Stephanie Thomas - Lucidity Read online

  Gabe stands facing away from me, though his shirt is off, and I can see the muscles in his back flex as he tries to work the tunic over his broad torso. His clothing isn’t as accommodating as my own, and even when he has the tunic pulled down all the way, I can tell it’s too tight on him. The hem of his piece falls below his knees, and a pair of loose pants has also been provided for him, I notice, as he steps the rest of the way out of his jumpsuit. I quickly turn back around to look elsewhere. My cheeks flush with heat.

  “Probably just as stupid as yours looks, judging by that tone,” Gabe laughs, and I hear the rustling of fabric as he probably tries to slip the pants on.

  I smirk. “Ready to look at each other?”

  I can hear Gabe’s smile in his words, “This looks ridiculous.”

  “Yeah, well. As long as it gets us our plant, I don’t care how stupid I look in the end.” I adjust the stole that I’ve wrapped awkwardly around my shoulder and across my chest. “Okay. Turn around.”

  We both turn around, and Gabe stands there dressed in colors too bright for his normally pallid self. I’m so used to seeing him in black and gray that it comes to me as a shock when I am met with the obnoxiously vibrant color that makes up Gabe’s outfit.

  But Gabe is staring at me in a whole other way, one that encourages a blush to my cheeks, which are now burning as pink as the accents of my sari. “Wow, Bea. You look beautiful.”

  “Thanks.” I glance around to anywhere that isn’t Gabe. “Now what?”

  “I guess we wait.” Gabe still stares at me, and I’m still trying to avoid his gaze.

  “Are you two ready in there? These Rogues are getting restless, and I hate when my people are upset,” Moses calls from somewhere outside, and I nod to Gabe, signaling to him that we should be on our way. If anything, it will get him to stop staring at me, and I won’t feel so much like a bright orange ball of blushes and shyness.

  “Yeah, we’re ready.” Gabe puts his hand on my lower back and ushers me outside. The simple touch is enough to make the fluttering in my stomach feel that much stronger, and I go with him easily.

  Gabe drags the tent flap open and Moses is just outside, ready to show us off. He smiles almost lecherously at me when I appear, and the people outside all gasp in unison at the sight of the pair of us. I hear someone make a comment about our eyes, and I wonder if mine are still glowing from my previous Vision. Wouldn’t that just make their day? If we are to be the sideshow, we may as well be a good one and give them something to look at.

  “What you see here before you are Seers, straight from the City. These are the people who have decided that they make the rules, the ones that have driven away the Dreamcatcher people for being different than they are,” Moses explains, holding a hand back to us as he introduces our history. Or, what he thinks is our history.

  “That’s not exactly true,” Gabe mumbles, but it’s loud enough for Moses to pick up, and the older man turns to face us.

  “Oh no? And how have you been taught? Why did you drive the Dreamcatchers away if it wasn’t because they weren’t like you?”

  “Because they were too powerful for their own good, and they could have wiped us all out if we didn’t get rid of them.” Gabe speaks louder, meaning for his words to reach the others who are standing nearby. They exchange glances with one another, and I can read the confusion on their faces.

  “That is a unique way of putting it, Seer Gabriel. It’s a matter that we can argue later with each other and not in front of these fine people. For many of them, this is the first time that they’ve ever seen a real Seer before. Look at how they look at you.” Moses’ hand sweeps from us to them, putting the Rogues on display now.

  I look over the many different faces, most of them dirtied and bronzed by the sun, and I commit them to memory. One day, when I get back to the City, I will remember these people and think of a way to right their wrongs. Clearly, they look at Seers as being somewhat of an enemy, just as we’ve been taught to look at them as being outcasts and not worth our time or resources.

  “I guess we can talk about it later.” But Gabe doesn’t sound very interested. He’s always been very invested in his roots as a Seer. Entertaining a conversation about how the Seers were in the wrong is probably not something he truly wishes to do. “So, how long are we going to stand out here?”

  Moses smiles patiently at Gabe and lifts his chin to address the crowd again. “Today, I come to you with a mission. These two Seers are looking for a remedy for some illness that has taken over their people. They say they’ve Seen a plant … would one of you two describe it?”

  I nod my head and speak up, sharing with them the limited details about this elusive plant that we must find. “All I Saw was that it had purple leaves that presented themselves to the sun and curled up when the sun was not present. I don’t know where it is, exactly, or much else about it, but I do know it is out here somewhere … which is why we came this way.”

  “I am tasking you with finding this plant, and when you do, you will not only be awarded personally, but we will ransom the plant and the Seers back to the City for resources that we’ve needed for a long time. Rations, clean water, all those other things that keep our community well-kept.” Moses’ words are met with a general murmur that ripples through the crowd, starting at the front and fading off somewhere toward the back. The Rogues all look at each other with a renewed light in their eyes. Not only have they come to see this Seer show, but now they have a chance to make something of themselves, and possibly bring a reward to their whole camp.

  I find it to be cruel in a way, especially when there’s no knowing how long it will take them to find the plant, or if they will find it at all. Moses has successfully managed to fill his people with a fragile hope, and I can clearly see the way this inspires them by the way their faces light up, aspirations high.

  My stomach knots at the thought of failure, and as Moses continues to talk, projecting his voice over the masses of people, I can only think of their suffering if they should fail.

  And it will be my fault.

  Chapter 15

  A couple of days have passed by in which we’ve done mostly nothing. Each day that passes is another day that I worry about if Echo is still alive. I can only hope that he doesn’t succumb to the plague as quickly as his mother did, and that the Dreamcatchers are doing all that they can to keep him alive until I return. If I return.

  Gabe and I are only allowed outside of our tent when we are being escorted, and usually that is to dinner and back. The camp has been bustling with a renewed energy since Moses’ promise to reward the one who finds the mysterious plant that we need to bring back to Aura. The dirty faces that we looked out at not so long ago seem brilliant and dingy at the same time, and in the gazes of these Rogues there’s a furious hope that they are going to be the ones to find the plant and become the savior of their camp. I’ve been hoping that someone would know something more about the plant in my Vision, because I don’t know how much time we have to waste on scavenging miles of arid wasteland in pursuit of it. It might be a game to the Rouges, but I have a whole city of Dreamcatchers and Citizens to save, not to mention Echo.

  In a little while, we will be heading to dinner, as usual. I am dressed in a sky-colored dress that is like nothing I’ve seen before. Attached to the fabric are tiny little mirrors that reflect whatever light hits them, turning me into a glittering spectacle for Lee to leer at. It is what he seems to do best lately, much to Gabe’s dismay. A few times, I have thought that Gabe would fly off the handle and let Lee have it for looking at me the way he does, but thankfully, Gabe’s kept his temper in check. It’s important that we don’t get ourselves in trouble here. We are prisoners after all. They don’t need to keep us alive if they don’t have to.

  I pull my hair back in a sleek ponytail, since the tents are humid, and the weight of the black tresses tends to make me miserable. Looking in a cracked mirror, I make sure I’m put together nicely and decide that I am
ready to go just as Lee calls to me from outside the tent flaps. “Are you ready, my dear?”

  Maker, I hate him.

  “Yes.” I call back and begin my walk to the door. It feels different without Gabe here, but they took him out of the tent some hours ago with the intention of showing him off to the camp. Sometimes, we go out together, and the people come to stare at us, or yell at us, or curse us for what we are. Most of the time, though, we are walked out one-by-one, probably so that the danger of both of us getting hurt at one time is lessened. The Rogues have so far not acted violently toward us, but I can tell that they are strung tight, and they’ve been waiting most their lives to get their hands on a Seer to show them exactly what they think about their so-called exile.

  Gabe will be at dinner too, and that’s the only reason why I step out of the tent and let Lee grab me by my wrist. “There’s my lovely girl.” He smiles at me and it makes my insides tighten. “How do you like your dress today? You look like an evening star.”

  I yank on my hand, pulling it out of his grasp. “I can walk on my own,” I mumble, ignoring the compliment. I might look like a star, but I feel like a doll that they’ve been dressing up for their own amusement. I know that is what they are doing, I can see it in the way Moses fills with delight when he sees his two little Seer puppets all dressed up and at his command.

  “As you wish, darling.” Lee and I walk the short distance to Moses’ tent in silence, and as soon as we get there, he pulls open the flaps and a warm rush of rosemary-scented air wafts from the inside. There are Rogues who stand around the inside of the tent holding serving trays and pitchers, their skin slick and dripping with sweat from the unbearable and unrelenting heat of the desert. Gabe is seated on a cushion in front of a table that sits low to the ground. He is wearing baggy, light-fabric pants that match the color of my dress. He doesn’t wear a shirt, though, but instead has been adorned with a thick, gold chain necklace that hangs about his neck and looks heavy and uncomfortable.

  At the head of the table, Moses sits on his own plush cushion and motions for me to have a seat on the one that is situated to his left side, with Gabe seated to his right. Lee shows me over to my seat and once I lower myself onto the pillow, he takes the place next to me and sits uncomfortably close.

  “How are my two little Seers doing today? I hope the heat has not been bothering you too much?” Moses claps his hands twice to signal the start of dinner, and all those who were standing around before become animated and begin to fill our glasses with wine, or dump some questionable-looking food onto our plates. It is a testament to the fact that the Rogues truly do not have much as far as resources go, and though Moses might collect all sorts of dated objects from a world that we’ll never know again, that doesn’t mean he has the stores of food and other necessities needed to keep his people fed and well.

  “Fine,” I reply simply as I watch a girl about my age discard a spoonful of some sort of meat onto my plate.

  “Just fine?” Moses tsks, taking up his gold goblet with the inset jewels. He motions to me with the cup, then looks at it and smiles. “Do you know where this came from?” he asks us both, then turns it around in his hand, gems sparkling from the light of the hanging lanterns set around the inside perimeter of the tent.

  Gabe looks at me for a long while, then looks back to Moses and obliges his question with a simple, “Nope.”

  “Well, let me tell you a story of the past.” Moses sips from the goblet and sets it back down on the table. “There was a time when the world was so divided that no matter where you went, people were all of different religions. Here, on this land we live, there were many types of people with their own beliefs.”

  “We have been taught about religion at the Institution,” I remind Moses.

  “Yes, yes. I am sure you’ve been ‘taught’ about many things that aren’t quite the truth in your Institution. I want you to listen to my truth, though, so do behave and don’t interrupt.” Moses fixes me with a look that suggests if I speak up again, he won’t be as nice to tell me to be quiet. “As I was saying, there were many people with many beliefs, and these beliefs fragmented us as a nation. Everyone wanted to be right, everyone wanted to point fingers at the other person and tell them that they were wrong. And as the years went on, it became worse and worse until eventually it began to fall apart with the rest of the world.”

  Lee’s chewing is loud and obnoxious and fills the silence after Moses’ little story. I’m unsure what this has to do with the cup, but eventually Moses begins to speak again, and Lee’s chewing is drowned out.

  “This is called a chalice. It is from an abandoned church we found during our wanderings. They used to fill this with wine during their religious ceremony and drink from it.” Moses laughs at this, finding humor in something that I don’t quite understand. “Can you believe it? This … golden cup with all these gems … I am sure it was worth a lot of money back when it had some meaning. You could probably feed a whole house of people for months on the profit from this thing, but instead, they kept it in a church and drank from it all to put on a show for those who followed that faith.”

  “And now look,” Lee cuts in, gesturing to Moses and the chalice. “It’s worth nothing. Just a pretty something to look at.” He glances to me. “Just like yourself.”

  “I am hardly a goblet.” I narrow my eyes.

  Gabe smirks at my reply, then reaches for his own glass to down all the wine that has been poured for him. His patience is growing thin, I can tell, and if drinking some will help calm his nerves, I am thankful then for the wine.

  “No, you are not a goblet, Seer Beth. But what we are trying to say here is that like this chalice, which was once important to someone, you Seers will also fade away and become nothing more than people like us. You will lose your importance, and people will scoff at how much you could have done when you had the chance, but never did.” Moses taps his fingers on the golden chalice and extends his hand, gesturing to my plate of food. “Eat. You’ve hardly touched your plate.”

  I can’t even think about the food on my plate. What if what he is saying is true? Are we not doing enough? Are we not helping as much as we could be, and will it be too late by the time we realize this? I look through my lashes at Gabe, who is pushing his food around on his plate with his fork, not eating it. How can we eat with this burden on our minds? Someone here has to be polite, though. Someone here has to keep us from being dragged into this circus.

  I shove a fork-full of the mystery meat into my mouth and chew on it with a blank face. It’s salty, too salty, but I suspect they have to make it that way to keep their rations preserved.

  “So, are you two a thing?” Lee asks as I chew away at my food.

  Gabe looks up between Lee and myself and frowns slightly. “What do you mean?”

  “Are you two together or something? I can’t quite figure it out. What do you think, Moses?” Lee gulps down some wine from his glass, and just as he puts it down, one of the servers comes over to refill both his glass and Gabe’s.

  “Seers aren’t allowed to be ‘together.’” Gabe looks at me when he says this.

  “Oh no? Why is that?” Moses cuts in this time, leaning forward in anticipation for the answer. “Seems like sort of a nonsense rule.”

  Gabe runs a hand back through his greasy, dark hair and stares up at the top of the tent for a moment. I’m sure he’s trying to find a diplomatic way to state why Seers can’t be together, but I also know that he doesn’t believe in the reason why either. While Gabe and I have been best friends since we could remember, it’s just recently started to become more, and that was going against the rules all within itself. “Well … we aren’t supposed to be together because … ” He looks back at me again. “It’s forbidden by the Institution.”

  Moses laughs and slaps a knee with one of his hands. The gold bracelets he wears around his wrist clash together, clicking against each other as they move back and forth. “Well, we know that, Seer Gabe, but
surely there is a reason as to why it is forbidden?”

  “It is because,” I start, trying to save Gabe from the question, “in the past, when Seers were allowed to … court … each other, there were consequences that resulted from their unions. New Seers would be born, their powers too great for one body, and they would die before they became of age. So, to end the cycle of Seer children constantly dying, the females were sterilized, and relations have been forbidden within the Institution.”

  All the females except for the Keeper and her daughter. Except for me.

  Gabe’s eyes don’t leave me, and it is as if, for the first time, he is realizing that I am one of the ones who haven’t been sterilized. He drinks from his glass for a long time, and I look down at my lap, hoping the conversation will pass.

  “Well, it doesn’t seem to have stopped you two from having feelings for each other. How have you managed to get this far without being caught?” Moses motions for a serving girl to refill Gabe’s glass just as soon as he puts it down.

  “Very carefully.” Gabe watches the girl who is refilling his glass and avoids my gaze all together.

  Lee points at Gabe and laughs. “So it’s true! You do have feelings for Seer Beth.” Laughing some more, Lee slaps the table with his hand and everything on it jolts and rattles in place. “So we have a pair of rebel Seers on our hands, it seems, Moses. They aren’t so much different than we are.”

  “Very interesting indeed.” Moses seems to muse over this new information, and I immediately ask myself if Gabe has made a mistake in admitting as much to them. “Well, isn’t that something? Two little seeds of revolution waiting to be planted back in their City. But do you think they’d actually try to make a difference? To push a change?”

  “Well, maybe they will think about it on their way home.” Lee finishes the food on his plate and holds it up in the air. It isn’t long before one of the servers comes around to collect it, and his hands fall back onto the table, holding it by the edges. “When they take the plant back.” He nods toward the back of the tent, as if indicating that the plant is somewhere back there. Have they found it already?