The Season of Passage Read online

  'What if she's not home?' Gary asked.

  'Seems I heard someone else ask that before,' Lauren muttered.

  'I can't work miracles, Gary,' Jim said.

  Gary smiled. 'You'll never convince me of that. What do I do?'

  Jim picked up a pocket computer - which he had attached to the back of the phone - and two exposed wires. He touched the wires together and there was a faint spark. 'Call her now,' he said. 'Quickly, before they stop us.'

  Gary was pushing the buttons. 'Can they do that?'

  'Yes,' Jim said. 'I'm hitting the switchboard operator with a barrage of incoming signals. At first she'll simply think her board has broken. That's our smokescreen. But it won't last. I wager security has a man at the switchboard. He'll get suspicious, sooner or later - probably sooner -and cut our power. Then someone will come in and yell at us.'

  'It's ringing!' Gary cried.

  'Good,' Jim said.

  Lauren stood and moved next to the phone. Jim winked at her. Gary could have been a five-year-old opening Christmas presents. The screen blinked into life. A young blond woman appeared. She was pretty, Lauren thought, but looked older than the twenty-five years of age Gary had described. The sun wrinkles around her brown eyes were largely to blame.

  'Kathy!' Gary exclaimed.

  'Gary!'

  Gary slumped in his chair as if he had been shot. 'Lorraine, is Kathy there? I've got to talk to Kathy. I'm going to Mars in a few minutes.'

  Oh, is that why you called, Lauren thought.

  We know, silly,' Lorraine said. 'They canceled my favorite late-night movie to show ten million different angles of your steaming rocket. The newscasters are soooo boring. What are you doing, honey? How come we don't get to see you on TV?'

  'Damn it, Lorraine,' Gary said. 'I can get cut off any second. Is Kathy there?'

  Lorraine didn't blink. 'Yes. She's in the other room watching TV. Why don't I tell her you're calling.'

  Gary nodded vigorously. 'Do that.'

  'But why don't you talk to me first,' Lorraine said. 'Did you get my letter?'

  'Yes! I got your letter. But Lorraine, please - I don't have a few minutes.'

  'I spent four nights and two days writing it. That Negro boy I told you about, the one at the park who had that operation on his testicles, helped me write it.'

  'Damn you, get Kathy!' Gary shouted.

  Lorraine smiled. 'You sound tense. I wish you were here. I could get rid of that tension for you.'

  Gary lowered his voice and started to beg. 'Please, Lorraine? I really am about to be cut off. This call is against the rules.'

  Lorraine twisted her mouth into a cruel line of delight. 'You're so neat, Gary. You risked your job to call us.'

  Gary pleaded. 'Look, if you get Kathy now, I promise I'll call you personally from Mars.'

  Lorraine pouted. 'But that's so far away. I wouldn't be able to hear you very well, not like I can now. There's something I have to tell you about the young Negro boy and his testicles. They cut him a way where he can't...'

  'Shut the fuck up!' Gary screamed. Poor Gary, Lauren thought, but she was beginning to enjoy herself.

  Jim eased Gary aside and said politely into the phone, 'Hi, Lorraine, my name's Jim. I'm a good friend of Gary's. He's right when he says our connection could be interrupted. You can see he honestly wants to speak with your sister. Please tell her Gary is calling, as a favor to me. I would appreciate it.'

  Lorraine didn't hesitate. 'All right.' She disappeared from the screen. Gary looked at Jim as if he were God.

  'T-minus two hours and twenty five minutes,' the speakers said.

  Lauren groaned.

  'I know how you feel, Doc,' Gary said, his eyes glued to the screen. Suddenly he sat upright in his chair. 'Kathy!'

  'Gary!'

  She didn't have her sister's wrinkles, Lauren noted, and consequently looked younger. Also, Kathy's eyes were green, as opposed to Lorraine's brown. They were not identical twins, as Gary imagined. Lauren also noted a twinge of jealousy on her own part, but dismissed it. At the moment, she had too many other things to worry about.

  'You called,' Kathy was saying, her voice sweet with emotion. 'I'm so glad you called. You're leaving now, aren't you?'

  'Yes,' Gary's forehead was damp. 'I'm going to Mars. I've called you a few times.

  'Really?'

  'Yeah. Didn't Lorraine tell you?'

  Kathy looked distressed. 'She did tell me, but I didn't believe her. I wanted to. Lorraine's sick, you know. She's going to this new doctor my parents found.' She bit her lower lip. 'I'm going to miss you, Gary.'

  'It's OK,' he said gently. 'I'll visit you as soon as I get home. I'll visit your kids at the hospital. I'll have a lot of neat stories for them. I'm sure something exciting will happen on Mars.'

  Gary stopped, and so did the clear transmission. Static cracked the screen, and perhaps it was because of his comment about neat stories. Kathy's face distorted into an unrecognizable blur. Security was on to them. Jim tried manipulating the circuitry but to no avail. The phone went dead a moment later.

  'At least I got to see her,' Gary said, staring at the blank screen. Jim patted him on the back.

  'She seems like a nice girl,' Jim said.

  'I liked her,' Lauren added.

  The exterior hall doors burst open. Two hot-faced CIA men entered the room beyond the glass. 'Major Wheeler,'

  one said. 'Were you using an outside line?'

  'I called a friend,' Gary said, bored. 'Is there a regulation against that?'

  'Who did you call?' the man insisted.

  'I forget,' Gary said.

  'He called his grandmother,' Lauren said. 'When are you guys going to let my sister and Mr Hayes in?'

  'Soon,' the man said, eyeing Gary without affection.

  'Make it very soon,' Jim said. 'And I want to speak with Dean Ramsey. Immediately.'

  'That's not possible, Professor,' the man said.

  'Jenny!' Lauren cried. From behind a stocky security officer, Jennifer appeared. She ran to the glass partition. Terry followed slowly. There were weary bags under his eyes and Jennifer looked like she had been crying. Lauren felt her heart breaking. How could she do this to those she loved? She put her hand to the partition, and they did likewise. They pretended to touch. They babbled about nothing; how quickly the two years would pass; how bad the weather on Mars would be; how badly Terry would write without her around. Jennifer nodded, wiping at her eyes. They talked about how happy they would all be one day soon, the biggest lie of them all. Then the speakers sounded again.

  'T-minus two hours and ten minutes.'

  End of conversation.

  A colonel appeared and told them to put on their helmets.

  'A minute,' Gary growled at him. 'Where are my parents?'

  'I don't know,' the colonel said. He checked his watch. 'But I don't think you have time to worry about them right now.'

  Jim's questions must have annoyed the president, Lauren

  thought. None of them trust us, and we're supposed to be heroes.

  'Yes. sir,' Gary said. He picked up his helmet and put it on. The fight had gone out of him. Lauren knew he must be starting to think about the blast off.

  'I guess this is it,' Lauren said to her family, the voice unsteady.

  Terry rested his hands on Jennifer's shoulders. 'I wish we had more time,' he said. 'Can't you leave tomorrow?'

  Lauren smiled, close to tears. But crying was against the rules. Astronauts never cried in front of others. They were all so fucking brave. 'I don't think so,' she said softly. 'Jenny?'

  Jennifer nodded. 'I'll think about you every day, Lauren.'

  'I will think about nothing else but you.' Lauren pressed her open palm flat on the glass, and Jennifer matched the spread of her fingers with her own little hand. 'Princess.'

  Jennifer sniffed. 'I love you.'

  Lauren stood, trembling slightly. 'I love both of you.'

  Terry leaned his forehead on the
glass, pain in his face. 'Why couldn't you just get a normal job?'

  Lauren swallowed. 'Because I'm not normal.'

  Terry grinned wistfully. 'I know.'

  Lauren fastened her helmet over her head. Ordinarily astronauts did not put on their helmets until they were in the shuttle but they couldn't have any nasty germs following them to Mars. Now another glass wall separated her from the world. There was a hiss of air as the helmet seal locked. A green light flashed at her wrist. Cold oxygen filled her lungs. Her faceplate fogged slightly but still she did not cry.

  'T-minus two hours and seven minutes.'

  Time to go, the clock said. You have places to be and

  monsters to meet. The door that had remained locked since they had entered the isolation complex now opened. Lauren stepped through it into the hallway. Terry and Jennifer pressed close to her side. This time the hallway was going to take her to another world. Technically, because of the quarantine, they weren't supposed to touch anyone. On the other hand, their suits should protect them from any germ.

  'Jenny,' Jim called, as he came up behind them, his voice muffled inside his helmet. He knelt and took her sister's hand as Lauren watched. Jennifer pressed her ear against Jim's faceplate. Jim was trying to tell her something. People swarmed around them from all directions. In the confusion, Lauren could not hear what Jim was saying. A flicker of surprise crossed Jennifer's face. She was listening intently to Jim, and when he was done, she nodded vigorously. Jim opened the gloved fist of his suit and handed something to her. It was a silver ring. Jennifer took the band and held it up to her wide blue eyes. Then she slipped the ring over her thumb.

  'I'll wear it, Professor,' she promised. 'But I'll give it back to you when you come home.'

  Jim stood up straight and touched the top of her head. 'This present is yours to keep, Cinderella.'

  They started down the long hallway. Doors opened before them and flashbulbs exploded. A mindless stream of faces swam by Lauren, blurred as if seen underwater, and she was reminded of the nightmare she'd had in Wyoming. The world was as it should be, but something was terribly wrong. Too many people wanted to brush her gloved hands, she wasn't allowed to hold on to Terry and Jennifer. Even those in the crowd she recognized looked like strangers. Many of them were crying the tears she herself was holding in. It did not seem right.

  The corridor expanded. A senator who supported the space program waved. Another senator who had lobbied against Project Nova tried to kiss her through her faceplate. Soon she was outside. It was early, but the bright sun had just come up. Cape Canaveral was jammed with spectators. In the distance she saw the shutttle. Ten feet away stood a small open truck, waiting for them. Lauren swallowed on a hard lump full of tender loss. This was it, she kept thinking. Two years, two fucking years. She turned and hugged Jennifer and Terry. Take care of yourself, Terry. Finish your next book. Don't step on any cockroaches. You take care of yourself, too, Jenny. Walk in the woods for me. Read happy books. Be happy. They are only dreams, little sister, they don't mean anything. Of course Daniel thinks you're prettier than me. Didn't I tell you, Princess? You're the most wonderful person in the world.

  They said goodbye. Bye, bye. A last hug, a last wave. Then Lauren turned and climbed into the cart. Gary squeezed her knee. Jim put his arm around her. The shuttle grew large in front of them, until soon it was bigger than anything else in the whole world. Lauren did not look back. Not even when the countdown reached zero, and the gentle blue sky of Earth was transformed into the hard black of space. A strange voice was talking inside her head, trying to reassure her.

  You are not evil, emissary, for performing your duty.

  Lauren thought the voice was a liar.

  TEN

  They coasted into the starry night. The Red Sea, burning with the reflected rays of an evening sun, slipped over the rim of the world two hundred miles beneath them. The shuttle engines gave a final spurt and then cut off. The silence that followed was so deep it seemed to ring. But perhaps it was Lauren's ears that were ringing. As always, the first few minutes after lift-off had been loud. This was Lauren's third trip into space, but she still did not see how the pilot - in this case, Gary - heard anything from Mission Control over the headsets. All she got was noise, but she remembered the first time she had lifted off from Earth! It had been the most exhilarating noise she ever heard. It was a pity that this departure had been tainted by grief.

  Lauren looked out of the window and let the beauty of the scene take the place of her painful thoughts. The entire Middle East was free of clouds and she could see the pyramids and the camels and their drivers' headbands - and it was easy to let her imagination flow, now that her pencils and notebook were floating at eye level. She began to feel somewhat better. Gary was singing a song. He was a rocket man...

  Somewhere over an empty black Pacific the voice of Mission Control was replaced by another voice. 'Columbia. Columbia. This is Station One. Over?'

  'What's Bill want?' Gary asked the Milky Way. The voice on the radio belonged to their commander, Colonel William Brent. In this day and age of exhaustive psychological evaluations and sophisticated compatibility ratings, it amused Lauren that on the most expensive undertaking in human history, NASA had placed a commander and a pilot together who frankly didn't like each other.

  'This is Columbia,' Gary said, opening communications.

  'Major Wheeler,' the voice replied. 'This is Colonel Brent. Congratulations on your successful lift-off. We have you .531 kilometers Y vector down from our projections. Over?'

  'Affirmative,' Gary said. 'We will adjust in approximately three minutes. Columbia out.' Gary flipped a switch on his control board and scowled.

  'You were a bit short with him,' Lauren said.

  'I know where we are,' Gary said. 'He doesn't have to tell me.'

  'What does it matter?' she said. 'The computers fly this damn thing, anyway.'

  'Listen, Doc, these computers only do what I tell them to do.'

  'Gary,' Jim interrupted.

  'What?' Gary growled.

  'Maybe you'll get to talk to your parents once we're underway,' Jim said.

  'Why do you say that?' Gary asked. 'Am I acting grouchy? I'm not grouchy.'

  'It is my unbiased medical opinion that you are showing symptoms of being a pain in the ass,' Lauren said.

  'I know about your unbiased opinions,' Gary said. He spoke to Jim. 'You really think they'll let me talk to my mom and dad?'

  'I do,' Jim said. 'They won't be so paranoid when they know they can cut you off when they want. Bill will be speaking with the president. Have him explain the situation for you.'

  Gary nodded. 'I'll do that.'

  Dawn came again, half an hour later, pouring through the open windows and turning everything to white. Lauren wished for a pair of sunglasses. Her eyes had only begun to adjust when she spotted Space Station One, its two-hundred-yard-diameter wheel revolving like a giant polished ornament. Floating nearby was the Nova, looking oddly insect-like in the harsh shadows of the vacuum. The three of them were not the shuttle's only cargo; the cargo bay behind them was loaded with supplies for the space station.

  There was a jolt as the shuttle's engine reactivated. Now came the fine adjustments. To climb to the higher orbit of the station, they had paradoxically to lose speed. Lauren was not surprised to see that Guy had disengaged the automatic pilot. He took any chance to fly that he could get. Soon they were descending upon the station from above, the California coast the background canvas for their celestial maneuvers. The view was staggering, but was slowly eclipsed as Gary throttled them into the station's axis, which rotated opposite the station proper and thus appeared stationary. Instinctively Lauren gripped her seat.

  'Your rotational vector is .073 cycles high, Columbia,' Colonel Brent said over the radio.

  'Weez already know that, Billy,' Gary said. He slowly rotated a flashing violet knob counterclockwise. There was a low roar as a thruster fired. Then came a final hard bump a
nd a gentle hiss as they locked onto the station's airlock. The first segment of their voyage was over.

  'Good job,' Jim said, slapping Gary on the back.

  'You sure know how to impress a girl,' Lauren agreed. She carefully unfastened her straps. Now weightlessness became a factor. Lauren remembered her first experiences free of gravity. Half of all astronauts felt ill for a day or two while their bodies adjusted to life without up and down, and she had fallen into the unfortunate half. On her maiden voyage into space she had vomited in the pilot's face, an act she was still living down at Mission Control. But after her initial sickness, she had felt fine. In fact, she had come to love slithering around the cabin of the shuttle - and the corridors of Space Station One - like a seal on wheels.

  Lauren followed Gary and Jim as they floated out of the shuttle, through an airlock, and into a heavily padded circular green room. Slowly the walls about them began to rotate, regaining the spin they normally shared with the remainder of the station. Faint, invisible strands of gravity reached up from the floor as Lauren planted her feet, swaying with her companions like flowers dancing in a gentle breeze. The grief of her parting with Terry and Jennifer lessened further. If she but shoved off the floor she could fly like a bird. The knowledge filled her with a sense of euphoria. Gary and Jim shared her feelings. Suddenly, for no reason, they started to giggle. They were still giggling when Jessica Brent climbed out of the ceiling.

  'Jessie!' Lauren cried.

  'Why if it isn't the queen of soul herself,' Gary said.

  Lieutenant Jessica Brent was thirty-two years old, a tall thin dark-skinned woman with thick lips, a short afro, and dizzy expressions. The latter were a cause of some humor at Mission Control, but there was absolutely no truth to the rumor that the reason she had been chosen for the mission was her husband's influence. Jessica was one of NASA's finest biochemists, and although her friend Gary insisted she had never graduated from high school, she had in fact

  published almost as many scientific papers in prestigious journals as Jim had. She had uncanny instincts when it came to research. At the age of twenty-six, while still completing her graduate studies, she had traced the HS-9 virus - the latest and vilest form of herpes (it affected the whole body with cold sores that lasted as long as warts and looked like yellow-headed pimples) - back to the smallpox vaccine. The discovery had consequently led to the development of a new smallpox vaccine free of side effects, and a national reputation for Jessica. Yet she had no ego about her astounding work. Always upbeat, Jessica was one of Lauren's favorite people. Soon she would be the only other woman around for two hundred million miles.