Going Too Far Read online

  I did too. I’ve been there – haven’t we all? Insult me, degrade me, abuse me – it’s a great turn on. As long as it’s not for real. I let Robbie carry on.

  ‘So I stopped the cuddling and the caring and lay back and yawned and said I wished I’d gone for her friend: she looked like she’d be a better lay. She stopped sobbing and started listening and I carried on wondering if Becky would be just as much of a pushover. I said I’d really fancied Becky more, with that long curly hair, but seeing as Tasha was obviously a goer it would have been stupid to turn her down.

  ‘Anyway I could see she was breathing harder; her tits were rising and falling, so I sat up and beckoned her towards me. “Open your legs; that’s what you’re used to, isn’t it?” She stood over me and did what I said and I heard a little noise in her throat. “Show me your cunt, slut.” She put her fingers in and pulled it apart and I could see it was creaming nicely. So to cut a long story short I got her to take me in her mouth to make me hard again and we fucked long and slow with me talking all the time and when I felt like I was going to come again I put my fingers on her and she just took off.’

  His eyes had been lowered while he’d told his story but he raised them to mine. ‘Don’t think I’m proud of that, Bliss. No way would I talk like that to a woman unless she wanted it. To tell you the truth it made me feel pretty worthless myself.’

  Men can be so sweet, and so naïve. I put my hand on his arm.

  ‘It was brilliant of you to pick up on the hint. I reckon you ought to be proud of yourself, not ashamed.’ I winked, just imperceptibly. ‘And to be frank I quite like that sort of thing myself from time to time.’

  In fact I’d quite liked that sort of thing in the telling and wanted to hear more later. We would be in Pucon around nine and I decided that as we’d do no more than catnap on the bus, the best move would be to pitch the tent, have a bedtime story and a fuck and then catch up on our beauty sleep and be ready to face the afternoon.

  Relationships between two people change so minutely it’s sometimes hard to grasp until it’s too late that there’s been a subtle shift in balance. Between three it was easier. I hadn’t noticed at first, though as we put the tent up in Pucon I sensed something had altered. Red and Robbie kept up their usual banter but somehow I was excluded; I was the outsider. It was understandable; I’d not been there for a few days and they’d gone round in a foursome with two girls. Not that I thought they’d rather be with Becky and poor old Tasha, but I felt they’d bonded again without me and they weren’t as prepared to open up to let me in as when we first met. That had to change.

  ‘Seems a bit of a waste of time sleeping. Think I’ll leave you two to it and take a look round town,’ said Robbie casually.

  ‘Hang on, mate, I’ll come with you. Bliss is the tired one,’ said Red.

  They were practically out of the tent door. The choice was simple: I could go with them and feel like I was tagging along, or make sure they stayed and got back in the old routine.

  ‘If you guys want to explore, fine, but having got me going telling me about Tasha I want a fuck now.’ I pulled down my drawstrings and knickers together and stepped out of them. ‘Just a quickie, Red. And if you don’t mind, Robbie, would you do me a favour and hold my wrists tight? I don’t think I mentioned I’d got into bondage with Carlos, and Jorge tied me to a table while the Norwegian woman fingered me . . . I just don’t know if I’ll really enjoy it without being restrained now.’

  That did the trick. The tent door was zipped firmly from the inside as I kneeled with my back to Red.

  ‘Robbie, if you could just come round here and hold my arms down, really tight?’ I turned my head over my shoulder towards Red, businesslike. ‘I think I’m ready – are you?’

  As Robbie moved round as though hypnotised and crouched down in front of me I held his eyes with mine and pushed my hand down to my sex. ‘Yeah, I’m wet. Thought so, after your story.’

  I showed him my hand, glistening with peachy juices. ‘Looks like I’m the slut round here,’ I said softly. ‘Now, where were we? You were getting Tasha to wank for you while you told her what a whore she was –’

  ‘I thought we were talking about you liking to be restrained,’ said Robbie, his voice even more throaty than usual. It was tempting to place my wet hand on what I’m sure would have been a completely rigid cock, but that subtle shift in the relationship was a long way off . . . not that I’d ruled it out.

  ‘Right now you’re supposed to be restraining me,’ I ordered. He grabbed my wrists and held them, a little too tight. But I liked it. ‘And you’re going to continue with the Tasha story. Please.’

  The slightly satirical note in my ‘please’ wasn’t lost on him. He smiled and sank on to his knees as well and as I felt Red’s prick nudge at me I leaned forwards and let Robbie take my weight. Slowly the huge heft of my Australian Swede pushed inside me and with my arms braced against Robbie I pushed back against Red, luxuriating in being filled up by him again. I saw Robbie read the satisfaction in my eyes and raised an eyebrow as a starting signal.

  ‘She was shocked at my suggestion that she masturbated in front of me, or she pretended to be. I laughed disbelievingly and told her that a horny bitch like her probably wanked all the time so there was no need to pretend she didn’t know how to do it. She was lying on the sleeping bag and I moved my head to watch her close up for a bit, telling her I’d never seen such a slippery cunt and that her fingers moved to her clit so fast they must have plenty of practice. She was saying, oh my God, over and over, and stuff like, I can’t believe I’m doing this, and I told her to shut up because she knew she wanted it any way she could get it and she was going to have to wait for me. Then I had a flash of inspiration – pun coming up, Bliss – and gave her the torch and told her to fuck herself with it. It’s not a huge torch, but big enough, and it filled her up.

  ‘I kneeled over her and started moving my hands up and down my cock and wondered out loud whether I wouldn’t rather just wank over her than put my dick in her big wet cunt and debated whether to spunk all over her tits or her face, or just to get her to blow me and swallow it. Then, sounding a bit reluctant, I said after all I thought I would fuck her.

  ‘I took the torch off her and rubbered up and lay down and pulled her on top of me, facing away from me as though I didn’t want to see her face, and jiggled her up and down and told her to get on with it. She started moving up and down on me like she meant it, not like the theatrics she’d put on before, and I put my finger on her clit. After a few strokes she started the verbal and I just stuck that torch in her mouth, covered in her love juices, and said that while I didn’t mind fucking her there was no way I was going to listen to her whingeing. What with that and my fingerwork I felt her tense up and she came, so hard I didn’t have to move at all, my cock just responded to her going haywire all round it and I shot my load as well.’

  ‘I’m going to do the same in a minute,’ I said. ‘Give me some finger.’

  My eyes were on Robbie but I meant Red. He didn’t know that, though.

  ‘Which one of us?’ he asked. I wondered if he cared. I wondered if I did but as I said it would be a while before we got to that point, etc.

  Robbie, who had just demonstrated his intuition as far as what women want sexually is concerned, picked up the cue I’d given him earlier.

  ‘She doesn’t give a toss, mate. You do it; I can’t reach that well holding her hands.’ He smiled at me crookedly. ‘You’re right, Bliss. You are the slut round here. I would have thought that screwing one bloke while his mate watches would be enough for you, and it turns out you’re doing a whips and chains number with your smooth little Carlos guy as well.’

  I laughed but it came out all breathy and uneven thanks to Red’s gentle fingering distracting me. Bracing my arms harder against Robbie I pushed back to encourage Red to touch me harder. I wanted more verbal as well.

  ‘No whips, just the chains and corsets and so on – like the sound
of it?’

  ‘Haven’t you ever had enough?’ countered Robbie. ‘Can’t you even go a few days without sex?’

  I shook my head wordlessly. Though I wanted to say no my body was crying out yes and one more scornful remark would do it.

  ‘You’re all cunt, Bliss,’ he said witheringly and that was it, for a moment or three I was indeed all cunt as my muscles heaved so hard my mind suspended itself.

  My arms were suddenly freed and I almost overbalanced, I had got so used to leaning against Robbie. I realised that Red, whom I had practically forgotten about except as the mechanical means to my orgasm, had obviously come as well and had just withdrawn.

  ‘Don’t think for a moment that I meant that,’ said Robbie, with just a trace of anxiety in his voice.

  ‘I’ve got too much brain to think you did. And I reckon you’ve got too much brain to say it if you did. If you see what I mean.’

  We were a threesome again.

  My plan for the next couple of days was to relax by the lake with a book and let the boys get on with the volcano stuff but it was no good; I felt I had to consolidate our reunion rather than let them drift away into Bill and Ted again. So after we explored the town, which didn’t take long, and went into one of the many agencies offering trips up Villarica, I had to say I’d go too. The only respite I got was that, as it was a crack of dawn start and we were still tired despite a post-coital nap, it was put off till Wednesday and we had one great day off with nothing to do but throw stones in the lake and read and talk about sex and world capitalism. I was being allowed to finish my novel before starting No Logo, which Red had promised me wouldn’t be a boring read at all, though frankly I feel that travelling is the time for feeding the mind with the ideas of the great fiction writers rather than feeding it with facts. However as the best I’d been able to find at the last book swap café was a Joanna Trollope couldn’t demur.

  ‘So, this was your first time?’ asked Robbie after I’d been persuaded to describe my introduction to bondage. ‘You know when we saw you with him in Lima you were dressed in black with high boots and gloves; we thought you were just into the Goth look. I wondered what had happened to it but decided you probably dressed different for the city.’

  ‘Women, eh,’ said Red but I knew he was trying to wind me up and ignored him.

  ‘Yep, absolutely the first. And it was on that tour round the city he gave me a taste for exhibitionism as well.’

  I told them about the old man and then thought what the hell, let’s have everything out in the open and confessed to the unknown others in San Pedro.

  They were quiet when I’d finished and I thought, big mistake, I should have left that bit out.

  ‘So really it’s thanks to Carlos that we’re in our little ménage à trois,’ I pointed out. ‘Quite frankly a few weeks ago I’d have said it was really tacky having sex in a tent with an audience, but after he had put me in touch with my latent talent for exhibitionism I went for it.’

  Robbie smiled and put his arm round me. ‘Good thing you did, don’t you think?’

  ‘Oh yes.’ We were smiling at each other and though Red was my fucking partner and sitting on the other side of me my sex muscles skipped a beat as our eyes met. I knew he wanted me, and badly. Maybe at first the voyeurism had been enough or maybe a proper threesome had always been on his agenda; I didn’t know, but right now his eyes were cloudy with desire. And, let’s be honest, I expect mine were too.

  The ludicrous thing was it seemed a bit late in the day to ask Robbie how he managed to get his own release. Did he masturbate in his sleeping bag after supplying the commentary to our sexual athletics? I didn’t think so. Not usually being a fan of bedtime sex, just thrown into it by circumstance, it was rare for me to go straight off afterwards. I usually just tucked up in my sleeping bag, listened to Red start snoring and thought about the day’s events. Presumably Robbie was excited by his own words and our actions, so what did he do with his hard-on? I wished I’d asked before, but tore my eyes away and changed the subject.

  ‘Now we’ve had my little true confessions I reckon it’s time you shared your Becky experience with us,’ I said, turning to Red.

  He shrugged. ‘Not much to tell.’

  ‘Don’t you want it later, back in the tent?’ asked Robbie.

  We were definitely moving on to dangerous ground there. I don’t know how that came across to Red but it seemed to me that if he were the chorus then Robbie would be the one involved in the action, and at this stage in the game that really did have the potential to end in tragedy. Robbie’s eyes had just told me that that was what he wanted, but not yet.

  ‘No, now.’

  Robbie got up. ‘OK, I’ll leave you to it.’

  ‘Don’t say you’ve heard it before?’ I grinned. So it was true about men being worse than women when it came to discussing their sex lives.

  He laughed. ‘No way! I’d just rather forget about those two and move on. Anyway I want to get down to the internet café and see if there’s anything for us.’

  ‘You sure, mate? Don’t you want me to come with you later?’

  ‘No worries. You two stay here and I’ll bring back some sambos for lunch, OK?’

  It still took me by surprise how many words in Australian English were, first of all, abbreviated and then embellished with a final vowel. I’d got used to brekkie and the constant lament that dinner wasn’t cooked on the barbie, but this was a new one on me.

  Becky started out to be as dull as Tasha was exciting. Red’s storytelling skills were far short of his friend’s and rather than a full-on fantasy fulfilment like Robbie and Tasha it was just a boring vanilla sex story.

  ‘Then on the second night she said, “You can fuck me up the arse if you want. I’ve got some lube.” ’

  ‘Christ, talk about be prepared. I bet you did.’

  ‘Yeah, you bet. Do you –’

  ‘Not any more,’ I said firmly. ‘And it’s not negotiable. So, how was it? Was it your first time?’

  He nodded, looking slightly embarrassed. I wondered if men were ever likely to be mature enough to admit that there are aspects of sex they hadn’t explored.

  ‘So tell me about it!’

  He opened his mouth and closed it again. Had something awful happened? Had he not been able to get it up once faced with his first experience of anal sex? Surely – a worrying thought came to me – he hadn’t neglected to use a condom?

  The answer was none of the above. He’d loved the preparatory lubing and fingering, though not as much as the actual penetration. I’ll gloss over the usual how tight it was, the undercurrent of the transgressive, etc. He told her it was his first time – I almost applauded – and she got off on that and kept asking him what it felt like, how different it was to a vagina and so on.

  ‘So I asked her what it was like for her, and didn’t her cunt feel empty? And she said, “Oh yeah, why don’t you go and get your friend and I’ll take you both at once.”’

  ‘Jesus! Why didn’t Robbie tell me this before?’

  ‘Because I didn’t get him.’

  ‘Oh.’

  Just when I was thinking how predictable men were, he dropped this bombshell. Can you believe it? How many men do you know who would turn down a chance like that? Maybe Red was more of a puritan than he appeared from his willing participation in sex as performance art. Must be that Scandinavian blood.

  ‘Sorry to disappoint you.’

  There was an edge to his voice. I shrugged. ‘It doesn’t matter to me. The main thing is, you enjoyed it?’

  ‘That put me off a bit. I felt like I wasn’t enough. Anyway I pushed three fingers up inside her, thumbed her button and she came and so did I. The next night I told her she was an insatiable little slut who wanted it both ways, and gave her my torch.’

  He was avoiding my eyes. No wonder.

  ‘So Robbie had been telling you about what he did with Tasha and you copied it?’

  ‘Too right. It did the t
rick.’ He looked up at me, slightly defensive. ‘We don’t have to share everything, OK? Just because we share you doesn’t mean to say I want to give him a go at every other girl I screw.’

  ‘You don’t share me, Red. We have a relationship where we all play our part. I’m not a toy you pass around.’

  ‘Sorry, wrong choice of words. I just get a bit pissed off sometimes. My part in our relationship is just to provide the cock and the finger. The rest of me might as well not exist.’

  What could I say? Only the day before I’d felt the same thing. Red had noticed that Robbie and I were connecting mentally and he was jealous. I felt a pang of guilt, not only towards Red but also on the part of poor old Becky, who’d made a generous offer only to be punished on my behalf, not that she would have noticed.

  No wonder I had felt left out; Red had feared he was being excluded and so he had pulled Robbie in closer to leave me in the cold.

  I hugged him. ‘I don’t want you to feel like that. But if you and Robbie changed over – well, that doesn’t seem right, does it? Him fucking me and you watching?’

  ‘No,’ he admitted. ‘I guess I’ve been a bit stupid.’

  ‘Not really. I don’t want to come between you and Robbie, though. There’s no reason why I shouldn’t book into a hostel and we can just meet up during the day if you like.’

  He moulded his hands round the cheeks of my arse and pulled me towards him. I felt him hard against me.

  ‘I don’t want to stop having sex with you. Unless you do.’

  I looked up at his blue eyes. They were happy again though just a bit anxious that I’d turn him down. I shook my head.