Crashing Into You Read online

  I tilted my head back, gazed up at the sweltering sun. I took in the silence.

  For about one more minute.

  A group of eight college kids showed up to the right of us, just a few yards away. They dumped their bags and beach towels on the sand, and started playing a volleyball game—girls versus boys. I didn't recognize three of the girls. I did, however, recognize Michelle.

  She saw me right away, waved, and ran over to us, rudely ditching her game.

  “There goes the quiet,” I whispered.

  “Huh?” Evan asked, finally putting his notebook down.

  “Hey guys!” Michelle skipped up to us and stopped in front of Evan. “What a coincidence it is bumping into you here!”

  “A coincidence indeed,” I said, under my breath. I glanced at the strangers surrounding the volleyball net. Michelle had made friends quickly.

  “Sydney, what do you think?” She showed off her new pixie haircut, and I shifted my gaze to the top of her head. The hair was cut so radically short that from the back she might have been mistaken for a boy.

  “Oh, very nice,” Evan said.

  I brought down my sunglasses. Even with the new look, she still could have passed as Melanie's twin sister. But it was an improvement, to be sure. “It's pretty,” I said, trying to sound genuine.

  “You guys want to join our volleyball tournament?” she asked. “We just started.”

  I didn’t rush to answer her question. Instead I looked up and down her body. It was sickeningly perfect. She wore a black two-piece bathing suit, with the top part so slim her medium-sized breasts were nearly falling out. Her skin had no imperfections, not even in her thighs or hips. Her belly button ring was small and silver, and shined the sun into my eyes.

  I pulled the sunglasses back up, forced a smile, and said, “Thanks, Michelle, but not right—”

  “That sounds great,” Evan said, interrupting me, as he jumped to his feet. “I needed a break, anyway. Syd, do you want to come?”

  My mouth hung open. “Uhh, no, I’m good.”

  “Okay. Be right back. Watch my stuff.”

  Watch his stuff? Was I his mother? He raced over to the volleyball net and shook the hands of the other boys and girls, who were probably all freshmen at LMU. I closed my eyes and tried to relax, tried to clear my head. But my thoughts kept going back to Michelle. That impeccable body. Her sweet demeanor. That face Evan loved that was ripped away from him forever… only to magically return at the end of the summer.

  I darted my eyes toward Evan. He joined Michelle’s team, even though it was all girls. He quickly scored two points back to back, and slapped Michelle a victorious high-five. She patted him on his lean chest, then whispered something in his ear. He nodded, and they both laughed.

  I gritted my teeth. Pulled my sunglasses down again. I needed the sun to shine into my eyes so I would go blind, and not have to see their little flirtations.

  Later that night, I wasn’t the one having trouble concentrating in bed; Evan was. I got on top of him, and he tried his best. But nothing was taking shape. Crickets were enjoying more sexual activity outside on the grass.

  “Are you okay?” I asked. He had never had a problem getting it up before.

  “Yeah, sorry, I have a lot on my mind. Give me a sec.” He sat up, kissed me hard on the lips. Still nothing.

  “Evan, we don’t have to if you don’t want to—”

  “No, no. I do.” He pushed himself to the back of the bed and said, “Here, you want to try something?”

  I tapped my hands against his shoulders, and gave him a soft peck on the nose. “You didn’t steal one of Lukas’s sex toys, did you?”

  He laughed, and shook his head. “No. Here. Get on your knees.”

  Evan slipped out from under me and crept up from behind, like a quiet predator. His dick pressed against me, and when he kissed the back of my neck, he got instantly hard.

  “What the hell are you doing—oh, whoa.” He entered me from the back, and started thrusting into me.

  “That feel okay?” he asked.

  “Oh, that feels amazing.” My breathing intensified. I started licking the back of my upper teeth. “Evan... don’t stop…”

  He kissed my neck and my shoulders, then ran his tongue along the upper half of my back. I smashed my hands against the wall, moved my body in motion with his. He rocked me back and forth, faster and faster. For two minutes. Ten minutes. I let him.

  “Yes! Yes!” I shouted. “Oh, that feels so good!”

  “Oh my God!” he screamed. “Oh... oh fuck—”

  Evan let out a loud shriek, then collapsed against my back. He took a few deep breaths, and rolled to the other side of the bed.

  I clenched my fists in disappointment—I had been just getting started—but I was happy, at least, that his tools were still in working order.

  When he headed home an hour later to cram for his big test, I got dressed and stepped out to the kitchen. Lukas was seated on the center of the sofa watching not Meryl this time, but Sandra. He was rubbing his lenses down with his white t-shirt.

  “Oh, hey,” I said, and took a sip from an opened water bottle.

  “Hey.” He loudly sniffled, and put his glasses back on.

  “Sorry, I didn’t know you were out here. Were Evan and I too—” I shut my mouth, and stepped closer to him. “Lukas... are you crying?”

  “Yes. It’s just so romantic. She was his boss, and he was her assistant, but they still couldn’t help falling in love.”

  “Oh. The Proposal, right?”

  “You know it.” He pulled his blanket up to his chin. “Oh, look. This is my favorite part.” He mouthed along with Ryan Reynolds, as he professed his love for Sandra Bullock.

  “Didn’t this movie get bad reviews?” I asked.

  “Oh, who gives a shit about reviews? I love this movie.”

  I shrugged, and leaned up against the sofa. “My film teacher cares. The next movie we’re watching is called Vertical, or something. It’s directed by Alfred Hitchcock.”

  “Shh,” he said. “Now they’re kissing.”

  Lukas could really get into movies, but why was he getting so involved in one like this, and with Robert not around? I sat next to him and focused on his face, not the film. “So, is Robert here?”

  “No,” Lukas said.

  “Oh.” I hesitated. “Is everything all right with you guys?”

  He finally broke from his daze, grabbed the remote, and turned down the volume. He tossed the remote at the table, but it missed and hit the carpet. “Well... I might have told him today that we needed some time apart.”

  “You told him what?” I didn't know whether to scream or cry.

  “We didn't break up or anything. He just... he was getting so needy.”

  “He was getting needy? Lukas. I’ve spent lots of time with you two these last couple months. Robert’s not needy.”

  “I wanted more time to myself, that's all. Needy isn't the best word. Clingy, that's the one. He's just been so—”

  I put my hand out. Stopped him mid-sentence. “Look, since I’ve known you, all you’ve ever talked about is finding a boyfriend, wanting a relationship. You found, literally, the perfect guy. And now you’re gonna screw it all up?”

  He scooted closer to me, rested his head back against the couch. “Well, like, since our first real date was on a Monday night, now he’s insistent we go out every Monday. But with school starting I told him how busy things were gonna get, that we might not be able to do that every week, and he got all mad at me!”

  I tapped my fingers against the back of his neck. “Maybe you didn’t say it the right way?”

  “No, I said it fine. I like him, I do. I’m just worried he’s gonna smother me.”

  I took his hand out from under the blanket. “Lukas.”

  He stared at me. “Sydney.”

  “You need to turn off the TV. You need to go into your bedroom, and call him. And after you say hello, and how are you, you n
eed to tell him that you’re sorry.”

  “I don’t think…”

  “You like him, don’t you? You just said so yourself.”

  “I do.” He took a long, agonizing pause. Then he bit down on his tongue, and sighed. “No, you’re right. I'm being stupid.”

  He looked at the TV screen. The credits were rolling, real fast so the next movie could get started.

  “Oooh!” Lukas said, his eyebrows raised. “While You Were Sleeping is coming on next!”

  I snatched the remote from the floor and turned off the television.

  “Hey!” he said. He pouted, like a three-year-old.

  “Go. I'm serious. Call him right now.”

  “All right, all right.” He pushed himself off the sofa, pulled his sweatpants up just enough so I couldn’t see his butt crack. “So I heard you and Evan going at it. Sounds like things are still good?”

  I punched the side of his leg, playfully. “You were listening.”

  “I was not. It’s just these walls, they’re so thin.” He tried to hide his smile, as he walked to the kitchen. He brought the tea kettle to the stove and started heating it up.

  “What are you doing? I thought you were calling Robert.”

  “I will, in a second.” He took a mug out of the cupboard and set it on the counter. He walked back to me, grabbed one of the sofa pillows, and sat on the carpet. “So you and Evan are having sex a lot, huh?”

  I chuckled. Lukas was never one to hold back. “We're doing fine.”

  “Just fine?” he asked.

  Silence followed. I looked at the black screen, and said, “Okay, yeah. It’s been pretty great.”

  “You guys just do stationary? Or have you tried any new positions?”

  My jaw dropped at that one. “Lukas! Come on, I'm not gonna tell you that.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because. It's personal.”

  “I’ll tell you what Robert and I did the other night,” he said, boasting a cheesy grin.

  I shook my head fast. “I'm not interested.”

  “All right. Suit yourself.” He looked away from me, and I looked away from him.

  I quickly turned back. “All right, fine, what did you guys do?”

  “Ah-ah-ah. You first.”

  I tapped my fingers against my knees, in annoyance. He was just going to keep asking and asking. “We've tried a couple things, nothing too crazy. We did it doggie-style for the first time tonight.”

  His eyes lit up. “Wow! Doggie-style? Really?”

  “Mmm hmm. It was Evan’s idea. It felt really good, actually. I'm kind of sad it took me this long to try it.”

  “Nice.” Lukas nodded his head, like I had said something profound. He looked away, again. “So he did you in a position where he didn’t have to see your face.”

  I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. The tea kettle started singing across the room. Lukas walked back to the kitchen and poured his tea.

  “Time to call Robert,” he said, and headed back toward his bedroom. “Wish me luck!”

  “Hey, wait a minute—”

  He slammed his door, and I heard him start chatting on the phone with Robert just a few seconds later.

  I wanted to scream at Lukas for what he said. But I couldn’t.

  Because I knew he was right.

  When Evan turned me around and started doing me from the back, was he thinking about how much he loved me?

  Or was he thinking about her?

  Chapter 30

  “Next in line, please!” the peeved middle-aged woman shouted from behind the counter.

  I tapped my foot against the hardwood floor and tried to see over the man standing in front of me. There were at least five people ahead in line.

  Friday was the last day to renew my campus parking validation for the new school year, and, of course, I had waited until the last minute. I hated that I had to make a separate trip to campus when I didn’t even have any classes, but a 250-dollar fine also didn’t sound fun, either.

  After nearly an hour wait, I paid for my registration, slipped the new sticker in my bag, and stepped out on the pavement. On my way back to my car, I stopped off at the Jamba Juice next to the Lair.

  I walked up to the entrance door, and peered inside. There was a long line for smoothies, too, surprise, surprise. At least a dozen people. I looked at the cashier at the front, a cute senior from my theology class named Matt. Then I glanced at the person ordering. It was Evan.

  I reached for the door handle, prepared to yell across the room for him to order for me, too.

  But my fingers slipped off the handle when I saw the girl standing next to him, bending over the counter to get a better look at the menu.

  “Shit,” I said.

  Michelle ordered, after a good minute of deliberating, and Evan paid. They stepped left of the counter to wait for their drinks. Talked animatedly for a few seconds, then Evan made a joke and Michelle started laughing.

  I pushed my forehead against the door, and swallowed my own vomit.

  “Excuse me,” someone said from behind. “Can we get through?”

  A group of four pushed past me, opened the door, and headed inside. I moved away from the building, and slowly walked along the sidewalk, as I gazed inside at Evan and Michelle. I studied their behavior, especially her. She wanted him; could it have been more obvious? The way she kept so close to him, the way she grinned at him with every word he said. She wanted him bad.

  They picked up their smoothies and headed out the side entrance. Walked side by side, across the street, all the way to the dorms. Her freshman dorms.

  I almost followed them. A big gust of wind from behind even seemed to push me forward to investigate. But I thought of a better idea, and went the other way.

  When I reached my car, I pulled the sticker out of my bag and stuck it on the bottom corner of the windshield.

  Then I took out my phone.

  And called him.

  “Hey you, how’s it going?” Evan asked, finally picking up after five rings.

  “It’s fine, just got my parking registration,” I said. I leaned up against my car and pursed my lips, with more worry than hope. “Say, were you on campus? I was wondering if you wanted to get some lunch.”

  He hesitated. I listened for Michelle's voice, but didn't hear her. “Oh, I’d love to,” he said, “but I’m at my internship, remember? They have me working until 6 tonight.”

  A painful knot formed in my stomach. I keeled over, and wrapped my arm over my mid-section.

  “Syd? You there?”

  “Uhh, yeah,” I said, softly. “I’m here. Are we still on for dinner tonight?”

  “Absolutely! Can I pick you up around 7?”

  “Sure, yeah. See you then.” I hung up, before he had a chance to say good-bye.

  I didn’t get in the car right away. I just stood under the warm September sun—and started to cry.

  Evan was twenty minutes late picking me up, but I didn’t yell at him about it. Even when he said, with a straight face, that they had overworked him at the law office all day and had barely given him a half-hour to eat lunch. We didn’t say much on the car ride over. He asked me a few questions about how my second week at school went, and I gave him the kind of generic responses annoyed teens give their nosy mothers. He parked at the Landmark, where we were going to see the new Hugh Jackman thriller, and we walked across the street to Apple Pan, an old-fashioned restaurant Evan insisted had the best burger and pie in town.

  “Is everything all right?” he asked. “You’ve been pretty quiet.”

  “I’m fine. It’s just been a long week.”

  “Yeah, tell me about it. Work was hellish today, it seriously was. It’s hard to take the kind of crap I do at this place, knowing I’m not even getting paid for it.”

  He was so confident in his lying, so damned natural, that it impressed me. Why was he so sure that I, or Lukas, or Robert, or someone, hadn't seen him on campus? He opened the
door for me and led me in. We grabbed two empty stools on the left side.

  “Two hickory burgers with cheese, with two French fries, please!” Evan said, with way too much enthusiasm. He shot me an annoying grin. “That work for you?”

  “Uhh, sure.”

  “And to drink?” the waiter behind the counter asked.

  “Just a diet Coke for me,” Evan said.

  “All right.” He turned to me. “And you?”

  “Yeah, actually, do you have any alcohol here?”

  The waiter leaned against the counter. He was at least a hundred pounds overweight, and sported a white, sailboat-shaped hat that looked like something out of the 1950s. “Uhh, we have a Jack and Coke…”

  “That would be perfect.”

  Evan leaned toward me, put his hand on my shoulder. “Syd? What’s going on?”

  The waiter asked for my ID and I happily showed it to him, the real one. When he stepped to the back of the restaurant, I clapped my hands together, and smiled at Evan. “Now I can get this night started!”

  He didn't smile back. “Syd, are you okay?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  “You just ordered a Jack and Coke. You do realize that, right?”

  I pressed my elbows against the counter and clicked my tongue at the top of my mouth. “I just turned twenty-one, Evan. It's Friday night, and I've had a tough week. Can't I have a little fun?”

  “Yeah, of course you can. I want you to.” He bit down on his bottom lip and looked away from me. “But…”

  “But what?”

  He shrugged. “All right. If that's what you want, then go for it.”

  The waiter dropped off our drinks, and I guzzled down the Jack and Coke in a matter of seconds. Evan hadn’t even taken a sip of his soda yet.

  “Whoa, whoa, easy,” he said.

  I pounded the glass against the counter, and said, “Another, please.”

  The waiter glared at me, and set his elbows down on the counter. “Just one more,” he said, and headed to the back, again. “This isn't a bar, ma'am.”