, arms crossed over his chest. He’s not staring at me or Echo, but rather at our hands. I feel his eyes on me until the very moment when I step out of the room.

  Echo and I walk back to his quarters in silence. He keeps a hand over his nose, which has continued to bleed, albeit slowly. I know what this means. The servant was right. The plague has spread into the palace. I have no idea if it can effect Seers or not, but I don’t care in this moment. All I care about is the fact that Echo’s mother is dying somewhere in some room, and Echo has come down with a plague symptom. I could lose him, just like he is going to lose her.

  When we are safe inside his room, Echo dismisses all of his servants, and they scurry out like mice in the dark when the lights turn on. I hurry and grab a towel from the washroom and quickly return to his side. Reaching up, I dab the cloth against his face as I look into his eyes. “Hold this and pinch your nose. It will stop.”

  “No, it won’t, Beatrice.” Echo’s words are so stark and naked that the truth of it hurts.

  “Don’t talk like that. It can just be a simple nose bleed, and you will get better, and don’t worry, okay?” The words leave my mouth in one sentence with no room for breathing. I help Echo over to his bed and when he lies back, I cover him with the luscious navy blue sheets. “There you go.”

  Echo stares up at me over the towel, which he still holds to his nose. His icy eyes are desperate and scared, and it’s the first time that I’ve ever seen him look that way. Echo has never been frightened around me. Even during the invasion of the City, he was brave and strong. Relentless. But now, he looks so small and helpless, a victim to something he can’t control.

  I run my fingers through his hair to calm him, then reach with my other hand to take the towel away from his face. His nose has stopped bleeding, for now. The bleeding will become worse, though, and will continue to worsen until the plague has run its course. As I comb my fingers through Echo’s hair, I realize I’m doing it more to calm myself than to calm him. I can’t lose him.

  “You have to find the leaf,” Echo whispers.

  “I know, Echo. And I will.” My voice cracks, despite myself. “I will.”

  Echo lifts his hand and rubs a thumb down the side of my face and over my jawbone. Then, he lifts his other hand and cradles it around the back of my head, drawing me down to where he lies. His lips press to mine, and I drink him in as he kisses me with an urgency that I’ve never felt before. Warmness spreads through my body as Echo draws me into the bed, closer to him. So close to him. Too close to him.

  But I move with it. I go to him. I let him wrap me up in his arms, and when he pushes me back onto the bed, I let him do that too. I kiss him back every time he kisses me, and when he brushes his hand down my middle and rests it on my stomach, I don’t stop him.

  All I can think about is how I might come back, and he might be gone.

  Between kisses, Echo mutters against my lips, “You have to come back.”

  “And you have to be here when I do.” My lips graze against his, barely touching at first, but then he’s kissing me again, and I’m lost inside his every touch. I don’t want him to stop. I don’t want to lose him. I don’t want to walk away from this room and leave him behind, sick and dying.

  But ultimately, I have to. And it’s too important to ignore it for a wash of kisses that will do neither of us any good.

  I gently push Echo away, breaking the connection between us. “I should go now, and you should rest.”

  Expectantly, Echo looks as if I just pulled his whole world out from under him. I roll out of the bed and fix up my robes by brushing my trembling hands over the fabric. My lips are numb and tingle from the needy kissing, and I can feel the warmth that has blossomed inside of me spread like fire over my skin. “Don’t worry, Echo … I will come back. And you can stay in my dreams.”

  “I already planned on it.” Echo smiles, but the smile fades when another line of blood starts to trail down his nose and over his mouth. He quickly grabs the towel and puts it to his face. He apologetically peeks out at me, and I lean over to kiss his forehead one last time. “I’ll send your servants in to attend to you on my way out.”

  “Beatrice?”

  “Yes?”

  Echo pulls the towel away from his face. “Please find that plant.”

  I will. I hear myself say it in my head. I will, Echo. I will.

  But the Outlands are so vast and dangerous, and I have no idea if I will make it back to Aura or not.

  For some reason, I say, “I promise.” Then I hurry and leave the room.

  Gabe, Elan, and Brandon are right where I have left them, and judging by their rather curious stares, I know that I probably look as tousled and flushed as I feel. I clear my throat, avoid Gabe’s gaze, and sit down at the end of the table. “Here’s the deal,” I begin, getting to business before anyone can say anything about my state. “Gabe and I will go to find the leaves. If we find them and return, we will use them to barter our freedom and safe passage back to the City. If we don’t find them or don’t return … ”

  “Then all these Dreamcatchers will die.” Elan taps his fingers on the table. “Part of me doesn’t want you to find those leaves, to be honest. That will be one less problem for the City to deal with. Or maybe they will just fall apart without their queen.”

  “Elan, try to be a little more open-minded. One of them is Beatrice’s husband now...” Brandon reminds not only Elan, but Gabe, who visibly winces at the words.

  “You are wrong. They won’t fall apart. They will fall under the rule of Echo,” I correct Elan.

  “And if he dies?” Elan rests his elbow on the table, a bit too nonchalantly.

  “If … if Echo dies … ” I start, the words leaving me in a whisper. “If he dies, then Aura will probably be turned over to the queen’s advisor. I didn’t catch his name, but I’ve heard from Jamie and Irene that he wishes to cull the Citizens, capture healthy ones, and breed them anew. I can’t let that happen.” I lean forward and put my palms on the table as I regard the three in front of me. “I won’t let it happen. Because even if you hate the Dreamcatchers, which we’ve all been raised to do, we are still sworn to protect the Citizens. So it is as much your job as it is mine to make sure that the queen and Echo don’t perish before we can get back.”

  Elan frowns at me, but thankfully, there’s no smart remark to follow.

  “We will take care of things here, Beatrice. Don’t you worry,” Brandon assures me. Another day in another place, I might have found it to be funny, Brandon standing up and taking some authority over a matter. But right now, I am grateful for his support.

  “Thank you, Brandon.” Drawing in a deep breath, I look back to Gabe, meeting his gaze head on for the first time since I’ve come back to the room. “We should get ready, then. See if we can find some mode of transportation to get to the Outlands.”

  Gabe rises with a nod of his head. “I’m ready when you are, Keeper Beatrice.”

  I give Gabe a look. “You don’t have to call me that.”

  “But I will,” Gabe replies and starts for the door, even if he has no idea where to go.

  With a sigh, I walk after him. This is going to be a long journey, and not only do I have to carry the weight of a hundred of lives on my shoulders, but I have to manage Gabe’s insecurities as well. Maker help me.

  Chapter 12

  Ships come and go from the tarmac, and their thrusters force the air through my hair, which whips around my fa
ce and gets in my mouth and eyes. Even Gabe has to drag his hair out of his face as we wait by a port that sells speeder bikes. Neither Gabe or I know how to ride one of these, but we aren’t about to tell that to the weary Dreamcatcher rental agent, who keeps staring at us in contempt.

  “We are here on orders of Prince Echo himself. He sent us with this.” I hand out a note that has been signed by Echo. It is worth hundreds of Aura’s currency, and the amount is enough to widen the renter’s eyes. I take this as a sign of approval. “So, we can have two bikes?”

  The man nods his head and gestures over to two dirty and dusty speeder bikes. “You can have my best ones, Keeper Beatrice. Just don’t break them.”

  Gabe smirks. “We won’t.”

  I smile as well, despite the heaviness of our mission. “Thank you, sir.” I heft the burdensome canvas backpack back onto my shoulders and start for the bikes. The bike agent tucks his note away in his pocket and happily whistles as he walks back into his office. Now, it’s up to us to figure out how to work these things.

  “How do you think this works?” I grab onto the handles and swing a leg over the seat, straddling it. The ignition button is under my right thumb, so I push it and give it a go. The whole bike shakes under me, then rises, hovering inches off of the ground. “Huh.”

  Gabriel follows suit, but he takes his initiation a step further and twists the throttle. The bike races forward, nearly crashing into a ship of some sort, but Gabe manages to reverse the thrusters before it can collide with the larger, metal object.

  “Gabe!” I hiss at him.

  Gabe laughs and shrugs his shoulders. “What? I’m just trying to figure this stupid thing out, is all.”

  “Well don’t break it before we can even use it.” I look over my shoulder and nod at the end of the port. This section is designated as the launch pad, and the bigger ships use it to take off and over the walls of Aura. “Think we should head out that way?”

  “What way did you come in?”

  “I came in that way, but I was on a ship.” I look about the tarmac and notice a road that leads off to the side and toward the gates. “Maybe we should take the road with the bikes.”

  “Sounds better than being blown away by some incoming metal hunk of crap.” Gabe turns the handles of his bike, then twists the throttle and speeds off toward the gate. He’s far ahead of me in just a blink of an eye, and I’m amazed at how quickly the bikes move.

  I pull my hair back into a pony tail, pull my hood up, open the throttle and speed off after Gabe, who has left behind a trail of kicked up dust and sand in his wake. It doesn’t take long before I catch up with him, and we speed off through the gates, which barely open wide enough for the both of us to pass by the time we get there.

  Just as soon as we are outside Aura’s walls, we are officially in the Outlands, a vast desert space between here and the east coast, where no one but Rogues live. These are Citizens who didn’t make it to the City after the collapse of the nation, Citizens who live off of the land, stealing whatever they can from the very few travelers who pass by. They attack and kill each other, as everything is free game in the Outlands. There are no rules. Civility does not exist.

  In school, we’ve been taught that the Rogues lack the intelligence of those who have made it through to the City. They have regressed into a desperate people who don’t know how to read or write, nor to coexist with too many others. The barrier around the City serves to protect it not only from the Dreamcatchers, but mostly from stray Rogue groups who have a sudden urge to attack. They never win. Their numbers are too small.

  But now, it’s just me and Gabe, and our numbers are much, much smaller than the hundreds of roaming Rogues that are scattered across the Outlands. The odds are against us, and I know Gabe is just as aware of it as I am. Making it back will be a great accomplishment. Failure is not an option.

  As we ride, I notice a shadow that has been following us the whole way from Aura. I look up over my shoulder and notice the raven who has followed me, and keeps following me. The raven is all-knowing and all-seeing. I remember the words from the Institution and look to Gabe to see if he notices, but he’s too busy speeding ahead, darting in the direction of nothing.

  We continue through the Outlands like this for hours, racing against the darkness which blossoms overhead and turns the desert black. Eventually, Gabe’s speeder begins to slow down, and I close the throttle to come to a stop beside him. We’ll only have the speeders until the gasoline runs out, and then we’ll have to trek the rest of it on foot. It’s best we don’t use them for too long anyway, it’ll only draw attention to us, and I’d rather not deal with any Rogues.

  Gabe swings his leg over the bike and his feet hit the ground with a thump. He’s dusty, and when he pulls his glasses off, there’s an outline of clean skin where the lenses were protecting his face.

  I laugh at him, and of course, this makes Gabe frown. “What are you laughing at?”

  “Your face.” I realize that comes out as a whole other insult, then laugh again. “I mean … your face is all dusty … ” I reach up to pull off my glasses, as I’m sure the same effect has happened to me. “See?”

  Sure enough, Gabe laughs as well, then slings his backpack off his back, letting the heavy canvas bag roll on the floor. Inside is our shelter, a tiny tent that is the color of sand. Inside my pack are the provisions and anything we might need to survive through the night. Or nights. So far, I’ve yet to see one plant anywhere, so it’s not looking too well.

  “Do you even know how to set up a tent?” I ask as I watch him pull the collapsed structure out of the bag.

  “Watch this.” Gabe smirks, sets the tent onto the ground, then pulls a string. The thing immediately expands into a tent form, needing no further assembly.

  I roll my eyes skyward. “That’s cheating.”

  “That’s just smart.” Gabe pulls the flap of the tent open and steps inside. I take one last look around at the vast space around us, then duck into the tent as well.

  It’s cozy for two people, barely enough room for the both of us to sleep. Include our packs in the mix, and we’re sardines. Gabe ruffles his hair and dust flies everywhere. Thankfully, he hasn’t put down the blankets yet, or they’d be soiled with filth. Not that it matters, since we are just as soiled as any sheets could be.

  I’m exhausted, and there’s a strange air between Gabe and me. As he goes on arranging our tent for the night, I watch him and run my fingers through my hair to try and eliminate the knots. It’s another small and stupid waste of time, since as soon as we get back on those speeders, it will be knotty again.

  “So, we’ll have to take turns sleeping, I figure. Can’t risk us both being asleep at the same time and have someone sneak up on us.” Gabe naturally falls back into his leadership role, despite the fact that in this moment I am his Keeper and thus lead him. “So, do you want to sleep first or second?”

  “First. You can sleep second.” I am exhausted, and I want nothing more but to dream, if just to see if Echo is okay. If he shows himself to me at all. “Is that okay?”

  “Sure.” Gabe props his backpack behind him so he can sit up comfortably. He has a gun beside him, and I tilt my head, wondering where it came from.

  “You brought that?” I never even thought about weapons, but Gabe, being the fighter that he is, probably thought about it before anything else.

  “I brought two. Did you think we were just going to walk around here unprotected?” Gabe pats the gun like it was a pet. “I’m not letting any Rogue hurt you.”

  I smile at his protectiveness, then lay my head down on his lap to sleep. I want to be close to him like this, since I haven’t been since he fell into his coma. Gabe’s body becomes tense at first, but the longer I settle there, the more at ease he becomes with it. Eventually, he resorts to soothingly brushing his fingers through my hair.

  Silence lingers between us for a long, pregnant moment. Finally, Gabe breaks it by asking the most uncomfortable quest
ion. “Do you like being married to him?”

  I close my eyes and relish the feeling of his fingers raking over my scalp. It sends shivers down my spine, and I shudder. “I don’t know. I’ve only been married to him for a few days.”

  “Wouldn’t it have been nicer if you just said ‘no?’” Gabe’s other hand rests on my hip, and I bend my knees to curl up against his legs.

  “I wouldn’t lie to you. I never have.”

  “True.” He gives me that much.

  There’s silence again, and I visualize a wealth of questions buzzing inside Gabe’s head like a swarm of captive bees with nowhere to go. I wonder which one will break free?

  “Have you guys … had your wedding night?”

  I definitely did not expect that one. I push myself up so I can twist my body around and look him in the eye. “Firstly … that’s not really your business. Secondly, no. And I won’t. I didn’t choose this marriage, Gabe. I did it for you.”

  “Well, I think it is my business in a way.” Gabe reaches out and tugs on my necklace, pulling it free from under my jumpsuit. “I thought that we were more than just friends. And then you’ve gone off and married some Dreamcatcher.”

  “To save you.” It is like he is not listening to me, and I quickly become frustrated. “And we never said what we were. We never really had that talk … did we?”

  He lingers on the answer, which affirms my words. “Still … ” he mutters.

  “If you want to hold Echo against me, then that’s fine. But I want you to remember that I was—am—being held captive by the queen, that she’s using me as a political pawn to protect her kingdom, and that I entered into the marriage knowing that you would be alive at the end of the day.” I rest my head back down in his lap and close my eyes again. “That was all that mattered to me.”

  Gabe’s gentle touch returns, and he combs my hair through to calm me. “Okay, Bea. Okay.”

  I allow myself to drift into a sleep after that, with nothing but Gabe and Echo on my mind. I feel safe where I am, curled up beside Gabe, alone in the world with no city to manage or people to please. It doesn’t take long for me to dream.