Stephanie Thomas - Lucidity Read online

  I frown. “I never said I could save anyone, and I never gave him that idea. He came to me and told me that I needed to save him, and he needed to save me. It wasn’t the other way around.”

  “I don’t care how it really went, Keeper. You took my son away from me.”

  “I did no such thing.” My words are deep and to the bone.

  The Dreamcatcher Queen doesn’t bait me any further. I stand back up and look down at Echo’s lifeless body, and I find myself yearning for him just like I yearned for Gabe when I thought he was lost from this world as well. Tears well in my eyes when I least expect them to, and my heart feels as if it is being ripped down the middle.

  The Citizen on the table hasn’t moved for a long while either, and Brandon goes as far as poking the girl in her arm, but immediately retracts his hand. “She’s cold.”

  “She’s dead,” the queen hisses now.

  “Dead? So we killed a Citizen in order to save Gabe?” Elan narrows his eyes on me, as if I’m at fault for this.

  “Echo said there was a small chance that she would live …that she’d most likely not make it… ” I start, but it is Gabe who cuts me off next.

  “Someone died to save me?” He sits up, his chest bare and covered with beads of sweat. “Someone … died?”

  “Gabe, we had no other choice. You were going to die … ” I put my hand on his arm to steady him. “You were going to die.”

  Gabe yanks his arm away from my fingers. “Where are we?”

  “Aura,” Elan helpfully points out. “With the Dreamcatchers. You should ask Beatrice why. It’s really an interesting story.”

  Brandon shifts in his spot and doesn’t look at me any longer. All of them seem to have turned themselves against me, and when I look from one face to the next, they avoid my gaze.

  The only person who doesn’t look away from me is Echo, and that’s because his mother is still holding his lifeless body in her arms. I stare too long at him and my head begins to swim with pain. My fingers barely brush against the metal table in time to grab hold of it so I don’t end up falling. A Vision.

  I can hear them talking, but their words sound like they are under water. One moment, I am standing in the middle of a ring of people who have nothing but anger for me, and the next moment, I am in blackness, and there’s nothing. I am nothing, and it is silent.

  ***

  The haze begins to clear, and Echo is there. He stands in front of me and seems surprised, as if I am not supposed to be there. Or maybe it is him who isn’t supposed to be here? The surprise melts away into a gentle smile, and he holds his arms out for me, and I have no other inclination than to go to him.

  I want him. I wrap my arms around him and hold him close to me. I bury my face into his chest and hide my eyes, my soul, my everything from everyone. Only Echo can see me now. He is mine, and I am his, and we are joined in marriage and dreams and Visions. I trust no one other than Echo, because he’s only ever trusted me.

  But somewhere in the distance, I hear someone calling my name. Gabe. I can barely make out his voice, but I know it’s there, even if Echo doesn’t seem to show any indication that he can hear Gabe, too. Echo’s hands are on my back, then slide up my neck and onto my cheeks, and he draws me into a passionate kiss that should never end up breaking. I don’t want it to. I kiss him back, again and again.

  And Gabe calls louder and louder until his voice breaks like someone rising to the surface of the ocean to breathe in the fresh, salt water air. Echo disappears, and everything turns black once more.

  ***

  When the Vision ends, I wake up on the floor. My head is throbbing. I must have fallen after all. I look up, and can barely make out the faces that hover over me, the most prominent being Brandon, who lightly slaps my cheek with his hand to get me to come around.

  “Beatrice? Are you back?” he asks and taps my cheek again.

  “Please stop slapping me,” I mutter and rub at my face with my palm. My eyes are sensitive to the light, so I close them again and lie in place, unwilling to test my resolve so soon after these Visions I’ve been having. “I’m fine. It was just a Vision.”

  “Of what?” Gabe asks, though his tone suggests he is still upset with me.

  “You.” I half lie. “I heard you calling for me.”

  “I was calling for you.” Gabe rolls his eyes and lays back down on his stretcher. I’m sure that all of this is probably a lot to soak in for someone who has just come out of a coma.

  “Well … that’s what it was.” I drag my elbow up and push myself into a sitting position. It’s now that I realize that the Dreamcatcher Queen and Echo are gone. “Where’d she’d take Echo?”

  Elan responds while holding his hands out to help me to my feet. “She is bringing him to another healing ward. When you were in your Vision, he woke up … but it’s not looking so well.”

  I remember how he kissed me in my Vision, and suddenly have an urge to go to him. “I should be with him.”

  “Why?” Gabe coughs and Brandon pulls a blanket up over his recovering friend. “Why do you care so much about some stupid Dreamcatcher?”

  “Because he saved you, Gabe.” I frown at him and his ungratefulness. “He risked his own life in order to bring you back to us. To me.”

  Gabe rubs his head, his greasy, long hair falling in front of his eyes. “I don’t understand. Why would he care about saving me? He’s the enemy. He’s a damned Dreamcatcher, the same ones we are supposed to be killing and eliminating and keeping from getting to the City. The same one—”

  “That she married,” Elan cuts Gabe off and slices to the heart of the matter.

  There’s a silence that settles over the room, shrouding it in emotion. Gabe’s gaze meets my own, and he searches my eyes for an answer … an explanation, neither of which I’ve prepared myself to give.

  Chapter 9

  Now that I’m married, I’m expected to live with Echo. This means that Gabe can’t be housed in my—no, Paradigm’s—quarters any more. After his healing, they’ve taken Gabe, Elan, and Brandon to a holding room, where the guards can easily watch the three of them, as if they were going to do something.

  I am anxious to see Gabe again, but I’m not allowed to go to him right now. Instead, I am being forced to take part in this silly moving in ceremony that Dreamcatchers go through after they marry. The tradition is based on the old tradition of the wife moving in together with the husband in a new home. Here, the wife moves into wherever her husband lives.

  Attendants carry boxes of wedding gifts past me and into Echo’s room. They are deposited in a designated corner, and after a while, I begin to wonder if the line of servants would ever end. Echo is not here because he’s still recovering from Gabe’s healing. I haven’t been allowed to see him, either. I am separated from everyone I know, and am left here, a new princess, monarch to the enemy.

  Already, it is boring. I try to walk away, but just as I turn to make my escape, Jamie and Irene appear, both with bright fabrics draped in their arms. Before I can open my mouth to excuse myself, they block my way and start chattering.

  “Look what you got, Keeper Beatrice!” Jamie starts.

  “Aren’t they beautiful? You are so lucky!” Irene only realizes after that she’s speaking so informally, and she corrects herself with a blush. “Uh—Your Highness.”

  “I am nobody’s ‘highness.’” That is something I just can’t deal with. It’s bad enough I’ve been born into the unfortunate position of being the next Keeper; I certainly do not want to adopt another title on top of it. “Just call me Keeper Beatrice.”

  Jamie and Irene both curtsy at the same time and reply together, “Yes, My Keeper.”

  That’s better, I think to myself. “I was just on my way out. I wanted to see if I could visit Echo.” And I do want to visit Echo, since I now worry for him just as much as I worried for Gabe when he was incapacitated.

  The two servants exchange a glance, and Jamie shakes her head. “I don’t th
ink anyone is allowed to see him just yet, Keeper Beatrice. The queen wishes for him to heal alone.”

  There’s something they aren’t telling me; I can sense it.

  And they know I can.

  “He’s not doing very well, My Keeper,” Irene whispers at last, even when Jamie glares at her for maybe saying too much. “They tried to heal him twice already, but he’s just not coming around.”

  This is terrible news, and I take a deep breath and watch as the end of the servants drop off a few more gifts before departing. Echo’s room is not like Paradigm’s at all. It is stately, with its royal blue walls and crown molding. There are polished pieces of dark-stained furniture, so polished that they reflect the image of the items around them. I take a good look at where I’ll be staying, and when my gaze moves to our marriage bed, I blush and quickly look away. At least I won’t have to worry about that for a little while.

  It’s a horrible thought to have since my relief stems from Echo’s pain and suffering—pain and suffering that was ultimately caused by me. “Well, I want to try. What sort of wife would I be if I just sat around here and didn’t even try?”

  My mind is made up, and I brush by the girls, who are left in my wake carrying the burden of all those fancy bolts of fabrics. I’m afraid that the guards will stop me on my way out, but strangely, they are not here. Perhaps they have not had their posts adjusted yet. They are not used to the fact that their enemy Keeper is now lodging with their prince.

  Still, I must be careful. I don’t rush around corners, but I stop, my slippered feet soft on the marble floors, and I peek around the bend to make sure no one is there. Once I determine it is clear, I start on my way again. I realize, as I am meandering about the palace, that I have no idea where I am going, or where Echo is being kept. Is he back in the healing center? Did they move him into the palace?

  These questions swirl through my mind as I aimlessly continue my search. I could probably escape now, if I wanted to. I could find a way back to the spaceport, but then what? No one from Aura would willingly take me back to the City. And the journey back across the Outlands was treacherous, probably even more so if I was on my own.

  On top of all of that, I can’t leave Gabe, Elan, and Brandon behind. And without me, they’d all probably be killed. I am the only reason why they are alive. The queen doesn’t need them any more than she needs a common Citizen. I have to constantly remind myself that I’m walking amongst the enemy. If it wasn’t for the serum that I took every morning, I’d have the pain to keep me aware of the fact that I am swimming in a sea of Dreamcatchers, but I don’t even have that.

  I finally find Echo in a cozy room tucked away in his mother’s side of the palace. The wing is expansive, with a décor that would be expected of a queen. Everything is a dusty color of gold, or the yellow-orange of a sunrise.

  When I knock lightly on the door, it’s Echo who responds. “Yes?”

  I peek my head around the corner and find that my husband is in much better shape than Gabe. He is lying in a bed draped with royal blue sheets, and fluffy pillows have been piled high around his head. His healing must have gone over better, since there’s color in his cheeks, and his eyes are as blue as ever. “Mind a visitor?”

  “Doesn’t Gabe need you?” Echo doesn’t say this with any conviction. It’s a simple question, an honest one, and yet, I don’t answer it honestly.

  “He’s fine.” He kicked me out. He won’t talk to me. He’s not fine at all. “I was worried about you. No one would tell me where you were. I had to search the whole palace to find out.”

  Echo rolls his eyes and pats the edge of his bed, inviting me over to sit. The mattress is soft and cushiony, and I could easily crawl into it, slip under the covers and will myself back to the City. At least through my dreams. Dreams that Echo probably knows about in some capacity or another. “I don’t know why my mother is being how she is. I chose to heal Gabe on my own—it’s not like you made me.”

  “It will always be my fault. As long as I am here and married to you, it will always be my fault.” I put the back of my hand to Echo’s forehead to check for a fever. He doesn’t look feverish at all, but it’s what people do to sick people when they want to show they are concerned.

  Echo sucks in a deep breath and his hand reaches up to mine, and he pulls it away from his forehead to hold it instead. “I know you don’t want to be married to me.”

  He is right. I don’t want to be married to him. Not because I don’t like him, or love him, even, but because this is not my calling. I’m not meant to be a wife. Seers aren’t wives. Keepers aren’t wives. I’m not supposed to fall in love.

  And though I know all of this inside my head, there doesn’t seem to be a way I can express it in words without crushing Echo entirely. I don’t want to hurt him. Hurting Gabe is torture enough.

  “I never expected to be married.” It seems the diplomatic way of saying everything that is running through my mind.

  “I understand, you know. We can be friends and just … let everyone else see us as husband and wife.”

  “We are husband and wife,” I point out bluntly.

  Echo squeezes my hand. “You know what I mean.”

  “Gabe is upset with me.” The words tumble out of my mouth before I can stop them. “He’s upset that I’m married to you, and he won’t talk to me. He asked me to leave his cell, and I’ve not been back to check on him since.”

  Echo’s lips purse into a concerned frown and he lets go of my hand to run his fingers through his blond hair. “Well, it’s normal for him to be angry about it. He’s probably shocked. By many things. He’s woken up and found out that you’re not just his friend anymore, you are his Keeper.”

  As always, Echo is a voice of reason. Gabe has woken out of a coma to find out that his whole world has been shaken like one of those snow globes that the Citizens collect, and each little piece of white is something in his life that has been rattled out of place.

  “Give him some time, Beatrice.” Though he offers the advice, I know it pains him. I feel like Echo loves me just as much as Gabe does, and every time I bring Gabe up, it’s like turning a knife inside of Echo’s guts. He doesn’t want Gabe to come around like I do. And he probably is happy with me being his wife.

  The thing about Echo is, he tries to please everyone at once. He is trying to please Aura, his mother, his sister, me … but he’s never watching out for himself. And that’s a dangerous place to be.

  “I will have to, won’t I?” I’m miserable just thinking about the fact that Gabe doesn’t want me near him. What would he do if I left here and went back to his cell? Would he still turn me away? The anticipation of rejection is enough to keep me from going there to find out. I don’t want to be turned away again. Not by Gabe.

  Echo tugs on my arm, and I lie down, resting my head on his chest as he cradles me close to him. “It’ll be okay, Beatrice. I promise you that this will all work out. I promised you that I’d get Gabe back, didn’t I?”

  I can hear his heart beating through his chest, and it’s strangely calming. I let my eyelids flutter shut and invite the comforting darkness, wishing I was back home in my bunk, before the Dreamcatchers invaded, before I became the Keeper. Life was much simpler then, my days filled with the Training Games and classes.

  Echo rakes his fingers through my hair, and when I open my eyes, black strands fall across my face. I blow them out of my vision with a puff of air, then tilt my head up to look at Echo, who may have been staring down at me this whole time. He hooks a finger under my chin and lifts it just high enough so that he can lower his lips to mine in a gentle kiss.

  I kiss him back with a need that surprises me. Before I understand what is driving me to do this, I turn toward Echo so that the kiss can blossom into something more. Maybe I’m thirsty for affection, a break from the whirlwind my life has become. I grab at his robes and the kiss only parts when Echo pushes my shoulders with his palms so he can look up into my eyes.

 
“Beatrice?” He says my name with concern, as if asking if I am sure about what we are doing.

  “Don’t talk, Echo. Just let it be.” I don’t know where this part of me is coming from. It’s a part which wants to be accepted and loved without all the politics behind it. Echo feels safe to me. For so long he’s existed only in my dreams, but even then, his presence was comforting and real. Now that he has me here with him, it’s even more real.

  He obeys and leans back down to kiss me, and our lips graze each other’s just as his mother walks into the room and stops in the doorway, surprised. It’s the clearing of her throat that brings the kiss to a definite end.

  “Mother,” Echo greets her in a somewhat disappointed manner that dares me to smile.

  “I see that you are feeling better. And that your … wife … has found you.” The queen’s icy stare narrows on me, and I instinctively clutch onto Echo.

  “I am feeling much better, yes.”

  “And her paramour? How does he feel?”

  Now I sit up, my fingers uncurling from Echo’s robes. “Gabe’s not my ‘paramour.’”

  “I suppose not, since you now lay with my son.” The queen looks between us.

  I blush furiously at the thought of laying with Echo at all. Her words are a double-edged sword, and it cuts through me just as she planned. I want to withdraw, but I know that is what she wants me to do, so I stay where I am, heavy with guilt. What was I thinking? What will Gabe think?

  Echo cuts in where I don’t speak. “Mother, it’s not really your concern as far as my relationship with Beatrice goes. I’d appreciate it if you could keep your comments to yourself.”

  The queen looks as if Echo has slapped her, and she crosses her arms in front of her chest, resting her slender fingers against her pale skin. “Very well. But I will have you know that your relationship is every bit of my concern. It is what will fix what the Seers have broken. It will align us with the City, our original home.”

  “Yes, I know.” Echo has probably heard this speech more than a billion times. His hand finds my forearm and he presses his fingers against it in a hidden and much needed gesture of support.