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  Chapter Six

  Three days later dawned damp and dreary. Not

  wanting to put off her move, she dragged a reluctant Katy

  to the apartment. Now she smiled at Katy’s sour face.

  “Why don’t you take the forks, knives and spoons out of

  that box and arrange them in the silverware container.”

  Ever since Mike had spilled the beans about Cyn moving

  to the apartment, the little girl had been in a perpetual

  pout.

  Katy reached into the cardboard box and took out one

  spoon. “I don’t understand why you have to move up here.

  What’s wrong with our house?”

  Rain pounded against the windowpanes in unison

  with Katy’s protests. Cyn sat on the floor and held out her

  arms. “Come here.”

  In a flash, the child plunked herself on Cyn’s lap. “I

  don’t want you to move out. I love you.” As if to prove her

  point, Katy hugged her tight around the neck.

  Cyn inhaled the clean soapy scent of Katy’s hair

  while she rubbed the small back. “And I love you.

  Nothing’s going to change.” For a while. “Other than I’ll

  be sleeping here instead of in the main house.”

  “But I like crawling in bed with you in the morning.”

  Cyn gently grasped the small shoulders. “Look at

  me.” Katy eyes filled with tears. “I think you know why

  I’m moving up here.”

  Her blue-eyed gaze slid away. Cyn bent her head to

  hear the softly whispered answer. “Because I wanted you

  to marry me and Daddy.”

  Great. The kid had nailed it on the head. “That’s part

  of it. I’m only a temporary guest, Katy. It’s important you

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  understand I can’t live here forever.”

  Tears streaked the chubby cheeks. “Will I ever see

  you again after you leave for good?”

  That was a question Cyn had no problem answering.

  “Of course you will. I’m not moving to China. We can get

  together. You can come spend a weekend now and then.”

  She hugged the small body. “But let’s not get ahead of

  ourselves. I’ll be staying right in this apartment for a

  while yet.”

  Ten minutes later, Katy chattered away as she

  always did. Relieved to have circumvented what could

  have been a difficult situation, Cyn’s enthusiasm for

  having her own place kicked in.

  The day sped by. Cyn hadn’t paid attention to time,

  so she was surprised when Katy complained of being

  hungry. Six o’clock? Surely her watch was wrong? They’d

  worked straight through lunch. Mike said he’d be home by

  six-thirty and she hadn’t even thought about supper.

  “Enough work for today. We’ve got to come up with

  something quick to fix for supper or your dad will be as

  grumpy as a bear.”

  Katy raced down the stairs while Cyn stopped in the

  doorway for a last look at her new home. The lonely

  generic feel that permeated the place this morning had

  disappeared with the addition of her furnishings and

  personal items. The warm and cozy atmosphere boosted

  her spirits. Perhaps she was ready to sprout wings and

  fly. Determined to keep depression at bay, she shrugged

  off her sadness of someday leaving this family.

  Katy ran back up the stairs and tugged her hand.

  “Come on, Cyn. I’m starving.”

  They braved the pouring rain and dashed across the

  rain-slick lawn. Mike’s truck sat in front of the house. Cyn

  groaned. Murphy’s Law strikes again. The one time he’d

  come home early had to be the day she’d forgot about

  supper. They entered the house and shook off the water.

  “Katy, wait here while I get a towel.”

  Too late. Katy raced down the hall. “Daddy’s home,

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  and I smell pizza!”

  Cyn’s heart hiccoughed. She’d yet to come to terms

  with her ever-changing emotions about Mike. One

  moment, he was Katy’s Dad and the next he was her

  friend. Lately, she’d found herself wanting more than

  friendship whenever they were together. Dr. Wentworth’s

  words resounded in her brain. It’s unhealthy to make

  someone else responsible for your happiness. You need to

  learn to love yourself.

  Was it too late? Had she already become too

  dependent on this small family? Were they her reason for

  getting up in the morning? She shook off her fears. She’d

  made two positive moves this week. It was time to try her

  new wings and hope she stayed in the air.

  She hung her jacket in the closet and lingered in the

  living room. The gnawing hunger pains had vanished, and

  she debated whether or not to return to the apartment.

  Instead, she slumped on the couch and contemplated her

  new awareness of Mike.

  A spurt of embarrassment turned her face warm

  when the object of her musings spoke behind her. “Hey,

  don’t you want a piece of pizza? You’d best get out here

  before my greedy daughter eats the whole pie.”

  She briefly met his gaze. “Sure. I’m on my way.” She

  stepped around him, quickening her step when she sensed

  him on her heels.

  She sank into her usual chair and halfheartedly

  munched on pizza that went down hard as a piece of

  cardboard. Soon as Katy went to bed, she’d tell Mike her

  news.

  “Yoo hoo, Cyn. Are you with us?”

  Katy giggled and followed Mike’s question with a

  comment of her own. “Space to Cyn. Do you read me?”

  Cyn tossed her crust into the box. “Sorry. Guess I’m

  preoccupied. Did I miss something important?”

  Katy sipped her milk and wiped off the white

  mustache. “Just us talking about my birthday party. It’s

  tomorrow afternoon. Here. Fifteen of my friends are

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  coming. I need a big cake.”

  Cyn bolted to attention. “You’re kidding me? Why

  didn’t you say something sooner?”

  Mike tweaked Katy’s nose. “She’s teasing. Her

  birthday isn’t until September. Off to bed, sweet pea.

  You’ve got ten minutes before I come tuck you in.”

  Katy jumped to her feet. “G’night, Cyn.”

  “Good night. Sweet dreams.”

  Katy scampered out and an uncomfortable silence

  hung. Cyn didn’t know what to make of the strange

  tension in the air. She cleared off the table and prepared

  to wash the few dishes when a warm breath whispered on

  the back of her neck. Her knees threatened to buckle. If

  she turned just now…

  “Come sit down. What’s troubling you? The move?”

  He spoke and ruined her fantasy. She scooted away

  to a chair on the far side of the table. “No. I’m happy with

  the apartment. I think it’ll be good for me.”

  Despite picking a chair as far away from Mike as

  possible, he walked around the table and sat next to her.

  “Then what is it?”

  She stared at her folded hands and attempted a

  smile. �
��I’ve always had difficulty accepting change. I’m

  working on it.”

  She raised her head and stared into green eyes. The

  bottom dropped out of her stomach like when she rode

  Ferris wheel at the County Fair.

  “You’re not alone in fighting that particular demon,”

  he said.

  “Speaking of change, I found a job.” She threw her

  news out and watched his reaction.

  Mike sat in dazed silence, gaze glued to Cyn’s mouth.

  A wide smile lit up her face. He could count on one hand

  the times he’d seen her smile like this. Blue eyes sparkled

  with excitement and something else he couldn’t put a

  name to.

  “That’s wonderful,” he replied and hoped the lack of

  enthusiasm in his voice passed without notice. “I didn’t

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  realize you were in the market for one.” Why couldn’t he

  be happy for her?

  “Dr. Wentworth suggested it. The more I considered

  the idea, the more sense it made. Otherwise, I’ll never be

  able to support myself.”

  “The important thing is that you’re moving forward.

  Tell me about the job. Is it on base? I’ll have to find

  another sitter for Katy,” he muttered, more to himself

  than Cyn.

  Her blonde curls swung like silk when she shook her

  head. “No, not on base. The library in town.”

  “You’re kidding me?”

  Mike instantly regretted laughing when her smile

  vanished.

  She pushed away from the table. “What’s so funny?

  Got something against libraries?”

  “Of course not. It’s just that I can’t picture you

  working in one.”

  She glared at him. “You don’t need to make other

  arrangements for Katy. I work mornings so I can drop her

  off at school and pick her up in the afternoon.”

  Mike tilted back in the chair, rubbed his chin and

  realized he needed a shave. Since when did he worry

  about a few whiskers? “Are you sure? I can look for

  someone else.”

  She bristled like a cat protecting her kittens. “And

  get someone else like Doreen?”

  He coughed to stop the laughter tickling his throat.

  “No. I’d go through an agency this time. Anyway, it’s not

  your problem. So when do you start?”

  Her gaze slid toward the clock. “Tomorrow at 9 a.m.”

  Mike didn’t stop to analyze his irritation. “What did

  you plan to do? Leave me a note?”

  “Of course not. I’m telling you now. I only found out

  this morning.”

  “Sit down.”

  “I really should—”

  He softened his tone. “Please?”

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  She parked her butt on the seat of the chair.

  “Did you ever think about going to back to college for

  your Masters?”

  “Yes. That’s why I got this job…so I can save money.

  Plus, I’m thinking I might try for a Masters in library

  science, instead of education.”

  Mike shifted, uncomfortable with the direction he’d

  steered the conversation. Truth be known, he enjoyed her

  in his life. Looked forward to coming home to find her and

  Katy waiting. “Don’t forget Peter’s life insurance. You

  could go back to school, concentrate totally on your degree

  and not have to worry about working.”

  The instant the words hit the air he wanted to take

  them back. Fury darkened her eyes to indigo. “No. I’m not

  touching that money. Not now. It’s my investment for the

  future.”

  Mike frowned. An investment for the future, or a way

  to hold onto Peter’s memory a bit longer? Whatever. The

  reason was none of his business. He’d made a suggestion

  and she’d shot it down. Why didn’t he feel good about her

  newfound strength? His little voice gave him his answer.

  Because idiot, the faster she finds her independence, the

  sooner she’ll be gone.

  She rose so fast the chair tipped over and hit the floor

  with a thud. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll head to bed now.”

  Katy’s voice came from upstairs. “Daddy? What was

  that noise?”

  “Excuse me.” Without a glance in Cyn’s direction, he

  left the kitchen.

  Thirty minutes later, Mike walked downstairs

  annoyed at the melancholy mood he couldn’t kick. He hit

  the dim switch as he walked into the living room and

  headed straight for the liquor cabinet to pour a healthy

  three fingers of bourbon.

  His hand jerked at Cyn’s husky voice. “I’d like one,

  too.” He gathered his emotions and tucked them away

  before turning to notice. She sat on the couch. “I thought

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  you’d left. I’ll turn up the light.”

  “Please don’t. Dark is nice.”

  He held up the bottle? “You really want a drink?”

  “Yes, please.”

  He dispensed a small amount in a glass and carried

  it to her.

  “Thanks. I think we need to talk.”

  Already out of his comfort zone that she’d stayed, his

  anxiety level climbed even higher. “I apologize for sticking

  my nose where it doesn’t belong.” He took another sip,

  savoring the bourbon sliding down his dry throat. “It’s

  none of my business what decisions you make.”

  The liquor heated his blood and he grew antsy in the

  ensuing silence. His nerves tautened with every passing

  moment.

  “You’re right,” Cyn murmured. “It’s not your concern,

  but that’s no excuse for my rudeness. I had no right to get

  so riled at your suggestion.”

  He lifted his glass in a toast. “Let’s forget it ever

  happened.”

  “Before we do that, there’s something you need to

  know.”

  He’d been enjoying the warm rush of the bourbon.

  Cyn’s statement sobered him instantly. “What?” Was she

  about to drop a bigger bomb?

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  Chapter Seven

  Cyn shook so hard her teeth rattled. Certain she’d

  soon shatter, she gulped the rest of her bourbon. “I’d like

  some more.”

  “You’re fingers are like ice,” he murmured as he took

  the empty glass from her hand.

  Cyn laughed. “That’s funny. The rest of me is on fire.”

  A puzzled look crossed Mike’s face before he rose to

  pour more bourbon. “What’s on your mind? You’re as

  nervous as a new recruit on his first visit to the rifle

  range.”

  “Probably more so.” She clasped her hands so they

  wouldn’t shake, took a deep breath and prayed for the

  courage to say what she had to say. “My last few sessions

  with Dr. Wentworth have focused on co-dependence.”

  As she reached for her glass on the coffee table,

  Mike’s fingers curled around her hand. “Why are you

  telling me this?”

  One minute she wanted to flee, the next to move

  against his warmth and cuddle. Other than t
he hum from

  the overhead fan, the room turned eerily quiet. “I’m sorry.

  This is difficult.”

  He released her hand and relaxed against the

  cushions.

  “I leaned on Peter during our entire

  marriage…looked to him for my happiness. He was my

  world. It was very unhealthy for both of us. In retrospect,

  I can’t believe he carried the extra burden. He encouraged

  me to make friends, to find a hobby and never complained

  when I ignored his advice.”

  Cyn paused for a sip of bourbon. “I’m surprised he

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  didn’t leave me.”

  “Hey!” Mike scooted closer and wiped away her tears.

  “Peter loved you. Don’t ever doubt it.”

  “I know he did. It was wrong to let Peter prop me up

  through all the hard times. Not fair to either of us. I need

  to be sure I never make that mistake again.”

  Mike cupped her face and rubbed his thumbs over

  her cheeks. “You’re beating yourself up. Now that you’re

  aware of the problem, it won’t happen again.”

  His closeness fuzzied her thinking. “I’m afraid I

  already have.” The words left her mouth as a whisper.

  His hand tightened on her bicep. “What do you

  mean?”

  It was now or never. D-Day. “I’m a little in love with

  you. I have a hard time imagining my life without you and

  Katy.”

  There. She’d told him.

  The truth should set her free. Except she didn’t feel

  free. She felt like she balanced on a high wire without a

  net. She tried and failed to read Mike’s expression. Fear

  mushroomed with his long silence. God, what had she

  done? She’d never be able to sit across the dinner table

  from him again.

  She rose, a quick getaway on her mind. Then he

  smiled. A long, slow smile that curled her toes. Her

  fingers itched to caress his cheek. She sank onto the couch

  and pushed her hands under her thighs to curb

  temptation.

  “Just a little in love with me?”

  Her voice came out as a squeak. “Yes.”

  “I fell for you the second week. You’re so damn young.

  Knew it wouldn’t work, so I shoved you to the smallest

  corner of my heart. You’re grieving, Cyn. They say a

  person needs at least a year to get over losing a spouse.”