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  “Can’t you control your kid?” The bite in my voice gave the question an edge.

  “Can’t you control yours?” She bit back.

  That was the beginning of the end. With kids in the equation, our relationship was changing—and not for the better.

  After we got back from the trip, my Christian roots started barking at me. I started thinking that, as a parent, I should be setting a better example. My relationship with Colleen was not a good example, and I started feeling guilty. I began taking the kids to church which made me feel even guiltier. I thought about marriage. But I figured it would only complicate things even more, especially with my Dad. As much as I hated to, I knew I had to end the relationship with Colleen. She saw it coming, too, but it was still difficult for us to kiss and say goodbye.

  *****

  …Many months have passed us by. I’m going to miss you. I can’t lie. I got ties, and so do you. I think this is the thing to do. It’s gonna hurt, I can’t lie, let’s just…kiss and say goodbye…

  Another relationship that didn’t work out. We reluctantly parted and eventually drifted far apart. The current was too swift to hold us together. It had been a fantastic two years.

  She took a different job position in another building. It helped that we didn’t see each other anymore at work. I heard a year later, she married. It wasn’t long after that I heard she was sick with some type blood disease. Then I heard she passed away. Surprisingly, the news hit me really hard. Suddenly, I found myself crying my eyes out. Didn’t see that one coming.

  Out of respect for her husband, I didn’t go to her funeral. I knew I would probably become emotional and lose it in front of everyone. I didn’t want to embarrass myself or the other attendees who would have wondered why I was so emotional. That’s when it hit me that I must have really been in love with her.

  Alone and depressed again? Not for long with two teenage monsters in the house.

  Help! The Comeback Kid would need to acquire some parenting skills. And the sooner, the better.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Parenthood

  Hold your horses. I had gone from an international playboy gallivanting around the globe to single, parenting two teenagers. Wow, what a contrast. Is the Comeback Kid gonna come back from this?

  Now, instead of my usual bowl of cereal for breakfast, I had to organize the kid’s breakfast. Had to make sure they had money for their school lunches. Had to make sure they had done their homework. Had to set ground rules. Playing skip-rope took on a whole new meaning ’cause here I was at the age of 38 learning to skip a new rope.

  What had those kids gone through with Claudia? All I knew was that she had had no control over their behavior. I had inherited a couple of untamed animals.

  We were like rams at rutting season, butting heads as soon as the newness wore off. They had no understanding of the word ‘no’. And as for rules, well, let’s just say that was a foreign concept.

  One summer night I awoke and heard voices outside on the patio. When I went down to check, I saw the both of them talking with a school friend. They were outside after their curfew, so I locked the patio door and went back to bed. I didn’t unlock the door until the next morning. Imagine my surprise to find them up so early in the morning. Usually, it was a pain in the butt getting them up on time to go to school. Boy, were they pissed. But it taught them a lesson, ’cause I never had a problem with them violating curfew again.

  Who said that raising kids was supposed to be fun and rewarding? At times it got so frustrating, I just wanted to run away and hide. For sure, if I hadn’t started going back to church, someone might have been crucified.

  My church had a singles group. Thank God, I joined. We started doing social activities with the group. That’s when I helped organize Single Adult Fellowship (SAF), an interdenominational Christian group.

  Fortunately, my cluster f*#k parenting skills got a shot in the arm from the support and advice I received from other divorcees.

  Oh! Lest I forget: The St. Louis Cardinals won the World Series in October 1982. It would be their ninth World Series win and the first since 1967; the year Kristy was born. It had been a long drought, and they wouldn’t win again until 2006; an even longer drought.

  *****

  I was racing through a wasteland in a futuristic looking vehicle. This hot rod had no wheels. But it had a sleek body with some fancy curved fins. The vehicle was a cross between a motorcycle and a sports coupe, with plenty of get up and go. A female warrior had her arms wrapped around me from the rear seat.

  I was whizzing around stirring up a massive cloud of dust when suddenly I realized I was lost in a maze. Every time I stopped to get my bearings, some mutant creature hurled itself at the vehicle, making horrendous sounds. I put the pedal to the metal, as the female warrior blasted the creature with her laser pistol.

  “Hold on baby,” I shouted, as I did a wheelie without wheels and disappeared into the sunset. Buzzards swooped in for the road kill.

  “Yippee Kai Yeh.”

  *****

  What is it with these weird dreams?

  It was then that I knew I had to sell my pride and joy, the 280Z, and buy a family car—a station wagon. Another extreme contrast that slapped me upside the head.

  It felt like I had lost a dear friend. I sold it to a co-worker. He didn’t have it but a couple of weeks when someone broad-sided him and totaled my ‘dream’ car.

  *****

  School. What a drag, for both the parent and the kids. I have to agree with the kids. I wasn’t big on school myself, but I tried getting the kids involved in activities in school. Kristy joined the band and learned to play the flute. Jason wasn’t much interested in anything that had to do with school. He was more interested in activities outside of school.

  Holy Cow. The kids’ report cards were worse than mine. Kristy was, at least, passing, but barely. Jason’s teacher told me he was three grades behind in his reading skills and failing every class. Tutors? What a waste of money. They told me, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.

  I tried everything and then some. Nothing worked. Then the real trouble started.

  “Mr. Hay? This is the school principal. Unfortunately, I have just expelled Jason.”

  WTF?

  “Beg your pardon. Why? What did he do?”

  “He’s been cutting classes, and when he’s here, he’s a serious disruption.”

  That night I sat him down and told him, “I’m at my wit’s end with you. You’re not going to school. You weren’t born with a silver spoon. You’ll get a job.”

  “You can’t make me.”

  “Do you want to eat? Do you want a roof over your head?”

  But, he couldn’t keep a job for more than a month, and I was going bald in frustration. I also went from a half pack of cigarettes a day to a full pack.

  Jason liked camping, so we went camping in the Ozarks on another SAF outing. We didn’t arrive at the campground until after dark. And wouldn’t ya know it, all the best spots were taken. We scouted around in the dark and found what we thought was a good space and in pitch blackness, set up the tent. The area seemed to be a bit rocky, but it was late, and we were tired and in a hurry to get to sleep.

  We had just settled down when it started pouring like God turning on the shower full blast.

  “Dad, I’m getting wet.” Kristy was wriggling around in her sleeping bag.

  I put my hand out of the sleeping bag into a puddle of water.

  “Damn. We’ve nested in a creek bed. Grab anything you can and make for higher ground,” I shouted out.

  We were able to salvage most of our gear, but it turned out to be a long sleepless night.

  When my son turned 16, I finally decided it was time for some tough love.

  “Son, I’ve had it up to here,” I told him, placing one hand under my chin.

  “You have two choices. One: Join the Peace Corp. Two: Find another place to live. You got two days to d
ecide.”

  He finally made a good choice and opted to join the Peace Corp. He eventually got his GED, learned a trade, and I was able to enjoy some peace of mind. But not for long.

  Somehow, Claudia knew about Jason’s troubles and started writing me letters. She wrote about ten letters between 1984 and 1986, which left me totally bewildered.

  First, she sent a copy of an article she'd copied. It was about ‘The Horizon of Eternity’. It displayed the Sephirothic System of Ten Divine Names. It had something to do with the ‘Sephirothic Tree of Later Kabbalists.’ Next to the chart, she wrote, “PROTECT JASON, especially when he becomes 18.”

  In the chart was the name Gevurah, which she claimed meant Hay. She also wrote, “protect Kristy when she turns 22. They may decide not to wait. The ‘They’ I’m referring to is not the Jews. It’s the Occult-Witchcraft. I found out about them through Osmosis. I saw my mother (she is one) take Kristy as an infant. BELIEVE IT! It’s true! If you really want to get scared, read the prophesies of Nostradamus. Tom, you must know about the devil—or it takes you!”

  I had no idea what she was writing about. The letters kept coming:

  3-23-84

  Tom—Please don’t hassle Jason too much about his schoolwork. If he flunks, he flunks! It’s not your or his fault! They’ve done things to him also. He was only 2 and 1/2.

  You asked me if I had become a “Born-again Christian”. Maybe one of the reasons we cannot live together is in I Corinthians 7, verses 29-30. I’ve also become aware of the pressures you were under to treat me as you did while we were married. These demons follow me everywhere and are only cast out of me so I can hear their voices.

  If you want it, I’m going to compile a list of everything that was done to me while I was growing up in Kansas. It will illustrate clearly why our marriage didn’t work. Becoming a vegetarian is what cleared my mind enough to see the light of even Jesus. Claudia

  4-17-84

  Tom—Here are life insurances policies. I have a lot of enemies. If I ever do not call you or the kids for more than one month—They’ve got me! If you want to investigate or try to produce my body, check former employees first, then x-roommates, because they will be the guilty ones.

  Get a court order to get into my post office box. My auto-biography will make a lot of things clear. I don’t want to burden you with the details now, but Kristy and Jason have been aware all along. The auto-bio will show how the mind works and how horrible, unspeakable things happen to some people. I am getting a will to make you in charge of all matters. Claudia

  4-20-1984

  Tom—The reason Jason is having problems in school is not his fault. I told you they did something to him at age 2 and 1/2. They are probably punishing him for knowing what happened to his mother when she was 11 They want Jason to be ignorant of what happened to him. The only way you remember your past (I'm sure they took you also when you were little) is to refrain from all sexual experiences.

  The incident was not my fault. It has every indication of being arranged and was so traumatic for me that it was erased from my mind for 17 years. I never knew why people called me a dog. Jason has a right to know that his mother isn’t poor and treated in this manner because she is stupid. It’s because of shitty crap-minded ass holes. He has to know that they are everywhere!

  I hate to sound incredibly naive, but the kids should be protected constantly because everyone knows what they’ve done to me and the way they love to do things to the children of such parents. It’s called classism, and they like to keep the classes separate! Claudia

  5-19-84

  Tom—When you read my auto-bio, you will see that I was a non-sexual, perverted to suit the designs of the underworld. If you ever want me back, I would be able to do it, if you could tolerate the facts and not be influenced in how you treat me in anyway by THEM. I realize they put pressure on you then to keep me fucked up, but since you have become a more devout Christian and realize that the woman has to have her own mind. I thought you might consider the idea of living together as friends.

  I’ll never be a sexual partner to anyone. My soul-mate exists but is too old and has many other interests. There never could be anyone but him, for we are as a Christian brother, and this is what most marriages are anyhow. After knowing all the things I know now, I could never fake the wife role again.

  I fear the thugs at work are going to either punch my face in or rape me, eventually. It would be nice to know that there is a sanctuary somewhere that I could go to. That’s only if you could tolerate my past and the evil spirits that follow me everywhere and my non-sexually. Claudia

  8-20-84

  This is a segment of my auto-bio. It’s an actual occurrence: I awoke to intense sexual feelings. He (my soul-mate) may have been subjected to an electric appliance, or someone was actually taking him.

  I went back to sleep and had a most peculiar astral projection. I was out of my body and riding high above the trees in the night. I looked up and from the south approached a wind (churning, rolling, grayness). From the north (black rolling clouds with a light in the middle). Both were coming together over my head with tremendous speed. I assumed my body would be hit by lighting. The instant I feared, my astral spirit started to descend back into the car, as the ground and trees became larger. I then felt a warmth in my spinal area.

  Once awake, I heard a semblance of a service, which seemed to be occult, (in a basement) and it then dissipated into their voices, the ones I usually hear.

  9-24-84

  Tom—These are impressions of my gas cap key to my Pinto. I just discovered another proof. [There were actually colored impressions of a key on the paper she wrote on]. I couldn’t get the numbers in pencil or chalk, but they show up plainly on this foil.

  Ask Jason what happened when we went to get gas. After we arrived in Virginia Beach. The occult uses the Kabbalists. I am NOT crazy. They are everywhere! Those that have the power of request implement that which has been designed by using this power to further technology and people in their way are removed and sacrificed for it! I hear them constantly wherever I go.

  You must be aware of it, in order to protect yourself and the kids. It is backed by the FED, and they can do whatever they want! Claudia

  12-6-84

  Tom—Jason may be acting like that ’cause some of them have taken him again! I not only saw what happened before we were married, but saw them in Carmel on the 20-mile drive—when they took you! [I don’t remember that.] After that, you were totally unreasonable with me and couldn’t control your temper.

  You see, when you induce a trauma, sometimes the unconscious mind will not accept it. But the super-conscious records all experiences. I saw them take me at 8 months through my pregnancy with Jason. So, don’t blame Jason, they have merely shattered his awareness again. He does not know why he behaves like this, but his super-conscious does! Someday he will remember it all, like I did, if he is allowed to live. They never felt I would remember, but I did, and I am still alive.

  If there is any way you can admit you saw them, Tom, someone else has too! They are destroying the whole planet. I realize you can't if they are threatening you, but do not try to erase me…it will NOT work!

  I always was a non-sexual, always forced into situations of necessity. I firmly believe all humanity is also! Sex is only for reproduction, for it shatters consciousness when used for any other purpose. Pleasure is a mutual respect, unspoken and sometimes with no physical contact and causing others pain will only ensure it for yourself. Claudia

  5-3-85

  Dear Tom—I was threatened today again by some of your underground 'friends’! They are going to try to get Jason into enough trouble to get him into jail. PLEASE BE CAREFUL! Your x

  12-14-86

  Dear Tom—I had a dream about an aquarium with 3 fish. One was bigger but had a wound in his head. The other two were gold fish. The aquarium was on stilts higher than my shoulders. All of a sudden it started tipping. It started falling and I could
n’t stop it. It crashed upon the floor, but just before it fell, someone had put two more fish in it. One was eating at the hole in the head of the big fish and would not stop until it found the center of the brain and killed it. The floor was covered in sand!

  PLEASE! let Jason and Kristy come back to live with me now, before your new situation gets to the above point. It may stop disaster. TOM! Sand is what killed my relationship to being in physical form. Help yourself and all of us before it's too late. CJ Janus

  Holy Crap. What was I supposed to make of the letters? I promptly informed her that there was no way I was returning the kids to her. With that, the letters stopped. I can only wonder what it must have been like raised by someone with her thoughts and state of mind.

  In hindsight, I should have gotten the kids into therapy. That could be why Jason was having so many problems. No way was I going to let the kids go back to her. Even though she still had legal custody, I knew she wouldn’t take me to court. That’s why I saved the letters and kept the kids, but both the kids would eventually go right back to her. Mind-boggling, huh! But better was still to come.

  “Tom. It’s CJ. (Claudia was calling herself CJ these days). I really must tell you this. No, wait. Listen. Please. You remember in my letter how I talked about the night we drove to Carmel, and they took you. Well, they took us both. No, no, I’m not delusional. I’ve been fasting and abstaining from sex. That helped me to melt their mind block. Yes, the mind block. The one they implanted in my head before they returned me. Only it isn’t me. I mean I’m not me. You’re not you either. No, wait. Let me explain. They took us, and we’re someone else. What we are is clones of Tom and Claudia. No, I’m not insane. You need to become a vegetarian and abstain from sex, and then you can melt your mind block. No, don’t hang up, please.”

 

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