Stephanie Thomas - Lucidity Read online

  “Is she ready?” the queen asks past me to Jamie and Irene.

  But I choose to answer. “I am.”

  The queen’s ice blue eyes shift to mine. She hands the mirror off to a servant and brushes by a few more of them to get to where I am standing. I think she’s going to strike me, and part of me wishes she would, but I know the sting of it would be much, much more than physical. She could take my life with just one touch, and I’m ever more aware of it now that she’s standing so near.

  “When we go out onto the balcony in just a little bit, you will meet with the Dreamcatcher people who are loathe today to hear that you will be marrying my son.” The queen’s attention flickers to the double doors that lead out onto the enormous palace balcony that oversees the main courtyard. I can hear the bustle of people outside, the muffled noise of someone speaking through a microphone, and the general chaos that comes along with having a large crowd in a place not big enough to hold them. “But they are hopeful, too, because not only does that mean that the Keeper is ours—”

  “Which it doesn’t mean at all,” I am quick to cut in.

  The queen doesn’t stop to debate the matter, though. “Not only does it mean that, but it also means there’s a possibility that a child will be born from your union. One who will be strong enough to cure the plague. From everyone.”

  There’s the truth of it. It’s why she so desperately wants me, so she can put me in her sick experiment to find a way to heal and live forever. Of course, she thinks that this is the outcome, but no one really knows what a Dreamcatcher and Seer would produce should they have a child. Whatever it is … it is not natural.

  And it is not coming from me.

  An overly dressed and too-fancy attendant approaches the queen, his pants gold and baggy with bells tied on chains wrapped around his waist. Maker, it is tacky, and though I want to laugh, I only let my mirth for the entertaining man show through a gaze given to my two Citizen servants, Irene and Jamie. They hide their smiles behind their hands and try to pull themselves together.

  “I am being told that now is the time.” The queen touches me, wrapping her arm through mine to escort me to the balcony. I stiffen, waiting for the pain, for the blackness, for everything that they told us about a Dreamcatcher’s kill in the Institution, but nothing comes aside from the impatient tug. “Come on, child.”

  For whatever reason, I think back to the Keeper, standing by the Beacon, blurting at me that I’m her daughter, that it is my job to protect the Institution and the Seers … to go with her. What would she think of me now, on the arm of a Dreamcatcher, being marched down some metaphorical aisle to my Dreamcatcher prince? Shouldn’t it be she who gives me away? I don’t know much about marriages and weddings, aside from what I’ve seen on the holovisions and read in books, but I thought it was someone’s job to give me away.

  And why do I care so much?

  While I am too busy thinking about what was and what will be, we have made it to the balcony doors, which are opened wide for us. A sheet of light almost blinds me as it bursts through the space, illuminating me to everyone on the outside, but casting a glare over everything I see. It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust, and when they do, I am standing at the top of three stairs that lead down onto the balcony where Echo is waiting for me. He’s dressed in his ceremonial robes with golden trim to replace the normal crimson, and the way the sun casts down on him, he looks as if he stands in a protective, summery halo.

  The crowd goes silent just as soon as my image is broadcast across the millions of holos in Aura. Those who are physically gathered in the courtyard shift together in one press to get a better look at me. I feel their eyes on me, hating me, admiring me, and generally not knowing how they should react.

  Echo smiles. Is he trying to be reassuring? I can only stare at him and wonder.

  The queen steps down the stairs, and I have no choice but to follow her. She tugs me along as if I’m going to turn and flee at the last moment, and I actually laugh a little, finding it to be a ridiculous notion. Where could I possibly run to now?

  Out of the corner of my eye, I see Brandon and Elan standing off to my side in a throng of wealthy, miserable Dreamcatchers who can’t stand to be so near to them. I take a deep, calming breath, knowing how much my friends must also hate me right now. I sincerely hope they understand why I am doing what I am … this is all for Gabe. I need him back, and if this is what I have to do … then I’m doing it.

  Before I know it, the queen lets go of my arm, puts my hand in Echo’s, and kisses her son’s cheek. She turns outward to face her people, and a loud, almost deafening cheer goes up for her. Echo’s fingers twitch and squeeze around my own, and I lift my violet gaze to him and can’t help but to feel sad that his wedding should have to be as forced and political as it is.

  But I am also grateful that it’s Echo I am being forced to marry. He has become more than just a friend to me throughout our ordeal, and I’ve never had reason to not trust him in the past. This is another case of me letting him hold my hand and take me into the unknown.

  I tighten my grip on his fingers and steel myself.

  “Today, people of Aura, we will be making history. Today, we will be marrying the Keeper to my son, Prince Echo. We will be forever closing the rift between the Dreamcatchers and the Seers, despite the wishes of those at the Institution. The previous Keeper made it her goal to create a chasm that would forever keep our two people apart. This chasm was made out of fear and jealousy that the Dreamcatchers were becoming too powerful. So, when they cast us out, put up their shields, and turned their backs on us, the Dreamcatchers went west and, with the help of my great grandparents, founded Aura.” The queen begins the ceremony with some biased background of our shared history, and it doesn’t surprise me. The crowd reacts, grumbling at first, but when their home city is announced, they break into wild cheering once more, too proud of their accomplishment.

  “And now we must protect Aura. As long as we have the Keeper with us here, we will be safe. We will also get the many things we’ve demanded for years, such as new and healthy Citizens who will hopefully help to curb the plague. So while I know you are upset that our only heir, Prince Echo, must give himself away to one of them, I want you to remember the benefits of this marriage.”

  Echo leans over and whispers something close to my ear. “Are you sure about this, Beatrice?”

  “It’s the only way to get Gabe back.” It is a cold reply, but I say it with an intensity that Echo can hopefully understand.

  The queen steps back so that she’s facing the crowd, and we turn slightly to face her. She holds her hands out and puts one over each of our heads. “In the eyes of all these witnesses here today, I, queen of the Dreamcatchers, do hereby proclaim my son, Echo, and the woman who stands beside him, Keeper Beatrice, to be wed. May they forever live out their days as husband and wife, and may their union be fruitful and blessed.” She lifts Echo’s chin so that he has no choice but to look into his mother’s eyes. “Do you accept my blessing, my son?”

  “I do,” Echo whispers quietly.

  “Will you protect and honor your wife until the end of your days?”

  “I will.”

  I swallow back tears. How could I do this to Gabe?

  The queen lifts my chin next. “Do you accept my blessing, Keeper Beatrice?”

  I am doing this for Gabe.

  “I do.”

  “Will you protect and honor your husband until the end of your days?”

  “I will.”

  Everything is quiet. No one makes a sound. The wind rustles through the crowd, and expensive silks brush together, sometimes causing a whipping echo that dies as soon as the wind does. I can hear my heart beating in my ears, and Echo’s palm pushes against mine, sensing, maybe, the panic beginning to fill my chest.

  A too-large raven startles almost everyone as it appears overhead and bellows out its cry. It perches on the edge of the balcony, and the queen takes a step away from th
e black bird, confusion set in her gaze. When I look up to see the holoscreens, the cameras have all focused on the arrival of this strange omen, and people point and whisper as they regard the projected images.

  “I present to you, people of Aura, your prince and his new princess, Keeper Beatrice.” The queen is quick to draw the attention back to the wedding, and her announcement brings a confused cry of celebration that doesn’t quite sound sincere. The words “PRINCE ECHO MARRIES KEEPER BEATRICE” flash across the bottom of the holoscreen, scrolling in an endless marquee.

  From above us, servants fling white and gold rose petals that shower down and get everywhere.

  “This is when I kiss you,” Echo whispers into my ear while I’m busy staring up at the rose petals, some of which brush down my face and onto the ground.

  I forgot about the kiss. It is insult to injury, but it’s what the people want … it’s how the wedding finally ends.

  I also forgot about how much I enjoy kissing Echo, and when he leans down to press his lips against mine, I make no extra show of kissing him in return, aside from squeezing both of his hands in my own. I also don’t pull back right away, and allow the kiss to go on as the crowds cheer around us. It’s a dizzying sensation, and just before I allow myself to get lost in it, I remember Gabe back in the palace nearly dead on his stretcher. I break the kiss and manage a shy smile, if only so the camera crews can make good on it.

  “Are we done now?” I shout at Echo through the endless cheering. He nods his head and leads me back up the stairs and into the palace, safe from the cameras and holoscreens and thousands of people who are both angry and fascinated with our union.

  The queen stops behind us, putting a hand on Echo’s shoulder. “The formal reception will begin in a few hours. That gives you two some time to settle from the ceremony.”

  I blush almost immediately, knowing that what she really means is much, much more. Echo bows his head in a formal gesture to his mother. “I think Beatrice and I are going to go for a walk instead. Somewhere private, where we can be left alone.”

  “As it pleases you, my son.” She kisses Echo’s cheek and turns on her heel to walk off down the long, mirrored hallway. An entourage of people follow after her, and I honestly don’t know how she manages it all day long, being tailed by so many people and not having a break for herself.

  “Come on, Beatrice.” Echo wraps an arm through mine and pulls me close to him so we can walk together. “Just so I don’t forget … ” He begins and looks down at me, his white-blond hair even more radiant when he’s dressed with golden accents. “You are a beautiful bride.”

  I smile and shyly lower my eyes away from his gaze. “Thank you.” It’s all I can say. I let him walk me to wherever, and I happily follow him, because I have nothing else to do here. I am his prisoner and his bride at the same time, and I only have Echo to confide in. He is my husband now and until the end of my days.

  And perhaps it takes until this moment to realize for how long that actually is …

  Chapter 8

  The next day, they decide to revive Gabe in the back room of the healing center. The Citizen they are using has a name, but I don’t bother to learn it. I don’t want to learn it. I don’t even want to look at her, but she’s dragged across the room in front of me, and I notice her feeble, knobby knees that poke out from under her hospital gown and the way her golden hair tangles around her face. She can’t be any older than I am, and in just a moment she will probably cease to exist.

  Echo must sense the knot growing in my stomach and pushing its way up my throat so I can’t breathe. I feel his fingers brush against mine, but I don’t want to be touched. I haven’t let him touch me since the wedding, when we turned to face the room of awestruck Dreamcatchers, hands joined together, newly married. I can’t bring myself to think of Echo as my husband yet. Not with Gabe still in a coma. And even after … how am I supposed to tell Gabe that I belong to Echo now? To the Dreamcatchers? To the enemy?

  I also forget that Echo is the one doing the healing. He insists.

  The Citizen woman is tied to an unforgiving metal table, and I look away. This has to happen for Gabe. I need him back. I’d do anything to get him back … I just didn’t think I’d go as far as possibly taking another’s life. Or Echo’s. When did I become so desperate and cold?

  I look down at the silver wedding band on my finger and twirl it with my thumb as the Citizen screams in protest. Eventually, they gag her, and her screams muffle then die out.

  Gabe also lies on a metal table, hooked up to the same machines that keep him breathing and stable. He looks so pale, and if I didn’t know by the constant beeping of the different apparatuses, I would easily think him dead.

  Echo steps forward just as his mother enters the room. She’s wearing a pale yellow gown that makes her blend into the rest of the sunny accents of Aura. “Echo, I will remind you that this is a terrible idea.”

  When Echo looks at the Citizen, the woman stares up at him with wide, pleading eyes, and he doesn’t break contact with the frantic gaze. “It is not stupid if it will save his life, Mother.”

  “You don’t have to care about his life. He’s just some Seer boy who should be on his way back to the City.” I hate how she talks as if I am not here, but in this moment, I don’t feel entirely here anyway. I feel like a bug on the wall, observing some sick scene that I can’t stop and can’t look away, either.

  “He is Beatrice’s, my wife’s, best friend. And that means something to me, even if it doesn’t mean anything to you.”

  Does it mean something to you, Echo? I look to my new husband and try to find some sort of truth in that statement. I don’t know why, exactly, he wants Gabe to come back to us. He says it is for me, swears it is for me, but I know inside he is dreading the competition.

  Echo puts his hand on the Citizen and she stiffens almost immediately. His eyes turn a crimson color that I haven’t seen since the last time he killed a Citizen to heal himself. It frightens me, and I take a step back away from the tables.

  “This is ludicrous,” the queen announces, steeling herself to where she stands.

  Echo looks to his mother, but defiantly reaches out with his other hand and pushes it down on Gabe’s naked chest. Gabe jolts up, his back arching, then crashes back down on the table and starts to convulse. Echo struggles to keep his hand on him, and he stiffens in pain, his eyes glowing a fierce red. He grits his teeth together and grunts in misery, and all the while, the Citizen girl lies still, her body becoming limper and more fragile. I even think she’s turning grey, and I can’t stand to look at her any more.

  “Echo … ” I start, wanting him to stop. But I don’t want him to stop. I want Gabe back.

  I need Gabe back.

  Gabe cries out, and it’s the first time I’ve heard his voice since the Institution. Echo cries out at the same time, and I notice that every time Echo yells in agony, Gabe does too.

  “What is happening?” I blurt at the queen, expecting her to tell me that this is normal, a part of the process. But she looks just as concerned as I do, and my question goes ignored.

  Eventually, Echo forces his hand off of Gabe, as if it was being sucked into his chest by an unseen force. Echo then crumples to the floor in a lifeless ball.

  And Gabe opens his eyes.

  The Citizen doesn’t move.

  None of us do.

  I don’t know who to run to first, and my legs are stiff, fixing me to my spot. I’m paralyzed with fear that I just lost Echo to Gabe. Why did I let him go through with this?

  Gabe turns his head and surveys where he is. He is confused, I can see it in the way his brows knit together in concern, so I step forward, deciding to approach the both of them at one time.

  “Beatrice?” Gabe whispers, his voice rash and wispy from being silent for so long.

  I stop beside Echo, but before I can check on him to make sure he is okay, his mother rushes up behind me and shoves me out of the way and into Gabe’s gur
ney. I catch myself on the edge, just short of smashing into Gabe’s frail body, then look down at my no longer comatose best friend. “Gabe.”

  The Dreamcatcher Queen rocks Echo’s lifeless body in her arms and actually begins to sob. That is my husband, possibly dead, and yet, all I can concentrate on is Gabe, who looks as confused than ever.

  “What happened?” he asks.

  The doors to the healing center open, and Brandon and Elan step in. Both of them scan the scene, and when they notice Gabe is alive, they hurry over to his side, caring little for Echo’s lifeless body, or the way his mother cries out his name.

  “Echo, come back to us … come back to us. This girl is not worth it!” The queen means me, and I am starting to believe the same thing. I’m not worth it. I’m not worth Echo’s life.

  “Excuse me,” I whisper the words to Gabe and the same guilt I felt when I left him floods over me again as I choose to go to Echo. Kneeling to the ground, I try to reach out to put my hand on Echo’s head, to brush back his hair, to just touch him and feel that he’s still warm, but his mother won’t let me. She jerks Echo away from my fingers, and if she were a cat, she’d probably hiss at me to keep me at bay.

  “Leave us!” the queen blurts in her rage. “He should have never brought you back here …”

  “But he did,” I deadpan.

  The queen’s icy glare meets with mine. “And he shouldn’t have. Bringing the Keeper into Aura with the silly dream that she’d be able to save us all? My son believes too much in people, Keeper Beatrice. His mistake this time was believing too much in you.”

  “Keeper Beatrice?” Gabe asks, probably having no idea why I am being referred to as such.