The Darkest Summer Read online

  ‘Which way, boss?’ Callum asked, breaking the tense silence that had taken over the car.

  ‘We can drive into the countryside a bit more and check out some of the small hamlets,’ Vince said. ‘I know you’ve mentioned you’d like that, Hazel.’ He gave her one of his winning smiles. She beamed, giving me a sideways glance that contained all the smugness I would have felt if I’d been on the receiving end of his attention. I knew we were acting like children, but the stakes were high, as far as we were concerned.

  He squeezed me gently to him. ‘And as for you, beautiful girl, what can I show you?’ He winked at me and my jealousy seeped away.

  ‘I’m sure Mimi doesn’t know anything about the Highlands,’ Hazel said, once again staring out of the window. ‘Let alone the best places to visit.’

  ‘Then maybe we should educate her,’ he said. ‘What do you think, Mimi?’

  I tried to keep the excitement out of my voice. I was surrounded by mountainous scenery, it was glorious, and I was in love. Could life be any better?

  ‘Callum,’ Vince said. ‘Drop us off and leave us for an hour.’

  ‘Yes, boss.’

  Vince directed his attention at me. ‘Take Hazel to find a little tea room somewhere while I take Mimi for a walk.’ He winked at me.

  ‘Thanks, Vince,’ I said, not taking my eyes off Hazel.

  ‘Stop calling me Vince. Call me Vinnie, we’re close friends now.’

  Without any warning Hazel’s arm shot out at me, her fingers stretching towards my face. I flinched just in time for her to miss clawing my eyes. She grabbed hold of my hair and yanked. ‘You bitch,’ she screamed.

  I could feel her tearing my hair out by the roots and snatched her fist with both hands and pinched, digging my nails as deep into her skin as I could manage. ‘Let go, you cow.’

  ‘Hey, what the hell is this all about?’ Vinnie yelled.

  Callum grabbed her as Hazel’s other arm flayed towards me in an attempted punch.

  ‘Right, that’s enough,’ Vinnie shouted, his voice cold, not inviting argument. ‘Let go of her hair,’ he said slowly. ‘Now.’

  She locked eyes with him, opened her mouth to say something, then closed it. Letting go, she grimaced at the sight of my blonde strands entangled in her long fingers. Reaching out of the window, Hazel brushed her hands together to rid them of my hairs.

  I rubbed my head vigorously. ‘That bloody hurt,’ I whined, mortified.

  ‘I said, that’s enough,’ Vinnie said, his tone quiet, yet menacing. He moved slightly away from me, the coolness of the space between us devastating me.

  ‘Callum, pull over,’ Vinnie ordered.

  I chewed my lower lip to stop from arguing. The car slowed and slid over to the side of the road.

  ‘Right, you get out and sit in the front,’ he said, pushing my bottom away from him. ‘Hazel, you slide in the back with me. We’ll have no more cat fights. I’ve got business to attend to tonight and I don’t need you two acting like a couple of spoilt kids.’

  I couldn’t believe how quickly she launched herself out of the car. Hazel pulled open my door and held her arm out. ‘Stop wasting time.’ She winked at me as if she’d planned this to happen.

  I slunk out of the car, miserable and wishing she was back at home. I was going to have to find another place to live, I decided. I couldn’t spend time with someone who wanted the same things I did, it just wasn’t working. I heard her giggle, hating the thought that he’d replaced me so easily. It was a stark reminder he didn’t belong to me at all. He never really had. Why then couldn’t I shift the sensation that I somehow belonged to him?

  ‘This is beautiful,’ Hazel cooed from the back seat. ‘It’s exactly how you described it to me the other day,’ she murmured, letting me know they had spent time alone together.

  I was determined not to show how upset I was. If he wanted to play games then that was fine, but I had a few games of my own to play.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  2018 – Oakwold, New Forest

  Sera

  After a day working on my stall at the village market, I finished packing the enamel signs I hadn’t managed to sell and drank the rest of the bottled water I’d taken with me. Grateful to be shaded from the sun, I crouched down and carefully arranged the stock in the box, so none would be damaged on the way back to the studio. It was fine to have them artfully aged, but I didn’t need them to be unsaleable. Satisfied with my efforts, I folded the tops of the box over and wove the four cardboard leaves together to hold the top closed.

  ‘Good sales today?’

  ‘Henri.’ I smiled, not thinking to hide my delight at seeing him standing holding a large baguette and a full shopping bag at the other side of the stall.

  He smiled, the damaged side of his face pulling back slightly more than the perfect side. ‘You are happy to see me?’

  I tilted my head to one side, pressing my lips together, hands on my hips and pretended to think. ‘Yes, I am,’ I said, having forgotten my annoyance with him. ‘Where have you been the past few weeks? If you had a phone I could have called.’

  ‘I am waiting for one to be set up at the farm, but the phone company, it takes many weeks.’

  ‘I hope you’re getting an answerphone like other people?’

  He contemplated this idea briefly. ‘No need. You are the only person who will telephone me.’

  ‘Or not,’ I teased.

  ‘Pardon?’

  My English sarcasm was lost on him. I studied him. Maybe it wasn’t.

  He walked around to join me. ‘I do not understand.’

  ‘Hmm, I’m not so sure about that,’ I said enjoying the cool grassy smell of his clothes. ‘How come you’re out and away from your farm?’

  He stepped back, pointing at his watch. ‘I ’ave something I must do before I can go home. You will meet me at the farm in one hour, yes?’

  I was too intrigued to argue, so nodded. ‘Okay.’

  He glanced down at the box of signs. ‘I will put this into your car.’

  ‘It’s fine, I can do it,’ I argued half-heartedly as he bent down and lifted it up and started to walk to my car. It wasn’t such a big box, but it was heavy. ‘Are you sure you can manage?’ I asked before thinking.

  He immediately stopped and turned to face me. ‘I am capable of more than you suppose, Sera. Please, do not assume otherwise.’

  I couldn’t miss the hurt on his face. ‘Idiot,’ I mumbled, unable to believe my own thoughtlessness. ‘Of course,’ I said quickly. ‘Sorry.’ I raced ahead of him and opened the boot of the car, watching as he lowered the box into the awkward space, just about big enough to take it. ‘Henri,’ I said, embarrassed. ‘I…’

  He stood upright and stared at me, raising a hand to stop me saying anything further. ‘Enough.’ He began walking away, his footsteps laboured where only moments before his whole demeanour had been light.

  I ran to catch up with him. Taking him by his arm I held on to him and when he didn’t stop I stepped in front of him, so he would have to move around me to get past. ‘Look, I know you’re capable of whatever you put your mind to. I only asked because I care.’

  His scowl softened. Then as if remembering why he was so cross, his expression darkened again. ‘It’s good to have a friend.’ He held his hands out. ‘I know how I look, but I do not need to be reminded how I am.’

  I wanted to cry. I had offended him, deeply. ‘Henri, please.’

  Before I could utter another word, he put one hand at the back of my head and bending down, pressed his lips hard against mine in a kiss. The shock of what he was doing passed instantly as I forgot my surprise and surrendered to the exquisite sensation.

  Eventually he stopped, leaving me wanting more. We stared at each other, both adjusting to what had just happened between us. ‘Do not see me as an invalid,’ he said, his voice catching slightly.

  I hadn’t expected this. Then again, I hadn’t ever contemplated us kissing. ‘Henri, I…’r />
  He exhaled sharply. ‘It is okay, we are friends?’

  I nodded slowly. I wasn’t sure I could be happy having him simply as a friend after that kiss. It had ignited something in me that I hadn’t experienced since kissing Marcus for the first time. I couldn’t find the right words and stared at him silently, thoughts racing through my head. I’d been single by choice since losing Marcus. I was almost used to not having him in my life. This kiss changed everything, especially the equilibrium of my long dormant emotions. First Leo, spending time at the house getting used to being a part of my small family. I enjoyed his company, more than I’d ever expected to, but Henri was different. He was a friend, but now I realised he could be more than that, to me at least.

  ‘Shall I still meet you at the farm?’ I said eventually.

  ‘Yes.’

  I sighed with relief. ‘Good.’

  He took me by both elbows and bent his head down towards me. ‘I am sensitive, but I am not a fool. You ask me if I am okay because you have concern for me.’ He kissed the tip of my nose. ‘I will see you in one hour.’

  He walked away, shaking his head. I wasn’t sure if it was because of what I had said, or his reaction to it, but I did know at that moment I would rather he kissed my mouth. I touched my nose, as I watched Henri walk away. He was certainly complex. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to work him out.

  * * *

  Still shaky after my encounter with Henri, I drove to my studio to drop off the unsold signs. It had been another long hot day and I was relieved Mum had offered to look after Katie for me while she learnt her lines. She had yet again split up from Paul and I wondered if this time it would be for good.

  I drew up alongside the studio and parked the car. Stepping out, I spotted someone through the window. My heart pounded as I cupped my hand either side of my face on the glass to block out the sun and try to get a better view. Squinting, I stared into the darkened room. The only light was through a small window at the back in the tiny kitchenette. I couldn’t see anything. I watched for a little longer, feeling a little foolish for my paranoia.

  Stepping back, I retrieved the front door key from my pocket and unlocked the door. I pulled both sides back to let out some of the dank air and freshen up the space a bit. Opening the boot of the car, I took a deep breath before reaching down to manoeuvre the box out, cursing the depth of the area.

  ‘Need any help?’ A familiar voice asked in an amused tone.

  Startled to hear Dee’s voice here in Southampton, I stood up too quickly and cracked my head on the edge of the opened boot.

  ‘Ouch, shit.’ I rubbed my scalp tentatively. ‘What are you doing in town?’ I looked around to see if she was alone.

  ‘Leo dropped me off a while ago. He’s taken Ashley to buy sandals. I thought I’d see how well I remembered the place and try to find your studio.’

  Irritated to have my peace shattered, I couldn’t tell if she was joking, or not. ‘Help me with this and I’ll show you around, if you like?’

  We bent down and took a side each. ‘Blimey, this is heavy,’ she groaned, her face reddening as she walked backwards into the darkness of my studio.

  ‘Let’s put it on here,’ I said, nodding towards the metal table where I carried out most of my work. ‘I’ve only really popped in quickly to drop this off,’ I said, not wanting her to get used to being here.

  ‘I’m sick of this heat,’ she said, fanning her face with one of my small posters. ‘It’s oppressive. I don’t remember it being this bad when I was a kid.’ She wrinkled her nose.

  I wiped my forehead with the back of my hand. ‘They say it’s going to reach the mid-thirties tomorrow.’

  Dee groaned. ‘I wondered about offering to help at your stall today, but it was too hot.’

  ‘It’s fine,’ I said, relieved she hadn’t come. ‘You did well to find this place.’ I knew from the first few times I’d come here how confusing the back streets were to navigate.

  ‘Not sure how really,’ she laughed. ‘In fact, you could give me a lift home. I’m shattered. Coming into town wasn’t a clever move today, even some of the tarmac on the roads has shifted under the pressure of the heavier vehicles.’

  I nodded, recalling seeing melting tarmac on my way here. I walked through to the kitchenette and poured a glass of water. ‘Want one?’

  She nodded. ‘Yes, please.’

  I handed her my drink and held a second glass under the running tap. I grimaced. ‘The water’s warm, I’m afraid.’

  ‘No worries, I’m thirsty as hell, so anything will do.’

  What had she been doing? I wondered. This wasn’t the sort of place you simply walked by. There was nothing else around the area apart from smaller terraced houses and storage units. ‘Won’t Leo be expecting to pick you up from somewhere?’

  She looked at me as if I’d asked her when she last exploded into millions of pieces of glass. ‘I’m not a complete idiot.’

  I sipped my drink. ‘I didn’t mean to insinuate you were. It’s just that, well—’ I wasn’t exactly sure what to say next. ‘Didn’t he wonder what you wanted to come here for?’ There, I’d said it.

  She smiled at me. ‘You want to know, you mean.’ Without waiting for me to disagree, she shrugged. ‘Is it so strange I might want to find out where my best friend spends so much of her time?’

  Put like that, my curiosity did seem a little odd. ‘No.’ My head was starting to throb. I rubbed my temples lightly, willing the pain to ease.

  ‘So, why ask then?’

  I drained the last of the water in my glass. It was too hot for a confrontation. I couldn’t wait to get her away from here. This was the only place I had left that she hadn’t invaded. I needed her to go. I held out my hand to take her glass.

  She passed it over slowly. ‘You don’t like me very much anymore, do you?’

  Should I lie? I considered her question for a nanosecond and something snapped. ‘You haven’t given me much reason to be fond of you.’

  Dee’s shoulders slumped. ‘I suppose not.’

  I rubbed my eyes before folding my arms across my chest. I was tired of the constant drama that Dee had brought to my home. This was my exclusive space that she had chosen to come into and it gave me the courage to confront her.

  ‘Why did you leave fifteen years ago?’ I asked, not caring that I was being blunt. ‘And why have you come back now?’ A shadow crossed her face, but she had asked for it. I wasn’t ready to give up trying to discover the truth behind her extended visit. I still wasn’t sure if any of Leo’s tale was based on truth. ‘What happened to you that was so bad? You left your home without packing any toys for your little girl?’

  She didn’t say anything for a bit, then when I was about to have another go at her, she gave me a pointed stare. ‘Your marriage was perfect, or so your mother insists. Mine wasn’t, so you’re not in a position to judge me.’

  ‘When exactly were you married?’ I asked, trying to sound a little friendlier to hurry her along. I washed the glasses and put them away in the small cupboard, eager to finish this nonsense and go to be with Henri.

  ‘I was eighteen; desperate to leave home and live my life my way.’ She puffed out her cheeks and shook her head. ‘He thought I was someone to vent his frustrations on. When I decided I’d had enough of his shit, he battered me. I was pregnant at the time.’

  I closed my eyes at the picture in my head. ‘Dee, that’s horrendous.’ I leant against the worktop, surprised by her bluntness and concentrated on hiding my shock. ‘What about Leo?’

  ‘He was away.’ She looked relieved. ‘I hate to think what would have happened if he’d come home sooner.’ She stared at her feet. ‘Or if he’d stayed away longer.’

  I didn’t quite understand what she meant, but didn’t interrupt to delay leaving the studio.

  ‘He came to me wanting to know why I hadn’t answered any of his calls.’ She sighed. ‘He found me pretty messed up. We spent time by the coast while my
bruises faded and then came here.’

  I imagined Leo’s horror at arriving at Dee’s home and find his sister in such a state. It wasn’t the same story he had told me, but the main gist I got from them both was that Dee had been physically as well as mentally abused by someone she’d been involved with. It wasn’t surprising then that she seemed so different after all the things she must have suffered in the years since we’d last been together at the farm. I suspected her version was probably a little closer to what had really happened than Leo’s.

  ‘At least the baby was okay,’ I said, hoping I didn’t sound patronising.

  ‘What?’ Dee snapped, as if she didn’t understand what I’d just said.

  ‘Ashley,’ I said. ‘At least she was okay.’

  She opened her mouth to speak, closing it again without answering. Crossing one ankle over the other, she studied the toes of her trainers. She slammed one hand down on the metal table.

  I’d wasted enough time listening to her confusing stories; I grabbed my car keys. ‘Come on, I thought you wanted to go home?’

  She followed me to the door. A part of me was curious about Dee’s lost years, but she had changed so utterly I wasn’t sure how to be with her any more. I couldn’t wait to deliver Dee back at the house, shower, change and go to see Henri. He was another mystery, but one I was determined to unravel.

  Life must have been very dull here before these people came into my life, I decided. Dull, or simply peaceful? I wasn’t certain which.

  ‘Leo’s got a soft spot for you, did you know that?’ she asked, as if she could sense I was thinking about another man.

  ‘Yes.’

  Her face reddened. ‘I think you should leave him alone.’

  I wasn’t sure why we were having this conversation. ‘Why?’

  ‘I don’t want my brother getting hurt,’ she said simply. ‘He’s a good man.’

  I pulled the right sliding door closed. Then, standing back waiting for her to leave, I did the same with the other side, locking up. ‘I think that’s between me and Leo, don’t you?’