9781618850638IfOnlyYouKnewBergman Read online

  I looked at him, smiled, and shook my head no, “Just tired poppa, just glad to be home again.”

  When I got home, my mom was waiting on the porch. My momma was a wonderful lady, always doing something for those who needed help. “There’s my baby, come here!” she squealed as she hugged me.

  I didn’t say much but smiled as we walked inside the house. It was good to be home after all this time, and it was good to see my grandma too.

  “Grandma, oh it’s good to see you sweetheart.” I shouted as I walked up to her sitting in her favorite chair. She smiled and opened up her arms for me to hug her.

  Grandma Rosa was probably my favorite person besides my parents. She was the only other person who knew my personal secrets and thoughts. I could tell her anything without her telling others. Our bond was our loyalty for each other.

  “How’s my little momma doing?” She always called me little momma, even though throughout my life I had been a big girl.

  “I’m doing fine grandma, how about you?”

  “Besides my arthritis, I am doing just fine. How’s New York and how’s Richard doing?”

  “Yeah, how is Richard doing?” asked my dad.

  I looked at them and flatly said, “He’s fine, I guess.”

  The look that my parents and grandma projected showed that I must have sent a shock to their system.

  “Sweetheart, are you ok?” momma asked.

  “Yeah, I’m fine; just hungry and tired. I’ll go and put my things up in my room and I’ll be down for dinner.” I got my bags and started to walk upstairs. I really didn’t want to think about Richard while I was here, but that would be as hard as a fish trying to breathe out of water.

  When I came back down for dinner, the food was already out and my stomach was growling like crazy, as I sat down at the table.

  “Can you pass the potato salad please, dad?” I asked while munching on some ham.

  Passing the bowl, I scooped out two big spoonfuls onto my plate and started to scarf it down.

  “Sweetheart, don’t do that to your food, eating it like a hungry dog.” Grandma told me.

  “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to eat like that.”

  The phone rang and my mom went to get it, “Hello? Yes, hold on a second please, it’s Richard.”

  I shook my hands and head ‘no’ as her smile disappeared. “I’m sorry, Richard dear, she isn’t available. Alright then, goodbye my dear and take care.” I continued to eat as if nothing happened, but everyone else stopped and kept their eyes locked on me.

  “Marley Stacy Rockford, can you please tell us what is going on? Richard just called, and you didn’t even answer his call. That’s not like you at all.”

  “You guys, right now is just not a good time for me to talk about what is going on between me and Richard. And if he does call back again, tell him that I don’t want to talk with him at all.” I got up with my plate, piled on some more ham, took my tea, and walked outside on the porch.

  When I got out of the shower after dinner, my mom was sitting on my bed looking at me. “Now, will you tell me what is going on with Richard?” I went to the door and slowly closed it as I continued patting my face with the towel.

  “I told Richard that I loved him.”

  She sported the biggest smile that I had ever seen in my life. My mom has always had a thing for Richard, and no matter what, she always wanted Richard and me together.

  “And what did he say?” she smiled as I went to my dresser and got a gown.

  “He smiled and he told me that he wished that he had known. Said that of all the girls he had been with, he should have known that he had the best one of them all in front of him all along. Then it looked like we were about to kiss but…”

  “But what my dear, what happened then?”

  “His God damn girlfriend came in, I told her what was going on, and she threw some red wine all over my dress and called me names.” I started braiding my hair.

  “That bitch!”

  “Exactly, that’s why it felt good to slap the taste out of her skinny mouth in front of all her high fashion friends. After all that, I left and I have been avoiding Richard since.”

  “Well, there is one question that I have to ask you then?” she said, standing.

  “Yeah, what is that momma?”

  “Why are you running away from him? You have no reason to be here at this house. You finally got the man of your dreams and like an idiot, you up and run away.”

  She was right; I was an idiot for leaving like I did. Hell, I was a schmuck for leaving Richard and avoiding his phone calls as I did. I gave my momma a hug, and she held me close as I started crying in her arms.

  When I got up early the next day, my grandma was up drinking her morning coffee and eating her toast. “Hey grandma, I see you’re up early.” I smiled, pouring me a cup.

  “Yeah baby, I am, you know I’m always up at six,” she said to me as I gave her a kiss on top of her silver hair and sat down next to her at the table.

  “Sweetheart, I want to tell you a story about when I fell in love with a boy who lived in the town I grew up in. Oh, he was such a sweetheart to me, Jason Milton was his name, and he was so handsome too. Sometimes, he’d leave me candy on my windowsill, or he’d swing me on the swings. We had loads of fun being around each other like we were. But I never did tell him how I really felt about him until it was too late. He moved up North to live with some relatives of his when we were teenagers. Oh baby, my heart broke that day, and I never was able to get over it afterward,” she solemnly said as she sipped her coffee.

  “You never tried to get in touch with him or anything like that, Grandma? I mean, there are ways to find people, you know.” I assured her as she smiled at me.

  “Back then, we didn’t have the means we do now. His entire family up and left right after he did. Come to find out, the Klan was after them for something that I still don’t know to this day. I did try to get in touch with him but come to find out he passed on about 10 years ago. That hit me most of all, because I could have told him how I felt but I never did.”

  I could tell that it hit her hard. I saw the tears welling in her eyes, so I held her hand and she put hers over mine for reassurance.

  “Plus your momma told me about what you said to Richard,” she said as I rolled my eyes and put my head down on the kitchen table.

  “I hoped she hadn’t told you.”

  “Well she did out of concern for you, baby, I just don’t understand why you are here. You need to be there, getting things resolved.”

  We sat in silence for the longest time, drinking, and then my mom came into the kitchen and got herself a cup. “Richard called three more times last night while you were sleeping.”

  I looked at my Grandma who was looking at me with a smile, and I smiled back. “Why don’t you call him back, baby? It seems like he’s worried about you.”

  “I told him that you would be on your way back home this evening,” Mom said as my dad came in the living room with my suitcase in tow.

  “You really planned all this out, didn’t you momma?” I said shaking my head.

  “Go on upstairs and put on the outfit I laid out for you to wear, and your dad is going to take you back to the airport. I can’t stand being in the way of true love.”

  When I did get back to New York, and finally made it back home, my voicemail was full of messages from Richard. I sat and listened to every last one of them, “Marley, please answer the phone. I am so sorry about what Laura said to you at the party. Please answer the phone!” That’s how most of the messages went, asking me to answer the phone, to call him back right away, that he was sorry for what Laura said and did to me.

  “I see you made it back home, what happened?” Marie asked once I did settle in at home.

  “My mom found out and sent me right back here to get things squared away with Richard. How is he, by the way?”

  “We went out last night, and he asked me if I heard anything from
you at all. I told him that you went away for a while. That’s when he picked up his phone, and he called your parents. But when they said that you weren’t around, he said goodbye and the look on his face, Marley. I don’t think I have ever seen Richard look so down before, like he lost his best friend,” she told me as I breathed a heavy sigh of sadness.

  “You need to call him and let him know you are back.”

  “I’ll talk with you later.” Pressing the button, I hesitated for a while before deciding to press the speed dial to his number at the gallery, but eventually I did.

  “This is Richard Collins Gallery, this is Richard speaking,” he said richly over the receiver.

  “Hi, Richie Rich, this is Marley Mar,” I said quietly.

  “Marley, I’ve been worried sick about you. How have you been doing?” I could literally hear the concern on his voice, and in a way, it made me feel good that he cared so much.

  “Been keeping busy; Thinking things over in my head as well.”

  “I hope that you didn’t forget about what you said to me, because I sure as hell haven’t forgotten anything you told me out on that terrace, Marley.”

  I had to sit down when he said that, I really and truly had hoped that maybe he forgot. I really wished that the event had never ever happened.

  “So you just made it back home, huh?”

  “Yeah, my mom sent me right back after she heard what happened that night, told me I needed to solve it and get it over with.”

  He started to laugh and so did I, but then, we stopped and I heard him say, “What are you doing tonight, Marley? Why don’t we go out and we can talk some place quiet, just you and me.”

  “I don’t know; I really don’t feel like it right now, Rich. The only reason why I called in the first place was that Marie told me to. She said you were concerned, I still need some time.”

  It got quiet on his end and I could hear him sigh then he softly said, “Don’t push me away, Marley. I’m coming over there, so you better buzz me up, ok?”

  Then he hung up before I could say anything. I shook my head and put the phone back in the cradle as I sat down on the couch.

  He wasn’t coming here, he was only bluffing.

  I heard a loud buzzing that woke me from my nap, and I stumbled toward my intercom.

  “What is it?”

  “I told you I was coming over, Marley, now let me on in!”

  “You can buzz all you want, Richard. I will not let you up here to talk, please go away!” I shouted as I walked back to my couch.

  That stubborn man kept right on buzzing away, and that annoying ass buzzing sound kept ringing in my ear for what seemed like eternity, but only lasted for about fifteen minutes. I had the pillow over my head to try to drown the noise because it was killing me. However, even that pillow didn’t help my ears.

  When I started to take that pillow off my ear, at last, I heard nothing. No more buzzing from that buzzer, complete silence is all I heard. That’s when I heard a lot of honking outside and when I went to the window, I saw him standing in the middle of the street. In his hand, he had a blow horn, and on his face, he had that marvelous smile of his, I couldn’t help but watch and see what he was going to do next.

  “I would like to make a formal plea to the lady in room 317, her name is Marley Rockford and she is the one who was always my study buddy in college when we first met our freshman year. She has been there for me through thick and thin, always a shoulder to cry on, she is my friend, my confidant, and I hope that just maybe she will listen to what I have to say!”

  I opened the window as the cool breeze blew out all the stuffiness of the apartment. People just walking by and folks from the inside other buildings were looking at him on the street. I sat there and watched him as some lady was telling him, “Will you shut the hell up, and I’m missing Sex and the City!”

  “Marley, I wanted to tell you that I was sorry about not realizing how much I meant to you. I want to say I’m sorry that I just didn’t realize a lot of things throughout the years when we were together. You see…a couple of days ago, this lovely woman, my best friend in the world, told me that she loved me with all of her heart. I admit, I was completely shocked because at the time, I had a girlfriend, and worst of all, I didn’t know how to react. But when I got home that night, I sat up for a long time, and I thought back, thought about all of those times we spent together in school, those study dates we had. Remember that night, Marley, when we played truth or dare?”

  Oh my God, he remembers truth or dare!

  “Remember the night in the closet when I was dared to either kiss you or drink that nasty crap with the cigarette butts?”

  I had to laugh as I heard a lot of folks whistling and whooping it up in the streets.

  “I remember that kiss, Marley. I remember how your lips felt; they were probably the softest I have ever kissed. Marley, I knew at that moment, our relationship was different from other relationships. You and I were one on every level, but I was blind to realize that the perfect woman I had been looking for was sitting right next to me in class. She was joking with me about some of the craziest shit that anyone could think of. She was making the best grits for someone that didn’t think he liked grits. She was you, Marley, and I was the biggest idiot of all time not to realize what I had in front of me. After that night at Laura’s, she went off on me, and we ended up having a really big argument about you. She called you every name in the book, and I defended you to the end. I told her that it was over between me and her!”

  My heart felt as though it would jump right out of my chest. I couldn’t believe it; he had broken up with her.

  “So everyone that has gathered around me and for those who are hanging out of the building, and especially to you, Marley, I want to let you know that I have found the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with, the one who makes me feel whole and complete. Marley, I want to spend it with you!” He took the blow horn away from his mouth and produced the most beautiful smile that I had ever seen.

  “Go on girl, don’t you hear him asking to be with you, you better get with it!” shouted one lady from the street, who had a bunch of friends with her, shouting and whistling.

  “She better answer quickly because thanks to her, I missed Sex and the City!”

  “To hell with Sex and the City, this is way better!”

  I looked down at the growing crowd, and I couldn’t see straight for the tears in my eyes. Everyone was cheering, shouting, and whistling as I wiped my eyes. Talk about being embarrassed by the moment.

  “So what do you say?” Richard asked.

  “I would say you’re mental for doing this, but that’s what makes me love you even more!” I giggled, wiping the tears from my face. Getting up, I walked to the mirror and looked at myself. Shit, my face looks horrible. Oh well, I got my key and went downstairs.

  When I got outside, the noise was deafening as folks from every walk of life were cheering, clapping, and whistling from everywhere. Damn where the hell did all these people come from anyway? I looked over and I saw him come my way, that smile on his face was enough for me as I ran up and hugged him.

  It felt like heaven in his arms, and this time, I wasn’t scared at all because he was mine and I was his. He looked at me and smiled, holding my head in his hands. He didn’t do anything but look at me with those steely gray-green eyes of his.

  God, those eyes of his!

  That’s when he kissed me. Oh my God, I had died in his arms as he kissed me. Everyone kept clapping as we continued kissing in front of my building. I couldn’t hear the clapping or the honking of the car horns or the cheering from people that I didn’t even know. All that mattered was that I had the man I loved and was able to keep my best friend too.

  *The End*

  About The Author

  Born in Jamaica Queens New York, Jamallah Bergman eventually moved around from New York to Alabama and eventually settling down in Georgia with her family and spending part of her chil
dhood in Roswell Georgia.

  Jamallah started to first write when she was just 12, writing scripts for her dolls and as she got older her stories grew along with her.

  She eventually read her first romance novel when she was 15 and became hooked and started to write about romance. It wasn't until she got older when she started to write about erotica as well.

  Jamallah had started to notice that whenever she would read the stories that she loved, she never could understand why the heroines in the stories were nothing like herself. None of the women were full figured or plump or what she would sometimes think of herself (to coin the phrase from Mo'Nique) a "Thick Madame". It would often upset her that she could never find a story where the main character was a full figured woman who finds love with a handsome man.

  Soon Jamallah started to write stories where the full figured woman ALWAYS got her man!

  Jamallah Bergman's main goal in her writing is to appeal to the woman who despite what society might think of her and even though she might have some sort of self-doubt about herself, deep down she is strong woman who can do just about anything she sets her mind to.

  Jamallah Bergman still resides in Georgia and lives in Atlanta with her teenage daughter Jamira Anna Marie, who gets her artistic side from her mother by drawing and making movies.

  http://jamallahbergmansstoriesoflove.weebly.com/index.html

  Secret Cravings Publishing

  www.secretcravingspublishing.com