Raspberry Tart Terror (Murder in the Mix Book 30) Read online

  Lemon gasps, and I shake my head her way.

  “No one is busting my kneecaps.” I offer her the shallow assurance.

  I’m pretty sure messing with the corpse of a crime boss’ niece warrants something a bit more theatric in nature, like slowly immersing me into a vat of acid. One thing is for sure, Jimmy Canelli will try to get some mileage out of it. Offing a once reputable judge might just be the ticket he’s looking for in order to elbow his competitors out of the way when it comes to respect and credence.

  Meg gives a bored blink. “Follow me, Judge Baxter.” She turns toward the crowd before her. “Dead man walking,” she shouts, and the crowd parts before her.

  “Just a second,” I say, pulling Lemon into my arms. “Hang out here with Noah and Carlotta.”

  “No,” she doesn’t hesitate to protest. “I can talk some sense into him.”

  Carlotta steps in. “I’m the one you’re gonna need on your team, Sexy. Let’s face it. One look at what I got, and I’ll have Jimmy Canelli sending you home in a limo.”

  “Try a hearse,” Noah doesn’t mix words. Not that he’s wrong. “I’m coming with you.”

  “None of you are coming with me. Noah, buy Lemon something to drink. I’ll be fine.”

  Meg leads the way, and we land at a table not too far from the stage where Jimmy himself is seated with a crowd of girls swarming him, wearing nothing but thongs and pasties.

  No sooner do I take a seat than that harem of his takes note, and each one of them stops in their tracks as they sigh in my direction.

  “Girls.” Jimmy snaps his fingers, and the women disperse like birds.

  Jimmy Canelli has a thick head of silver hair, a well-fitted suit, and the smile you might give a dying man.

  And to think, without the Canelli factor, tonight was shaping up to be darn right perfect. I will forever cherish Evie’s heartwarming words. And equally so, Lemon’s. We should be out together as a family, celebrating the wonderful jobs they did pouring their hearts out to a room full of strangers. Instead, I’m here about to have a new one ripped to me by a mob boss. I don’t remember my life being so filled with drama and trauma. I’d like to think it could only go up from here, but seeing the trajectory of the past few years, I’m not so sure.

  “Judge Baxter.” He nods as he stares me down with those serious eyes. “Here we are, face-to-face. And you know who’s not here? My niece, Florenza Angel Face Canelli, God rest her soul. And if it weren’t for a ditch digging golden retriever, she wouldn’t be in a proper grave neither.” He sniffs hard. “How’s freedom suiting you?”

  “I like the air out here.”

  He chuckles, that intense stare of his never leaving mine.

  “So why’d you do it?” His shoulders jerk. “I wouldn’t have figured you for a necromancer.”

  “I’m not.”

  “Again”—he rests his elbow on the table and leans in hard—“why’d you have to yank my niece out of the morgue? What did she ever do to you? Did the kid deserve to be tossed in a ditch? Where’s the justice in that?”

  “There isn’t any.” I take a deep breath. “I’m afraid I don’t have any answers you want to hear.”

  He continues with that dead stare. “So you did it.” He nods. “You realize now that you admitted it to my face, you’ve started a death train not even I can put a stop to.”

  “He’s innocent!” Carlotta wails as she lands next to him in a heap. And within a hot second, both Lemon and Noah are ensconcing me on either side.

  “I did it, Jimmy,” Carlotta confesses. “I had to do it. Flo’s ghost came back from the great beyond and made me. She wouldn’t let me get a wink of rest until I yanked her body from that filing cabinet they had her in, and then I buried her in Foxy’s backyard.”

  “Good grief.” Lemon sinks in her seat a notch, and I’m tempted to do the same.

  Jimmy pulls back to get a better look at the woman by his side, and judging by that look on his face, he’s convinced she’s nuts.

  “First, you choose Luke over me and now this, Cadillac?”

  Noah leans in a notch toward Lemon. “What’s with Cadillac?”

  Lemon shakes her head. “It’s Carlotta’s mob nickname.” She gives a measured blink. “You don’t want to know.”

  Carlotta gags and sputters. “Luke Lazzari took me to a back alley and plied me with cheap whiskey. What did you ever do for me other than tell me I had the face of an angel and eyes you could see our happily ever after in? You treated me like a kitten. That man treated me like a junkyard dog, rough and rowdy, tossing me a bottle of the good stuff when I sat up and begged. All you ever gave me were diamonds, fancy dinners, and the promise of a beachfront vacation home in Sicily.”

  “Carlotta.” Lemon presses her hand to her chest. “It sounds as if Jimmy was treating you like a princess!”

  Carlotta scoffs. “You say princess, I say prostitute. We all know what you wanted, Jimmy.”

  The mobster straightens. “You were giving it to Lazzari for free.”

  “Because he was honest,” Carlotta hisses, and I have feeling she’s not going to do a lot to help my case.

  Noah groans as he thumps his fingers over the table. “Jimmy, between you, me, and the wind, Judge Baxter here wasn’t to blame.”

  “It was me,” Lemon blurts the words out before Noah or I can protest. “It was all my idea. You see”—she winces—“I guess you could say I had a sneaking suspicion that Florenza wasn’t going to be so hot in the casket they were trying to push off on her, or the hairstyle, or the dress they were planning.”

  “Who’s they?” Jimmy tips his head to the side, suddenly interested in the nuts and bolts of this nutty conversation—even if it is the truth.

  Carlotta waves Lemon off. “Don’t listen to my Lot Lot. She’s got a baby munching on her brain. She’s getting all the facts mixed up. Angel Face’s ghost was talking to me about how she couldn’t stand the thought of being shoved into a cheap, gaudy casket. She wanted something top-of-the-line. And those so-called friends of hers that were planning her last look under the sun? They were gunning to make her look like a clown in that casket—that cheap casket. Flo wanted nothing but the best for her big sendoff, and I made sure she got it. Flo was thrilled how it turned out when all was said and done. Casket? Hair? Clothes? And even the venue where her big to-do was held was all hand-selected by your feisty niece. She wouldn’t let up one bit until I met every last one of her demands. And you know I’m not strong enough to carry a body out of the morgue in the middle of the afternoon, let alone at midnight. I needed to enlist Mr. Sexy Muscles over there. Flo was all wrapped up in a body bag. Sexy didn’t know who or what he was stealing. All he knew was that I needed a hand, and he was right there to give it.”

  Jimmy jerks his head my way. “This true, Judge Baxter?”

  “More or less,” I tell him.

  His chin bobs back and forth. “So you’re a true-blue loyal friend to Cadillac here, aren’t you?”

  Carlotta gives a spastic nod. “He’s my ride or die, Jimmy. I don’t know why he’d move heaven and earth, and a dead body or two for me, but he’s proven himself faithful to me time and time again.”

  “I know why.” Jimmy shoots me a look that could slit my throat before he takes up Carlotta’s hand and kisses it. “Because no man, no matter how rich or powerful, could resist your charm. And neither can I.” He swings his eyes back my way. “You really stepped up for this beautiful creature. I commend you for that.”

  “Oh, thank God.” Lemon lets out a breath she was holding. “For a second there, I thought you were going to kill him.”

  “I am.” Jimmy shrugs. “But I’ll give you the mercy of letting it come as a surprise. There’s nothing worse than listening to a man beg for his life right before he meets his maker. Don’t worry, Judge Baxter. Because of your loyalty to Cadillac, I’ll be loyal to you. I’ll make sure it’s quick—a shot to the heart.”

  A croaking sound emits from Lemon.
/>   Noah wraps his arm around her. “That’s not happening, Lot.” He growls over at Jimmy, “Nobody’s going down with a shot to the heart. Look, your niece was dead. He didn’t kill her. But Lottie here? She brought your niece’s killer to justice. She caught and apprehended them herself. You should be thanking her, not threatening to gun down her husband. The two of them are having a baby. And a baby needs its father.”

  The muscles in Noah’s jaw pinch tightly. And I’m pretty sure it has something to do with the fact he momentarily took himself out of the running as that baby’s father. It’s more or less a first. Noah has been walking around with a proverbial bullhorn, shouting from the rooftops that the baby Lemon is carrying is his.

  I’m impressed with how far he’s willing to take this charade.

  Jimmy takes a breath and shifts in his seat as he examines Lemon.

  “A kid, huh?” He nods to Noah. “When Judge B gets pushed out of the way, would you mind stepping in and giving that kid the father it deserves?”

  Noah inches back. “That’s not the point.”

  “Yes or no?” Jimmy thunders.

  “Yes,” Noah says with an incredulous look on his face. “Of course, I would. In fact, I plan on being there for it anyway, but that’s not what this is about. Look, you’re not killing the judge. And if you do, I’ve got a weapon, Jimmy. I know everything about you and this dicey club you run, and every illegal shtick you’ve got going on behind the scenes. You will not get away with killing that man. It’s not happening on my watch. You will pay, and I’ll be the one there to collect.”

  Jimmy’s jaw moves side to side. “So you’re saying I need to kill you first.”

  Lemon tosses her hands in the air. “Oh, for Pete’s sake.”

  “Nothing’s happening to Noah.” I pull her in, land a kiss to the top of her head, and steal a moment to take in the scent of vanilla clinging to her. Breaks my heart that I couldn’t promise her that nothing was happening to me. “I’m the one you want, Jimmy. I don’t have a single good defense for my actions. Not one way to build reasonable doubt in your mind. I did what I did. Guilty as charged.”

  Jimmy purses his lips as he examines me. “You manned up. I like that. You got a good one here, Carlotta Junior.”

  Lemon closes her eyes a moment. “Well, if you don’t mind, I’d like to keep him. I’ve got news for you, Jimmy.” She says his name with a bite of attitude, and I can feel the temperature go up in the room. “If you harm one hair on either of these men, you are going to have the wrath of God all over you, and I will be the instrument that delivers it. You think your little turf war with the Lazzaris is getting unmanageable? I’m going to make that look like a cakewalk. You will rue the day you ever thought to pull a trigger on either of them. And I won’t make it easy on you, Jimmy. I’m not going to romance you with the thoughts of a shot to the heart. I’m going for something with flair. And guess what?” She leans forward as much as that baby in her belly will allow. “I’ll make sure you suffer. Just know this, you will never know the level of hell you’ll plunge my child and me into if you take away its father. You wouldn’t do that to us, would you?” She cradles her belly with her arms. “You’re not heartless, are you?” Her chest pulsates as she looks his way. “But if anything happens to either of them, I’ll know exactly how heartless you can be.”

  Carlotta sniffs back tears. “That’s enough with the dramatics, Lot Lot. Foxy, why don’t you take her to the bar and buy her a stiff one?”

  “Carlotta.” Lemon’s voice pitches.

  “All right, make it a virgin.” Carlotta motions for them to leave and Noah eventually gets Lemon to step away as he navigates her to the bar. “Now let’s talk dirty.” She pulls Jimmy in by the tie and I cringe to see her do it. “How about a pound of flesh in exchange for Sexy’s life?”

  “No,” I tell them. I look Jimmy Canelli right in his wicked eyes, and I don’t back down. “Nobody pays for my sins but me. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a pregnant wife to tend to. I believe she has a craving for some fried chicken.” I rise from my seat. “I’ll keep an eye open for the impending ambush.”

  Carlotta clucks her tongue. “I wouldn’t lose sleep over it. I’ve seen Jimmy’s men in action. You’ve got nothing but the best when it comes to your execution. They’re so slick and quick, you’ll still be standing and lusting after Lot Lot long before you realize you’re dead.”

  “I feel better already.”

  I make my way over to the bar.

  In a way, Carlotta’s words do bring on a consolation of sorts. I’d love nothing more than for my last thoughts to be of Lemon, for Lemon to be the last thing I see before I close my eyes one last time.

  “Everett.” Lemon’s face is rife with worry as she turns my way.

  The phone in her hand chirps and she looks down and gives a hard blink.

  “It’s Evie.” She looks up at Noah and me. “She says her life was just threatened.”

  “By whom?” My heart thumps hard at the thought of anyone hurting my baby girl.

  Lemon takes a deep breath. “By Verity Prescott herself.”

  Noah

  Country Cottage Road is inundated with a large number of cars, none of which belong here, all of which are infiltrated with girls and women of various ages. And those willing to brave the inclement weather are standing on the front lawn of Lottie’s new rental, holding up signs that read #TeamHotJudge, #TeamHotCop, and #TeamLeftovers.

  I park the van in the garage and entomb us inside with a flick of the button. No sooner do we get into the house than the banging starts at the front door.

  “This is insanity,” Lottie says as she peers out of the window and the sound of screams comes from the other side of the glass.

  The house is lit up bright as a jack-o’-lantern, and I’d hate to point it out, but the windows that line the dining room have no coverings.

  Everett sighs as he looks toward the barren windows. “We should put up sheets.”

  “Sheets?” Lottie looks physically ill at the thought. “The curtains I ordered should be here in a few days. I doubt anyone is looking through those windows. They’d be trespassing if they could see in.”

  “I’ll test that theory.” Carlotta heads over to the nearest window and lifts her sweater, flashing the unsuspecting crowd. And sure enough, the sounds of retching and howls of disapproval can be heard.

  “Point proven,” Lottie says. “I’ll get some sheets and excavate Evie from her room. Can’t wait to see what Verity has to say now,” she belts that last part out with marked anger.

  I watch as she disappears down the hall before stepping over to Everett.

  “All right, now that Lottie’s out of earshot, there are a few things I think we should discuss.”

  Carlotta scuttles up. “The fact her fun bags have blown up to the size of watermelons?”

  “No.” I inch back at the thought.

  Although, I’ll admit, I’ve noticed. Leave it to Everett to have Lottie to himself when her body is primed for maximum fun. Not that she wasn’t fun with me. And certainly not that I would reject her for having a far more diminutive body. I’d take Lottie in any configuration that she would allow.

  Carlotta grunts, “It’s because she hogged that whole bucket of Pickin’ Lickin’ Chicken to herself on the ride home, and she polished it off before we hit the driveway. I thought it was a case for concern myself. What do you think, Foxy? Should we stage a poultry-based intervention?”

  “No.” A dull laugh bumps from me as I shake my head at this older, zanier version of the woman I love. “I was thinking we put together a baby shower for her.” I nod over at Everett. “Specifically you.”

  Everett doesn’t bother letting me know how he feels with words. Instead, that dark frown says it all.

  “You think I should organize Lemon’s baby shower?”

  “Yes.” I give a hard nod his way. “You need something to take your mind off of things.”

  Carlotta shrugs. “You
’ve got a bullet coming to the heart, Sexy. Maybe losing yourself in diaper pails and rattles isn’t the worst idea.”

  Everett gives a measured blink. “I’m one step ahead of you. I talked to Miranda this afternoon. She says she’s already on it. Lainey, Meg, and Keelie are helping out, too.”

  A croaking sound emits from Carlotta. “What about me? Didn’t anyone think to ask if I wanted to be included in on that good time?”

  Everett pulls out his phone. “Actually, Miranda mentioned that she was trying to get in touch with you. She said you blocked her calls.”

  Carlotta straightens and gags. “The woman gave me no choice! She kept wanting to know insider secrets on how I made the Vermont’s best-sellers list. She wants me to give her writing tips. She wants me to look over her work. I can’t just go blabbing all my best-kept secrets to everyone out there, or soon every writer in Vermont will be on that best-sellers list and it won’t mean a thing.”

  “I’ll bite,” I say. “What’s your secret?”

  “Whiskey.”

  “Good to know,” I say. A rustle comes from down the hall from the room that will be the nursery, and I look over at Everett. “When’s the baby shower?”

  “Three weeks.”

  “Three weeks?” I inch back. “That’s next month. Why the delay? Lottie’s due next month, too.”

  “She’s due at the end of next month,” he says. “Miranda thinks there will be plenty of time. Besides, she was having a hard time choosing a venue, so I told her she could have it here or at the bakery if she needed to. She’s not sure she can book the B&B.”

  Carlotta snorts. “Three weeks, eh? I’ll tell you why they delayed it. That buys Miranda three extra weeks to try to hack into my laptop. The woman is relentless.”

  “Carlotta.” My cheeks flicker. “I hardly think Miranda poses a cyber threat to you.”

  “What do you know?” She steps in close. “I bet you hardly thought Sexy posed a cyber threat to you, and now look who’s been sentenced to a life without fun bags?” She leans in another notch. “Worse yet, someone else is playing with your fun bags.”