Do Not Return To Sender Read online

  What? What did I say?"

  Razer closed his eyes, hearing the same ugly words Philip said and groaned. "You know Los Angeles and I won't fit, besides, I…well…we…"

  Blake let out a deep breath. "I guess there's something in the back of my mind that keeps thinking we can fall madly in love with each other. We have passion and friendship and everything that makes a great relationship."

  Razer inched forward and lightly touched Blake's face. "Except love. We've been through this before."

  Blake grabbed Razer's hand and kissed his fingers, drawing his index finger inside of his mouth, suckling as he gazed into Razer's eyes.

  Razer shivered as his cock stirred. Blake could turn him on instantly. With his long blond locks and dazzling smile, the man was the sexiest man he'd ever been to bed with. "You keep doing that and we won't make dinner."

  Blake removed his finger, allowing the pop to permeate the air as he blazed a salacious trail down Razer's body. "Food is highly over rated unless you mean your sweet cum sliding down my throat."

  "Fuck, you know how to turn me on." Razer used the flat of his hand to caress Blake's chest, relishing the feel of his chiseled muscles, kneading until his hunger forced him to inch down.

  Toying with the waistband of Blake's jeans, he slid his finger inside and touched the tip of Blake's cock. "Teasing me with no underwear?"

  "Just the way you like it. Dinner or me?"

  Razer narrowed his eyes before setting his glass down. "How about both?" While he knew a few of his neighbors could see his actions on the second story balcony, the thrill remained and as he kissed Blake he sighed, excitement roaring through him.

  Blake moaned as Razer broke the kiss and fumbled to set his glass down on the table, barely pushing the dense crystal past the slick edge. "Suck me."

  Chuckling, Razer dropped to his knees and pushed Blake hard against the iron railing. As he unfastened Blake's jeans, slowly lowering the zipper, he pressed his face into Blake's groin, inhaling the musky scent of his sex. There was nothing he enjoyed better than having a man's cock in his mouth, sucking as he writhed in pleasure. There was no top or bottom in their relationship as Blake wasn't into the concept and Razer was timid at suggesting anything kinky.

  Razer's past kept him from enjoying anything except basic vanilla sex but lately he hungered for more and he sensed Blake knew it. Tonight however, Razer felt a little wild and crazy.

  "I like it when you want me so damn much," Blake whispered as he gripped the railing.

  Razer hissed as he yanked down Blake's pants. As his lover's cock sprang free, he took in the throbbing erection. He slid a finger down the length of Blake's shaft until he reached his balls.

  Circling first one and then the other, he tipped his head and gazed into Blake's eyes. "You want me to suck you?"

  "God yes."

  Toying with him, Razer slid his tongue across the sensitive slit as Blake bucked. Cupping his balls, he squeezed, rolling the tender sacs in his fingers as Razer lowered his head and engulfed Blake's head in his mouth, rolling his tongue in slow and deliberate circles.

  "Fuck! You're so damn good at this!" Blake tossed his head back and allowed a strangled cry to filter into the night air.

  Encouraged, Razer took Blake's dick down an inch at a time as he stroked the base, gripping and pulling as he swirled his tongue back and forth, hungrier than he could ever imagine.

  Blake jerked away from the railing and impaled Razer's mouth with his cock as he grabbed his head, entwining his fingers in Razer's long stands. "I'm going to fuck your mouth hard. Can you handle it?"

  Growling his answer, Razer relaxed his throat muscles and took Blake's shaft until the tip hit his throat, forcing him to gag. Swallowing and using his strong jaw muscles, he fought down the urge to reject such a gorgeous piece of flesh and squeezed tightly, clenching around Blake's swollen erection like a tight vice. Crawling further between Blake's legs, Razer crouched as Blake took control jerking Razer's head up and down his throbbing muscle until Blake simply held his lover.

  "That's it. Take all of me. Swallow me whole. God, you're so fucking hot," Blake breathed and pulled Razer's head, lifting it slowly, pulling his cock almost all the way out of Razer's mouth.

  "You want more?"

  "Mmmm…" Razer reached around Blake's massive thighs and gripped his buttocks sliding his fingers up and down the crack of his ass.

  Blake shifted, his breath becoming rattled as his body quaked before he pumped into Razer's mouth, using the strength of his legs to drive into the back of his throat. " Yyyyeeeesss…"

  Razer's legs trembled and he parted Blake's ass cheeks, running the tip of his finger around Blake's dark hole. As he darted the tip of his index finger inside, Blake clenched his ass muscles and groaned.

  "God, I won't be able to…to…shit man!"

  Razer pushed his finger further inside Blake's dark hole, longing to have his cock buried there. Sliding further, he hit the tight ring of muscle and pushed past, his efforts rewarded with a single howl.

  " Aaaaahhhh! " Blake stopped short and panted as he held Razer's head.

  Blake's cock filled his mouth and he closed his eyes and inserted a second finger in Blake's ass. Growling, Razer flexed his fingers. He knew his lover was close to cumming and he wanted nothing more than for Blake's tangy juice to slide down the back of his throat.

  "I can't hold it. I can't…" Blake sighed, his voice barely a whisper. Pumping faster into Razer's mouth, his legs shook as he struggled to hold on. Losing grip, he reached back for the railing, barely able to grab hold.

  Razer continued his manic actions, thrusting into his ass as his pulse raced. Nothing had ever felt so damn good.

  "Oh…ohohoh!" Blake jerked and slammed his cock into Razer's mouth as he erupted, sending hot spurts into Razer's mouth.

  Razer held him, his fingers buried inside Blake's asshole as he drank, savoring Blake's sweet cum.

  "Sweet Jesus!" Blake roared as his body bucked.

  Blake pressed the back of his hand across his mouth and groaned. "You're so fucking good."

  Falling back against the railing, he chuckled and threw his head back.

  Razer licked his lips and gazed up at his lover. "I'm not done with you yet."

  "Who said I was done with you?"

  "Me first." Yanking Blake's body around in one swift motion, Razer forced his waist over the railing and yanked his legs as far apart as the dense material would allow before using both hands to open Blake's ass cheeks. "Another taste before dinner." Burying his face into Blake's ass, he slipped his tongue inside his dark hole, peppering the forbidden entrance with licks.

  Arching his back, Blake growled and dropped his head. "God, I'm gonna miss this."

  Chapter Two

  "Look, I know how bad it is," Blake said quietly as he sipped a glass of tequila.

  Razer eyed him and sighed. "What do you think you know?"

  Leaning forward in his chair, Blake swirled the hefty crystal back and forth between his hands. "That you've spent all your savings. That you only took the modeling gig to make ends meet and that you're a very proud man."

  "Snooping?"

  "Christ! You're my lover and my friend. It's not hard to tell when I pick up the phone and it's a damn bill collector. Why didn't you tell me? I know how damn tough the market's been. Let me help you!"

  Growling, Razer jerked to his feet. "You mean a hand out."

  "I mean one friend helping another."

  "I can't do that."

  "Because you're stubborn."

  "Because it's not fair to you." Razer rubbed his eyes and rested his hand on the fireplace mantel.

  "I have money."

  "I don't want your money. I want to make my own."

  Blake rose to his feet. "It won't do you any good if you're homeless. Take a loan from me until you get back on your feet."

  Razer realized his pride might ultimately destroy him but he didn't want to drag Blake into the middle of
his mess. "I have no clue when I could pay it back and I don't want that shit hanging over my head. I was there. Remember? I was at a man's mercy and look what happened. He nearly destroyed me body and soul." Razer's tone sharp, he caught the look of hurt cross Blake's face out of the corner of his eye and instantly regretted his words. "I'm sorry.

  It's just that…"

  Blake sighed and leaned back in the chair and it was several seconds before he spoke. "I'm not a monster. You know I'd never hurt you."

  "I know that." Razer clawed the wood surrounding the fireplace before turning around. "The nightmares are back."

  "I knew that too."

  "How?"

  "Because every once in awhile you allow me to hold you all night long like real lovers do, remember?"

  Razer clucked his jaw and tried to figure out what to say. It had taken him years to get over what the man had done to him and why he was having the horrendous nightmares again, he wasn't sure. What he did know was they kept him from resting over the last few weeks.

  Swallowing hard, he shook his head. "I'm sorry."

  "It's time you dealt with the misery that freak put you under. If memories of your time with Tim continue to haunt you after all these years, then you need to get some professional help.

  And you know what? I think it's time you fell in love."

  Razer burst out laughing. "Not gonna happen."

  "Exactly what I knew you'd say." Blake climbed out of the chair and walked toward the bar. "I got you something."

  "What's the occasion?"

  "Getting your head out of your ass," Blake smirked, giving Razer a wry grin. Grabbing a folder from the top of the bar, he sauntered back toward him. "Look, I wasn't sure how to give this to you. I've had these folks thoroughly checked out from a credit check to the Better Business Bureau. They're legit and they've been around for nearly a decade." Fingering the pamphlet, he narrowed his eyes.

  "Why do I feel a nightmare coming on?" Razer sighed as he eyed the bright blue folder.

  "I want you to look at this with a completely open mind. I mean it. Not only will it give you a job but you might enjoy entering into their type of…contract. It's totally your decision and you can take all the time you want finding the right one but I strongly encourage you to do this. I've taken the liberty of enrolling you because I knew you'd be tempted to say no."

  "What?" Razer chuckled as Blake moved forward then realized his lover was very serious.

  "What're we talking about here?"

  Blake handed him the folder but kept his hand on it as he gazed into Razer's eyes. "It's very out of the ordinary but it's the only thing I can think of that might drag you out of your doldrums. If you agree, you'll go in for testing in a few days and then you can begin enjoying.

  You've already been prescreened and an entire year's membership paid so you can't back out.

  You're exactly what they're looking for and I'm told you'll fetch a pretty penny. Before you say a damn thing, you have to promise me you'll look this over before you throw it in the garbage."

  There was something about his dark tone that surprised Razer. Inhaling deeply he gazed down at the cover and sighed. "Male Order?"

  "Catchy title eh?"

  Razer took it from him and moved toward the bar, setting down his drink. "What do they do?" Flipping through the colorful brochure, the pictures appeared like a dating service.

  "They get people together that are damaged, lonely or in need and yes the corporation caters to the gay society. They also provide an avenue for developing a network."

  "A fucking dating service? You're not out the door yet and you want me to pick another guy to go out with and what? Fuck?" Shocked Razer had no idea what to say but as he read several passages, he could tell it wasn't a traditional dating service.

  "It's much more than that. The exclusive club utilizes the internet to locate and select qualified candidates for work situations and for love interests, yes. They pre-select only the top notch people that are drug free, disease free and have the same interests. After certain introductions are made, it's up to the two parties to talk via chat rooms and emails first and then more traditional conversations before meeting in person. If a contract is signed then…"

  Blake hesitated.

  "Then?"

  "The contract's for life."

  "Life? What the fuck?"

  "You promised," Blake breathed.

  "I didn't promise a damn thing." Razer's pulse crested as he flipped through the folder. The glossy brochure was certainly beautiful and alluded to all things necessary for men to find men in a world filled with uncertainty. It also spelled out in no uncertain detail that if he accepted, he'd be nothing more than a mail order groom that also worked as a contracted employee.

  "You're fucking out of your mind!" Tossing the brochure onto the bar, Razer grabbed his drink and stalked onto the deck, anger flashing through him. Why the hell would Blake do this? Why?

  After all the years that they'd shared. Swallowing hard, he lowered his head as tears slipped from his eyes.

  "If you want to know why, it's because I want you to be in love. I want you to be in love with me but it's never going to happen. You've closed off your heart to real feelings. I thought if you could have love and sex the way you need it then you might heal. I'm hoping you'll find yourself again."

  Hanging his head over the railing, Razer fought the demons that he'd carried for too many years. The ones ripping away at his soul piece by piece. Unable to say anything, he concentrated on his breathing, controlling his nerves as memories of the monsters voice flashed through him.

  All you are is a good fuck and I'm going to keep you for just that. You hear me? You'll never amount to anything but a good lay and now you belong to me.

  Blake eased forward and placed his hand on the small of Razer's back. "I love you even if you can't love me."

  Hearing Blake's confession for the first time, Razer sucked in his breath and when he spoke, his haunted voice startled him. "I'm damaged. How could anyone want me?"

  Wrapping his arm around Razer's waist, Blake pressed a series of kisses across his neck. "I want you and you've never been damaged. You're the most incredible man I've ever met in my life and I want you to be happy."

  For the first time in years, Razer broke down into a wave of sobs that racked his body. As Blake held him tenderly, caressing his back as he spoke words of love and encouragement, Razer realized it was time to forgive himself and to get on with his life. Blake was the only soul he trusted with certain portions of his story regarding his past and the rest would remain locked away forever. While Razer was normally strong, the nightmares robbed him of portions of sanity and he was dead tired of fighting. He was more than ready to live.

  If only the monster would allow it.

  "I have an idea," Blake whispered.

  Wiping his eyes, Razer sniffed and smiled. Blake was the one that always made him feel better. Closing his eyes, he went to his place of calm and smiled. "I can tell by the sound of your voice it's going to be naughty."

  Blake chuckled. "You know me too well. It's a beautiful evening. How about a shameless swim?" Leaning over the railing, he directed their attention to the glistening pool. "No one uses it anyway so no one's going to find us. If they do, it'll be that much more sinful."

  Razer sucked in his breath. "You have very good ideas."

  "Besides, we need to work off dinner, right?"

  "I thought you might've had more in mind than just swimming."

  Pressing a single finger past his lips, Blake sucked it before easing it out of his mouth and sliding it down the length of the back of Razer's neck. "You'll have to follow me to find out."

  Razer turned and watched his lover saunter back into the living room. When Blake shifted and gave him a come hither look, Razer grinned. The guy knew how to turn up the heat.

  Blake placed both hands on either side of the open door and swayed his hips back and forth seductively. "No swimsuits. We won't ne
ed them."

  Tossing back the rest of his tequila, Razer waited until he heard the front door close before moving into the living room. Setting his glass down, he walked to the bathroom to grab a couple of towels. One thing was certain. Blake's ass was getting impaled tonight.

  Razer slowly made his way to the pool, watching for any interlopers along the way. His complex mostly filled with an older crowd, few were ever out past ten. Strolling into the pool area, he closed the iron gate softly before glancing across the water. Illuminated by a series of vibrant LED lights, the colors danced and swirled under the water, casting shadows around the perimeter of the pool.

  Blake was at the far end swimming back and forth across the width. "The water's surprisingly warm."

  Eyeing a heap of clothes, Razer glanced over his shoulder one last time before pitching the towels down on the small table and removing his clothes, allowing Blake to drink him in. Naked, he slid his hand across his chest. He heard Blake sucking in his breath as Razer inched forward, pushing the flat of his hand down his stomach to dart his fingers across the top of his groin.

  "Come to me."

  "Not yet." Toying with the soft hair surrounding his cock, Razer grazed his other hand down to cup his balls, squeezing as he moved his hips. "You want this?" His dick already swollen, he stroked the base of his shaft sending a series of shivers dancing down his spine. Grunting, he inched forward toward the stairs relishing the way Blake's gaze followed him the entire way.

  Blake pushed off from the wall and glided through the water toward him. "Yes."

  Razer walked into the pool and moved toward him. Blake allowed passion to enter back into Razer's life through their friendship and for that he would forever be grateful. While sadness swept his system as he thought about Blake leaving, tonight was a time for ecstasy. He moved forward like a hungry predator.

  Blake swam around him in circles, splashing water across the surface. "Do you want me?"

  "Uh-huh." Razer tilted his head, hunger racing through his body. Blake knew how to push every button.